Deadly Vows (1994 TV Movie)
3/10
Gut- churning TV movie thriller will touch you ...in all the wrong places
26 March 2021
Well you know what... I quite like made for TV movies with "Deadly" in the title but this one is kind of an unholy storm of very wrong things.

If I'm honest it's skating quite close to being horror so don't put it on in front of grandma

Basically a creepy middle aged man decides to have a full on midlife crisis and get himself a 20 year old girlfriend. He then concocts a rubbish plan to get rid of one of the women in his life.

Highlights of this film include one of the most cringe- inducing vomitus love scenes ever. I don't want to call it love but I can't call it sex because that doesn't happen thankfully for us all. If you enjoy seeing a podgy middle aged man perving over a boggle- eyed dense young girl then your luck is well and truly in. For the rest of us prepare for gut heaving scenes of unparalleled grossness that will have you shouting at the TV and making retching noises. If you are hoping to see a young made for TV actress without her top on watch something else. The only person without their top on here is our leading man. So if what you most want to see hairy moobs, you have also hit the jackpot.

To be fair, this guy does an amazing job of being absolutely repellent and loathsome, so hats off to you big man -have three stars for your trouble.
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