Monsterland 2 (2019)
1/10
Worse than creepshow 3, no really, it is
9 January 2019
This is without doubt the weirdest and most incoherent horror anthology film I've ever watched. It's just over an hour long and is comprised of 6 segments. Here they are.

Segment 1 "Brace face", this is stupid, pointless, badly acted, and has zero point to it. It's some kind of spin on the zombie, vampire....Thing but it's just odd for the sake of it and badly made.

segment 2, "White drift", a boring werewolf segment that seems to go on for ages without anything happening, it has one of the most stupidest female characters I've ever seen in any horror film, seriously, there isn't a human being on this planet this level of dumb. The werewolf is in it for about 20 seconds and attempts to bite a victim about 30 times in quick succession and barely causes a scratch, it just wiggles it's head around while the camera wobble all over, it's awful.

Segment 3, "Wormbug", ridiculous plot, a rubber monster parasite that talks, the mouth doesn't move when it speaks, it moves like someone has it on a stick off camera and it's just weird. Really leaves you scratching your head.

Segment 4, "The flea" wtf, no seriously, W.T.F? I've no idea what to say about this one, a baby killer? a guy that mutters jumbled garbage and some bloke in a house with an old man in the attic, that said baby killer wants to kill, honest to God, I just have no idea what this segment is even trying to say, it's just a bunch of random scenes with no point to them, it's dire.

Segment 5, "Justice served" a weird and boring courtroom drama type thing with a, I have say neat little twist to it, but it's so dull and cheap looking that it takes away any interest it may have had, it pains me to say it, but this was probably the best of the bunch and I use the term "Best" as loosely as I can because it's still garbage but at least this one seems to have some form of story to it.

Segment 6, "A simple procedure", how this is even classed as a short film I'll never know, it's literally 30 seconds long, I've seen advertisements longer than this, I can't really say if it's good or bad because there's just nothing to it and this brings the film to it's end, thank the Lord.

Please stay away from this Godawful anthology film, it really is the worst one I've seen (and I sat through Creepshow 3 and XX) It's so cheap looking, badly acted, I dread to think how many pages the scripting took up because most of the stories have no point or narrative, it's weird as hell, but not in a good way, the effects, what few there are, are terrible, it's just an all round dire, depressing experience.

Update, this film seems to have gotten a small bunch of 10/10 ratings since I wrote the review which has bumped up the IMDB rating, trust me, these are either paid for ratings or ratings from people connected to the film, this film is a 1 out of 10, 2 if you wanted to be really really generous (and I'm not generous, sorry) Terrible cash grab of a film.
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