Review of The Darkness

The Darkness (I) (2016)
3/10
Yes...it IS that bad!
11 October 2017
Who is Greg McLean? Who gave him money to make that movie and allowed him to write the script himself? This is not a horror movie, unless you are younger than 10 years, maybe. It's an awful mess of lame ideas copied shamelessly from genre classics and mixed together into a superficial esoteric story convoluted by unbelievable family drama.

Why did actors like Bacon and Mitchell do this job? Bored to death? Out of money? The acting is the only thing in this movie that made me give it more than 1 star. The director botched it big time on all levels of movie making. The pacing was awful, actually nothing happened until the very last 15 minutes, and even that went down the drain. The whole family drama stuff felt artificial and out of place, this family faced so many problems and in the end a supernatural experience brings them back together...well, just BS.

There was no tension in the movie, ever. Besides people "acting like you and me" by sitting in dark rooms intentionally while weird sounds come from the attic, the movie constantly rubbed everything in the face of the audience. I always knew what was going on or to come next, as the movie had just told me before it happened. There was no mystery in it at all. The parts where they looked up everything on the internet in seconds - finding fully fledged websites about their specific (oh sure) problems that looked like an advertising agency had designed them... The whole Anasazi demons mumbojumbo being stretched out until you just didn't want to wait until they finally appear. When the old healer lady entered the house I had a last spark of hope that finally now hell would break loose...well, not really. Not at all. The whole thing was a letdown and felt like it was made for a very young audience. Nothing happens, people do scream a few times, one get's bitten by the neighbours dog, two others get a few minor cuts from flying glass shards. That's all! Horror doesn't mean blood, but come on - those demons were as evil and frightening as an old hag on the street.

You don't need to be a cineast or a professional film critic to know that this movie was crap. If you find it entertaining, well, blessed is the simple mind. If you say this movie scared you a bit, you should never go outside except in bright sunlight. And even then your own shadow could make your heart stop.

Mr. Mclean is a lousy writer (actually more sort of a cribber) and a mediocre director. I didn't see any promising talent here that would make me want to see his next opus. This movie is a total waste of time, unless you need some illustrative material about how not to do it.
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