oscaralbert Review of Two on a Guillotine

Two on a Guillotine (1965)

When this film was first released, critics dismissed it as . . .

[7/10 · 22 November 2020]

. . . a miscast mess, uneven in tone and characterizations and WAY too creepy with its underpinnings of family madness and overtones of necrophilia. However, those who specialize in decoding Warner Bros. films as a more entertaining and far more accurate outline of the Future than the ravings of that overrated Nostradamus dude view TWO ON A GUILLOTINE as one of the ultimate triumphs of these peerless seers. The unrivaled prophetic prognosticators of the always eponymous Warner Bros. warn America of a looming Executive Mansion occupant as crazy as a balloon which has broken its tether. Sharing a name with that orange buffoon now residing at 1600 Penn Avenue, the villain of this flick beheads his wife, strips his own unconscious daughter two decades later, plasters one of his late spouse's gowns on the girl and drops the title blade toward HER endangered noggin! The first dame chopped ALSO shares a name nearly identical to the soft core foreign starlet's. "Melinda" is presented toward the gruesome finale of her story as Marie Antoinette, tossing rolls of paper towels as the Cathedral burns and half a million die. Surely Warner is suggesting that our U.S. Homeland of 2020 will have to utilize the title device to cleanse our abused nation of the entire perfidious Pachyderm Political Party Pack.