2/10
Cannibal Garbage!
25 March 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Basically I can begin by simply stating that this movie was totally abysmal. It's a slap in the face to the albeit small cannibal sub-genre that lives among horror/exploitation movies.

This movie is a total pox on what cannibal movies are supposed to be. How can this be called Cannibal Holocaust when there is not one ounce of cannibalism in it?

The movie starts off relatively OK, and it's a stock standard affair in the premise of going to the jungle region in the first place, however after 30 minutes, tedium begins to mount and you start to realise that very little, if anything, is actually going to happen.

The movie almost starts to redeem itself when the natives suddenly turn on the group of four and tie them up in various positions and set about their regimen of torture. One of the guys is pinned to the ground and they place an ants nest on him, so you prepare yourself for what you think is going to be a rather painful death, but they managed to talk their way out their predicament, he gets up, brushes off the ants and the movie continues as normal. The natives forget all about the group as they are now more interested in a tape recorder playing jungle sounds!! What the hell??

Very little of this movie actually makes any sense, and it appears to be a culmination of several half-finished scripts all thrown together. I can live with the bad acting, as this was to be expected, I can even live with the poor filming and sound quality, but for a movie that was previously "banned" you expect it to be able live up to that kind of reputation.

I gave this movie 2 stars based solely on actress Jessica Quintero who played the young native girl, Kuwala. Since I'm an Australian I thought they were calling her Koala, but in any case she was the only one who seemed to know what she was doing from the time she first showed up, and despite being naked for most of the time she was on-screen, She's really the only believable character in this drivel. Even the hammock loving villain who ordered the 3 guys to remove their pants to be threatened with castration via anaconda, seemed hardly able to maintain a straight face let-alone be capable as anything even remotely bad.

The ending made about as much sense as the rest of this abomination. The woman of the group along the guy they were looking for suddenly take off in the seaplane without a word and head back to civilisation with a vague promise she'll return for the others. By way of an epilogue, you find out that she did come back after about 2 years! The movie just makes no sense and just plods along much like a high school play.

Do yourselves a favour and avoid this movie. There are plenty of good cannibal movies out there, so get one of them instead.
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