2/10
Terrible film
23 June 2020
Just watched a Hulu movie called Dustwalker I'm not entirely sure why. At first it was Lovecraftian psychological horror. (Look at the image art on the movie poster and dvd cover for reference to why I thought it'd be more Cthulhu-related.) Then the 10 minute mark hit and the plot got thrown out the window. Too many plot devices that were never explained and left unanswered for the duration. The first one was that town's only cell tower is down...which we find out because the tech pulls out his cell phone and calls A friend in town...who answers /on her cell phone/. This isn't even a spoiler since /NEVER COMES UP AGAIN/. Also, I HATED the ending. I'll spoil that below. Spoilers start here:: I have a few questions: 1. Why is the movie called Dustwalker? The creature never goes near the dust storm (which itself is a one-and-done plot device that never gets explained. The thing goes underground as it's primary mode of transportation. 2. How the hell does the ALIEN speak and understand English within a couple hours after arriving on earth? 3. Can we talk about how the creature is half scorpion, half Resident Evil dog thing, but Is also a centaur? 4. The ending. Ugh. So. The entire movie is spent with survivors running from people gone murder-hobo who exist only to kill all humans and infect them with alien DNA or whatever. Then big bad comes along (the third of 4 times we see the creature), and takes all of the infected people, puts them in a pit and freaking /IMMOLATES THEM/ with its "now I'm a dragon-scorpion-demon-dog-thing" magical fire breath. That's it. The whole premise of the movie sucks so hard that the writer literally figured it'd be easier to just set it alight than try to fill in all of the plot holes.

If you're a fan of really campy, tropey bad films, go find one that doesn't suck and watch that instead. Overall, I give this movie a 2/10 stars, and that's just because I like psych horror (though this one down played the horror aspect.)
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