2/10
Genuinely bad
10 March 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I've sat through this serial a number of times, trying to understand its appeal, even among hardcore serial fans. It's just very poorly done. Robin seems to be on tranquilizers, and looks more like Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer than the Boy Wonder. Wayne Manor is a middle class home and the Batmobile is a Mercury. It's not even black. All of which could be forgiven were the writing remotely coherent. But alas.

Take Professor Hamill...a scientist and "wheelchair invalid" (with a nicer house than Bruce Wayne) who frequently, albeit temporarily, regains the use of his legs through the use of a hidden "electric chair" device. We see this process time and again, and Hamill is clearly keeping both the device, and whatever the hell her does whilst mobile, completely secret, even from his servant, Carter. He maintains at all times the illusion of being permanently disabled, for whatever reasons, and would, I guess, prefer to dance the cha-cha by himself (or whatever one secretly does with their legs) than benefit mankind, win a Nobel prize, and make an inestimable fortune with his incredible machine.

All of which is incredibly goofy, but nothing compared to the fact that Hamill spends the penultimate chapter openly walking around...in full view of not only Carter, but also Commissioner Gordon, Batman, and Robin. And not one of them notices that he isn't in a wheelchair. Nor, in the final chapter, when he returns to his wheelchair, is it ever remarked upon that, hey, that guy can sometimes walk.

Not only does Batman - the world's greatest detective! - fail to notice a wheelchair-bound man, walking...he and Robin also spend a lot of time out of costume, basically doing the same routine as when they're in costume. Including consulting with Commissioner Gordon as Bruce and Dick, in a manner indistinguishable from their consultations as Batman and Robin, except that they spend a lot of time saying things like "Batman asked us to give you this, " rather than just wearing the damn costumes. Considering the fact that Batman also drives Bruce Wayne's car, the guy seems pretty cavalier about the whole secret identity thing.

Sure, the action is poorly staged and the acting variously hammy/anemic, but I cannot overstress the degree to which virtually nothing about the plot or character actions makes a lick of sense. In one early scene, the fact that diamonds are stolen, and that diamonds power the "remote control machine" that is the villainous Wizard's primary weapon (see, don't I sound like I'm having a stroke at this point?), is taken as instant and conclusive proof that the robbery was committed by the Wizard's gang, for the sake of powering the machine in question. It never even occurs to Batman - or indeed, to anyone - that diamonds might be stolen for any other purpose.

But most of all, above and beyond all else, never let it be forgotten...BATMAN DIDN'T NOTICE A DISABLED MAN WALKING.
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