5/10
Cannon war
6 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The Forbidden Dance: Made by Menahem Golan's 21st Century Film Corporation - Menahem wasted no time as this was his tenth film at his new studio in a little more than a year - and released by Columbia Pictures, this would be my favorite of the two films, but the race is very close. That's because this feels pure Cannon in its astounding weirdness, placing Miss USA Laura Harring as Nisa, a Brazilian tribal princess - who speaks Spanish and not Portuguese the actual language most people speak in Brazil - who comes to America with tribal shaman Joa (Sid Haig!) to stop the rainforest from being cut down.

Let's review that last sentence and just wash in the joy of all that is Menahem Golan making movies.

Aftr Joa goes to jail for using black magic to break into the headquarters of an evil corporation, Nisa ends up becoming a maid for rich people Katherine and Bradley Anderson (she's played by Shannon Farnon, the voice of Wonder Woman on Super Friends) and their son Jason (Jeff James) just wants to dance. He's got jerk friends and worse parents, so Nisa runs away and becomes a private dancer, a dancer for money at a dance club/brother named Xtasy.

After one of Jason's crappy friends tries to get with her - and she knees him in the dick - he tells Jason's real girlfriend Ashley (Barbra Brighton) all about it and she's as gross as everyone else in his life, so he mopes around and tries to Taxi Driver save her and nearly gets killed by a bouncer who then plans to assault Nisa before Joa appears and uses magic to save them both.

Now the movie moves into a dance contest story, as Nisa and Jason decide to do lambada and win a chance to appear on TV to discuss the rainforest before Richard Lynch - this movie just went up five stars - kidnaps her and busts Jason's ankle just before they're going to get on stage with Kid Creole.

Of course, black magic saves the day again, Nisa's father shows up and everybody decides to save the rainforest. And do the lambada.

The Forbidden Dance was not allowed to have the world lambada in its title, while it got the rights to use the actual song "Lambada." Sadly, the sequel Naked Lambada! The Forbidden Dance Continues was never made, despite the ad in Variety saying that it would be.

Best of all, the movie ends with this on screen: This movie is dedicated to the preservation of the rainforest.
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