Beverly Hills Teens (1987– )
5/10
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
15 April 2021
Ah, BHT, what a strange gem you were.

First bit here is "As a kid" review. My grandmother picked up a few of BHT's tapes from a yard sale when I was young and brought them home. It was a cartoon and that seemed good enough for her, lol. But I found myself sucked into the world of Lark, Troy, and Bianca. Separated at birth from Jem, BHT was very much a product of the 80's. Following the lives of the extremely upper class teens inhabiting BH (or at least BH if it had Jetson level technology), it was full of huge hair and 80's lingo. Tubular...Radical...Reaganomics!

The premise was odd and the stories were zany, but (as a child) it held a bizarre, hypnotic charm...like a lava lamp. This was not He-man with its magic and monsters, nor was it even the mindless slapstick of Inspector Gadget. No, BHT was its own entity. While there were no real "adventures" to be had, there were parties, galas, and dances by the truckload. Though there was a villain (of a sort) in Bianca, she wasn't exactly Mumm-Ra in her schemes. Most of the time she was more the foil who's machinations often led to her own downfall. But beyond her, the group were all fairly good friends. They might get on each others nerves once in a while, but they always made up in the end. Interesting, different, and oddly appealing.

As an adult:

After a long time searching, I found the show online and have been revisiting it. Jeez at how viewing it as an adult changes it. Could have just called it "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous II" and had done with it. Granted, it's not the character's fault that they're all well-off, but its presented to such an excessive degree as to make it extremely shallow, and oftentimes, grating. Though it is Bianca that says it, they mention trading in a three-section limo (complete with hot tub) because its sundae bar ran out of whipped cream. Again, though it's the 'villain', the mentality is on display by others.

The 'troubles' presented to the teens really become vacuous and empty when compared to their wealth. Yes, money can't buy happiness, but it can make a better show of it than is presented. Take an episode with Lark. Thanks to Bianca's meddling, Lark's homework gets ruined and she can't attend the dance. They completely ripoff the Cinderella story and have Chester act as her fairy god-geek (complete with pumpkin car). They really press what a horrible and painful dilemma she's experiencing. I think perhaps you missed the part where Cinderella suffered actual torment but was rewarded because she maintained her faith and remained a good-hearted person. Lark isn't a bad person, but come on, her greatest lot in life is that she can't go to a dance? I do hope her sports car, mansion, pool, and uber-hot boyfriend can get her through this ordeal. This is the same character, who, despite looking like Marge Simpson, Elsa Frankenstein, and Wilma Flintstone got thrown in a blander, still manages to win the beauty contest...just because. Again, she's not a bad person and demonstrates more humanity than Bianca (such as when Bianca literally walks over Wilshere and Lark says she wouldn't want a man to do it for her). But, like her beau Troy, she may be more humble and humane, but good things literally get thrown at her only because the plot says so. She'll win the beauty contest because she's Lark. She'll win the singing contest because she's Lark. She's a Queen, and a Senator, and a handmaid...No wait. Just rich, and a model, and Homecoming Queen, and an actress....

But behind and beneath the veneer of easy-going teens, there's a certain judgmental egotism lurking in the dark. Money, good looks, and high fashion rule this world with an iron fist...and woe be upon you if you don't have all three. In the episode "My Fair Wilshire" the level of body-shaming put on display is revolting. The boys all decide to give Wilshire a make-over to help him woo Bianca. But though their intentions might be noble, their mentality isn't. "I've always wanted to save the whales." "I eat when I'm nervous--you must get nervous a lot." "He may look fabuloso, but underneath, he's still pretty gross-o." Jeez, just beat him to death with flaming torches while you're at it. When Tara's family temporarily loses their fortune, the kids react to Bianca's suggestion that she get a job the way one might react to being asked to remove a limb. To them, it was "The Poverty Experience" to the other 99 percent of us, they're called "The days that end in Y", lol.

To say the show doesn't age well is an understatement. In a great many cases, one has to wonder exactly what era the writers had in mind. For one example, the girls dance around in their bathing suits for the prize of being Troy's homecoming queen. You will let me know when the men-folk have to dance around in their speedos, won't you? Even Lark says "I like a boy who opens the door for me". While that's very civilized of a gentlemen, I think most modern-day women agree "I know how a door works, I'm not an invalid." But at least both sexes are equal in that they view their counterparts as little more than arm-candy trophies. Plus...there's a Southern belle named Tara. Granted, they always pronounce it as "Tar-ah" instead of "Terra". A Southern bell that talks about mint julips...named Tara...that's...that's a thing.

Final Thoughts: It doesn't age well, but it does have a certain nostalgia factor, though its mostly relegated to the people that watched it way back when. Though it bears the overtones of the 80's, the bizarre Jetson technology creates enough of a disconnect for any new viewers to appreciate the nostalgia. I grew up in the 80's and I don't right off recall functional robots, chairs that delivered drinks, or talking guitars. The intense focus on wealth, beauty, fame, and popularity can (and does) rub some viewers the wrong way. Whenever there's a discussion on 80's cartoons and I mention BHT, people always ask "Wasn't that the one with all the snobby rich kids?" Though it was, at its core, harmless enough, I'm not sure that was the legacy it meant to leave behind. Take it as you will. See it as a show about a group of friends and their shenanigans, or see it as a disturbing view into the excesses of Capitalism.
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