I am writing this review for viewers of the future in the hope that the damage done to the world of cinema by this production can be contained by warning its potential audience .... not to see it.
So, readers of the future, you should know that this review was written in 2015 at a time when governments in the west were trying to control... just about everything. Guns, travel, the internet, you name it.
But even in this confused milieu the one thing that it is seemingly still possible to do is make a movie about whatever you like, without checking with anyone first.
Which is a shame. Because I believe that if the producers had to get a permit to do this horrid remake of Miracle on 34th Street, someone, someone with decency and common sense, would have asked the question ... why? And further investigation would have revealed that not only was nothing of substance being added to the aforesaid X-mas classic, but this production could actually discourage potential viewers from watching the original, and so diminish its audience over time.
Which would be wrong on every possible level.
I am not going to tell you this film is wretched. It is not. In its 2 hour running length, it possibly has enough tropes, set pieces and clever dialog to fill ... maybe .. I am stretching here.. 20 minutes.
Gary Hudson as the Prosecutor acts on an entirely different level of magnitude from the rest of the cast and in many scenes carries the film on his back. The children are cute. There is a scene with a miniature horse which is solid, although completely out of phase with the rest of what passes for a script.
And, oh, in case you were wondering, Dean Caine plays himself, as he always does. Nice work if you can get it.
So, readers of the future, you should know that this review was written in 2015 at a time when governments in the west were trying to control... just about everything. Guns, travel, the internet, you name it.
But even in this confused milieu the one thing that it is seemingly still possible to do is make a movie about whatever you like, without checking with anyone first.
Which is a shame. Because I believe that if the producers had to get a permit to do this horrid remake of Miracle on 34th Street, someone, someone with decency and common sense, would have asked the question ... why? And further investigation would have revealed that not only was nothing of substance being added to the aforesaid X-mas classic, but this production could actually discourage potential viewers from watching the original, and so diminish its audience over time.
Which would be wrong on every possible level.
I am not going to tell you this film is wretched. It is not. In its 2 hour running length, it possibly has enough tropes, set pieces and clever dialog to fill ... maybe .. I am stretching here.. 20 minutes.
Gary Hudson as the Prosecutor acts on an entirely different level of magnitude from the rest of the cast and in many scenes carries the film on his back. The children are cute. There is a scene with a miniature horse which is solid, although completely out of phase with the rest of what passes for a script.
And, oh, in case you were wondering, Dean Caine plays himself, as he always does. Nice work if you can get it.