Watch Me Wallow
8 January 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Horrible direction and glacial pacing kill this one deader than a dodo,

Speaking of dodos, why are all the characters in this film so damned dumb? Poor dumb Martha (Vanessa Kirby) is clueless. She wants to home birth her baby just because. We're not given any reason why. She probably saw it in a magazine or a TV reality show so she just wants to. Even during labor she doesn't have a clue what's going on (and she's been to birthing classes with her partner).

Boyfriend Sean (Shia LaBeouf) seems a tad more aware, but he's a manual laborer so no one listens to him. He defers to Martha and the midwife until it's too late. He's in thrall to Martha, who seems to come from money, and her imperious mother (Ellen Burstyn).

The movie then follows the aftermath of the birth as Martha sleepwalks around and refuses to accept or understand what's happened. Meanwhile the mother and sister launch a court case against the midwife. Martha grows apart from Sean as she wallows in her non-emotional state.

The courtroom scene is, I guess, supposed to be the dramatic climax, but it's as hollow as Martha's monotone speech. And by the time this happens, the audience has left the building.

Hideous direction shows us close-ups of shirt collars and all sorts of extraneous stuff. How about watching Martha walk up three flights of stairs? Yes, there's a thrill. How about endless shots of the river? Time passes. We get it.

I'll bet Kirby will be awash in awards but I found her annoying. And shall we talk about 88-year old Burstyn playing the mother of a thirty-something? She should have been the matriarchal grandmother. It would have made more sense.

And what's with the vague Jewish trope? I would say this film is a piece of something ... but it ain't a woman.
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