Beyond Terror (1980)
4/10
Tedious nonsensical obscure Eurotrash that could have been wayyy better
11 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
First up in regards to the reviews, this has really absolutely nothing at all that resembles "Tombs of the Blind Dead" so I don't get why that gets referenced.

Anyway, a gang of nihilistic overly murderous heathens (sort of lead by a girl who's one of the most murderous of the bunch which is unique) do some random robbing and murdering and force this bourgie couple to drive them to wherever but that gets screwed up (due to a nonsensical fight) then they end up at a grandma's house, kill the womans dog outside and then proceed to terrorise her & her grandson (more the grandma really) for more nonsensical unclear reasons, then after doing so set the lady's house on fire because they think they have to (??) leaving her and the grandson to burn up, the bourgie's seem to have no problem with this (!!???) and follow the gang along as they escape. Grandma had a trick up her sleeve however and is besties with good ol' Satan and curses them just as they're leaving and she's "dying" on the floor.

I'll really move things along though here because "nonsensicality" is the name of the game with this thing. Everyone basically does completely confusing/absurd stuff constantly. Some examples: Bourgie dude gets burned alive in a car, could've been saved rather easily but no one does anything. Bourgie lady gets all hot over gang leader Chema and even later says she was going to start some new life with him, apparently because her dude just didnt do it for her (!!??). One gang member recites some religious stuff in a sacrilegious way while nonsensically masturbating while evil girl gangmember hangs out watching a fire burn but then she (not to long after) injects the same dude with heroin and then proceeds to give him a bj (!!??, also this is virtually impossible), dumb stuff like that.

Basically everyone dies in mostly pretty boring ways and shockeroo.. It turned out to be the Satanic grandma behind it all and she and the grandson AND the dog are all not dead anyway, the end, blah.

Mostly worth it for old school Eurotrash horror freaks (like myself) to watch once, cross off a list and then forget about. Some of the sets were decent enough and it's got that great 70s/early 80s look to it, the score isn't the worst... other than that though? Meh.
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