I watched Joe's Palace and was perhaps more prepared for the type of personal journey revealed within the walls of this beautifully maintained old house. Understanding that a house in our dreams represents ourselves, and a journey through the rooms, from the heart of the house, the kitchen, to the depths of darkness the cellar, I found this easily explains Mary's personal journey. Mary struggles to find herself within a society she forced herself to imitate, even surrounded by the best and brightest minds, she cannot explain why the world even though she is a voyeur through her writing career.. So she begins a journey in the kitchen, from the warmth of her heart, feeling both captivated and desired by the mystery of life to the damp of the cellar, where so many years of history and story are stored, unchanged but still prized without really knowing what evil they contain.
When she realises she becomes frightened that she cannot understand, she briefly questions if she should be trying to explain things she does not understand through her writing at all.. The second time she visits the house the scene is more lurid and unwholesome, a loss of innocence. Grenville offers her the key to understanding. Mary forces it away, shuts it out from the pleasure, but this time she becomes more disturbed and aware that she does not want to understand. Gradually she loses her faith over the years until she runs away and hides herself within someone else's life. Her future encounters with Grenville all occur when she had returned to the society that she finds herself trapped within, the society she always wanted to belong to but she is frozen with that knowledge. Mary has failed herself and society because she has not been able to express clearly what she feels, while she recognises others expressing themselves without fear of society and either losing themselves or succeeding. Mary just stays still, always being struck by what disturbs her, never having the courage to move past it, and hoping she can pass the time without being overwhelmed by her sense of failure. Somehow she finds the courage to return to the house, to herself, and retraces her steps from the kitchen to the cellar and all the rooms or emotions, judgement, pleasure and pain so she can finally stop being afraid of her fears and be free.
When she realises she becomes frightened that she cannot understand, she briefly questions if she should be trying to explain things she does not understand through her writing at all.. The second time she visits the house the scene is more lurid and unwholesome, a loss of innocence. Grenville offers her the key to understanding. Mary forces it away, shuts it out from the pleasure, but this time she becomes more disturbed and aware that she does not want to understand. Gradually she loses her faith over the years until she runs away and hides herself within someone else's life. Her future encounters with Grenville all occur when she had returned to the society that she finds herself trapped within, the society she always wanted to belong to but she is frozen with that knowledge. Mary has failed herself and society because she has not been able to express clearly what she feels, while she recognises others expressing themselves without fear of society and either losing themselves or succeeding. Mary just stays still, always being struck by what disturbs her, never having the courage to move past it, and hoping she can pass the time without being overwhelmed by her sense of failure. Somehow she finds the courage to return to the house, to herself, and retraces her steps from the kitchen to the cellar and all the rooms or emotions, judgement, pleasure and pain so she can finally stop being afraid of her fears and be free.