Fantastic Four (I) (2005)
3/10
did my laundry while watching the movie
1 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
I love the marvel series and every attempt to make new movies and introducing new superheroes into our world. I never read any Comics, so my critics go to this film as a standalone.

I found that I guessed the plot of this within the first 5minutes of the movie. But the holes were so deep, I tried to fold my Pants with a sock, I was so confused. I admit to have started grining when I saw Cole from Charmed as the supposed villain in the movie. He already played highly evil characters before, so I though he fitted very well. But admittedly I wished him a bit more evil as in my opinion he did not deserve a strong Name like Dr. Doom. Right after Doom they introduced Storm as the female main character. I think they wanted to make her intelligent and she was some sort of scientist. But to me she seemed the shallow Assistent to Doom who would fall for him, as he was his Boss and had lots of power and Money.

I don´t even know how but in the next 3 minutes they already been up in space! Of course today, there is no Need for a Special Training to go into space. That was quite to fast! Also this predictible Scene from Storm: Oh look, we got some super tight and stretchy suits now which I will present to the audience with my perfect Body so everyone overlooks my lack of acting. Ben the big Bloke was all over with his love to his wife and everyone new, you could relay on this guy. Well up in the air some sort of wild storm hit the Crew. They Kind of misscalculated the time it will appear, but they never explained why an how. Ben later just said, this is nature. Deal with it.

Magicly they all survived and been transported to some expensive private Hospital, thanks Mr. Doom! They all been in quarantine, as knowbody yet knew if they were.. infectious? In the Marvel University quarantine obviously means, you can hang out with each other outside on the balcony, be in the Cafeteria or even go to a snowboardtrip with your Nurse??? Stupidest Thing I've ever heard. When the Nurse entered the room of a patient she didn't even weare gloves or a protective mouth cover.

Anyway here they discovered their new powers. OMG the Scene with Reed, sliding his Hand trough the gap of the door! I had to cover my eyes, it was to painfull to watch this mess of CGI Animation.

Well they discovered Ben had gone so they followed him back to NY. The doctors or what obvioulsy lifted quarantine as they .. well just left allthough theire powers have just emerged and nobody knows what they are?!

Ben made to NY with the Train? From top of some mountains right into the City he phoned his wife from the Corner in front of his house, to call her down and meet her. At the window you could see her waiting in a negligee. Well she just went down on the streets with only her negligee! Right on the streets with everyone watching. When she saw Ben she ran away, obviously scared. Can't believe anyone gave their OK to direct this ridiculous Scene.

The Trio heard Ben would be at the End of the Bridge... which could be any Bridge and any End. But they tried to meet up. Ben meanwhile had Trouble to addept to his new Looks, which he did quite well. He portrayed the confusion and addepting excellent. Ben got into a huddle with someone who was about to commit suicide. And he Kind of saved him but also caused a huge Crash with like tweenty others who surely got injured. The fantastic Trio was also in the traffic jam and of course knew.. this had to ben? Why would they guess that. They haven't even seen him fully transformed. This Scene though: There was a hold up and People watching the chaos. Reed suggested that Storm must use her invisibilty to get in front of the line. First of all: and to do what? She undressed infront of all the People, predictibly switching between visibillity and invisibility. I don*t know if we should have laughed or whistled.. I was just embarassed how flat this scene was made. When she eventually got infront of the line... she couldn't do anything and Reed and Johny also were just in front. WHAT WAS THE POINT? Was it really that obvious, give Jessica a Chance to Show off? As this wasn't enough Ben's wife turned up (How did she know he was there? How could she come through the traffic?) and left her ring on the ground. It was very sad.. and confusing. So it seemed they needed to find out about theire powers. Best place was Reeds Science lab in a huge loft on a top Building in NY. Stuffed with loads of devices, Equipment and medical Hardware. I heard him saying he was broke and had no Money...?! The Filmmakers really think the audience is stupid.

The Tests they made also were so laughable and completly senseless!What Kind of metal holds the temperature of the sun? If he was Close so become a supernova.. why wasn't the building and City around already been smushed into ashes? How can they x-ray or what Bens Skin and organs without shielding themselves. Also this is supposed to be an unknown structure and material. I had no Idea what Kind of mirror or glass this was when they figured out Storm really was invisible. Why did he have to look through magnifying glass to see, if she really was invisible? Also there was this forced lovething between them. I could never have seen them as a couple, there was no chemistry whatsoever. Only Storm looking hot and Reed was a geek. The didn't fit at all. They put in a horrible Montage of everyone experimenting with theire new abilities - but they made it into a 1990 version. Until that I would have enjoyed the movie if was 9 years old.

In all between Van Doom became Dr. Doom. His Transformation took Ages to complete, also nothing really happened.

The following Storyline included mainly the four bickering over each other, Johny living his new life and Ben separates from the Group while Storm and Reed seem to fall for each other again. The whole city seemed to celebrate the FF although really they only reapired the damage they have caused themselves. And the all loyal true husband how loved debby so much.. found a new Girl in a bar. Just as plain as that.

Of course there had to come the fight against Doom were all of the four eventually unite and fight as a Team. They just figured it out within the last 5 minutes. There was like on Scene where I found a bit of acting from Alba. When she had to hold the storm of fire! I believed her. Although I wondered : At first Storm had to repell the fist of doom and she cried out, she couldn't hold it longer. Someone else took over. The Endscene of the fight however included her Holding against a supernova. And she did alright with that.

So now let me tell you about the end where I shoutet out loud: The four celebratet on a boat (Why didn't it sink with Ben transformed into the the Thing?) and there was the Blind one, Alicia. And Ben already seemed completly in love and forgotten his wife Debby which he mentioned like ten times in the moviè? That made me really angry at the end.. as if marriage and love was just something you Switch like your underwear. No great values they trying to teach us in the film.
2 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed