Lightyear (2022)
3/10
A disappointment
5 September 2022
The film tries to become a prequel to the extremely successful toy story line. As such it fails miserably, not due to technical issues, but simply because the story sucks. It is inconsistent, carries nothing but clichés and failed punchlines along, and is full of loose ends, even for five-year-olds.

The main problem is that the hero, the actual Buzz Lightyear (who in this movie is supposed to be a real hero, an experienced space ranger, and above all a real person, rather than a cartoonish toy), has all the traits of the wannabe action hero of the actual Toy Story films, and this simply does not work. I did not count how many times "To infinity and beyond" was said, but definitely way to many, I guess due to lack of better punchlines, obviously. Buzz is stubborn, rather than brave, a do-it-all loner, rather than a team capable personality, childish and opinionated, rather than wise and adventurous. All these traits are fine for the toy, which actually does not quite know what the real world looks like, but fail miserably for a real person (in fact I kept asking myself, how this guy could even become a space ranger in the first place...).

If the movie was at least funny, or creative, one might forgive its shortcomings, but unfortunately this is not the case.

The whole plot is an incomprehensible mixture of a cartoonish outer space (where one would expect the black Martian from Roger Rabbit to land any moment), and a B-movie of the space horror genre from the seventies. Huge malicious brainless plants and bugs, an even more brainless super intelligent super villain, and utterly stupid but insanely strong robots. The secondary characters, are something of the trio Stooges, but unfortunately not as funny, with only a couple of punchlines which keep repeating over and over again....

The three stars go for the animation technology, the voice acting and the (strangely enough) not completely wrong physics..... However, Pixar's amazing team cannot compensate for the totally inadequate script.

Watch it at your own risk, with lots of coffee to to help you overcome the boredom (or even better watch something else).
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