Robert Shaw does his 'Quint' imitation (from 'Jaws') in this goofy pirate adventure.
During the playing of the clumsy musical score, 'Ned Lynch' (Shaw) runs around in his best red pirate blouse unbuttoned all the way down to his navel (you know, the way all gay pirates do). While 'Major Folly', portrayed by the typically over-acting Beau Bridges (Lloyd's load), conducts an execution of James Earl Jones, Lynch rescues the Black Man with the help of perfectly placed ropes for him to swing to shore on, and then back to his ship, which is conveniently displacing deep water a foot from the beach, all while the townspeople jump for joy for no apparent reason, complete with cartwheels and the triumphant yawping of a banana salesman (from whom Lynch later steals the dude's banana supply). Does Quint-- I mean, Lynch, know these people? Do they get some form of remuneration for their loyalty? Does anyone give a rat's butt?
Lynch continues to bounce around, smiling like an idiot, with his trusted crew which includes everybody's favorite effeminate giant, Geoffrey Holder, and pudgy Avery Schreiber (who wears a 'half-shirt'.... yuck!) with his cheesy mustache in tow. Finally, Lynch meets the token damsel-in-distress (Genevieve Bujold) who is trying to retrieve her necklace from one of the crew sluts. The resident villain is Peter Boyle (I bet he does a kill Brando impersonation).
Smash-cut to the plot.... Genevieve must conscript Lynch to her service in order to free associate political prisoners who await execution. The rest is more blarney interspersed with every pirate movie cliché in the archives. For note, one of Lynch's men speaks 'monkey', Lynch's ship is equipped in the script with a 'character name', and there's a rooster on-board for laughs, of which there are few. Horrendously directed by James Goldstone who must have run out of film (or money) judging by the way the movie cuts off abruptly without the luxury of a satisfying final scene.
From the vault of Goldstone's private stock crock. Tune in if you must. My rating: 2 stars for Genevieve Bujold's boobs.... one for each boob.
During the playing of the clumsy musical score, 'Ned Lynch' (Shaw) runs around in his best red pirate blouse unbuttoned all the way down to his navel (you know, the way all gay pirates do). While 'Major Folly', portrayed by the typically over-acting Beau Bridges (Lloyd's load), conducts an execution of James Earl Jones, Lynch rescues the Black Man with the help of perfectly placed ropes for him to swing to shore on, and then back to his ship, which is conveniently displacing deep water a foot from the beach, all while the townspeople jump for joy for no apparent reason, complete with cartwheels and the triumphant yawping of a banana salesman (from whom Lynch later steals the dude's banana supply). Does Quint-- I mean, Lynch, know these people? Do they get some form of remuneration for their loyalty? Does anyone give a rat's butt?
Lynch continues to bounce around, smiling like an idiot, with his trusted crew which includes everybody's favorite effeminate giant, Geoffrey Holder, and pudgy Avery Schreiber (who wears a 'half-shirt'.... yuck!) with his cheesy mustache in tow. Finally, Lynch meets the token damsel-in-distress (Genevieve Bujold) who is trying to retrieve her necklace from one of the crew sluts. The resident villain is Peter Boyle (I bet he does a kill Brando impersonation).
Smash-cut to the plot.... Genevieve must conscript Lynch to her service in order to free associate political prisoners who await execution. The rest is more blarney interspersed with every pirate movie cliché in the archives. For note, one of Lynch's men speaks 'monkey', Lynch's ship is equipped in the script with a 'character name', and there's a rooster on-board for laughs, of which there are few. Horrendously directed by James Goldstone who must have run out of film (or money) judging by the way the movie cuts off abruptly without the luxury of a satisfying final scene.
From the vault of Goldstone's private stock crock. Tune in if you must. My rating: 2 stars for Genevieve Bujold's boobs.... one for each boob.