Fix My Flip (2022– )
8/10
Some people should never try to flip a home
15 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
This is an interesting concept; different from many other HGTV shows where professionals come in and help flippers who are in over their heads, be it first timers or people who just made bad decisions on this particular deal.

Page evaluates the home, then offers her expertise for a cut of the profit, sometimes including her own money to invest in the reno. Most every time the flippers barter her initial offer down. In some cases, I can agree, but others, her expertise is direly needed and worth every penny of whatever profit portion she takes.

For example, the fourth episode is a married couple, first time flippers, who bought a home to flip based on their emotional response to the place (it reminded them both of his childhood home. Say wut?!), borrowed extensively from both of their parent's, plus loans to purchase and renovate, clearly had NO plan whatsoever for how they were going to proceed and did not do a speck of research on the area they purchased and planned to sell in. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

And the husband side of the team was a real know-it-all, while the wife seemed to be going along with whatever he said because she believed him to be knowledgeable. Because he has an MBA. Apparently from Walmart's online college. 'Cause he ain't knowing a lot by a LONG shot!

At the time Page is asked to come in, they've been sitting on this 977 sq foot of property for eight months, making $4,000 per month mortgage payments (not including taxes and insurance!), they've gutted the interior, removing ALL of the original 1920's charm and character, and threw it in a garbage pile in the back yard, and they had a 1,000 square foot addition planned, which brought their total Renovation Budget to $525,000.

The market they were in, houses of the same size were being sold for $1.2 million or more and it is a young and funky artist community, who WANT small homes with LOTS of character and charm. Everything that is the polar opposite of what these two are doing. Not only that, but they were spending $375,000 dollars on top of what they'd already spent, to add that addition that people wouldn't want and WOULD NOT PAY FOR, so the max they would likely sell for would be $1.3 million. Netting them $100,000 additional profit for spending $375,000.

As Page notes, this is just basic math. And she knows what she's talking about because she's a professional and she did her damn homework.

So these two agree to her revisions (him clearly reluctant because he thinks he's the man), getting rid of the addition and trying to infuse some of the character they cluelessly ripped out, while spending only $100,000 more, and selling within two months for a tidy profit. They agree at first, but then after she and her team have gone in and done prolly a week's work of work or more, she hears from them with urgent news: they've decided they want to do the addition anyway, and common sense be damned! I sure hope both their sets of parents are independently wealthy 'cause they ain't ever seeing THAT money again!

So she flat out tells them "I wish you luck, but I'm out. I cannot in good faith continue if this is the road you're going down." Basically, you're idiots and you're on your own.

So she gets a call from two brothers she's worked with before, and they've done a flip in the same funky artist neighborhood, and they want her advise on something. She arrives and the place is seemingly done, if very plain and builder-grade. The brothers reveal they want to keep this flip and make it their first rental investment property.

Page explains that, because of the neighborhood, rentals don't go for a lot, and they would actually lose money every single month. She advises them to sell, and take that hefty sum and THEN buy their first rental investment. They know she's talking sense and so agree and she and her team stage and bring in some character, and the place goes for the tidy sum of $1.1 million, but it's an all cash offer. Those are awesome!

At the end of the show Page goes back to the married couples sh!t-show to see how things are progressing. No one is on site, prolly because they ran and hid from shame when they saw her coming. Lol! But seriously, four months later and they've literally gotten NOTHING more done on this property. There are some pipes laid in the dirt where the addition is supposed to apparently, eventually maybe go...but that's it.

So these two nitwits have now paid $48,000 in mortgage payments (plus taxes and insurance) for a home they won't be living in and now won't be able to sell for enough to get back a substantial profit, if any at all. And there's no end in site.

As Page states right before the credits roll, this particular flip is a cautionary tale for ALL first time flippers. And man, is it ever.
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