Why is running away from problems so seductive even though it never works to solve them? What does it really take for people to change? The film Mother's Red Dress invites the viewer to explore these questions, to have an honest, unflinching dialog with ourselves and reflect on our own experiences and behaviors, and, if we are willing to do the work, shows us a path in which we can chose to triumph over our own adversity to find a place of peace and hope.
I think the film poignantly captures the crazy- making orbit and trajectory of abuse, i.e., that oh-so-personal walk through someone's head feeling and wondering if these oh-my-God- horrific experiences are real. So often experiences with abuse make us feel crazy, as if we did something wrong to cause this unfathomable crap torrent upon us. It is lived insanity and crazy-making personified, except it's not because it is real and it's happening to you and when we're children, there may not be a damn thing we can do about it. I hope the folks I know who have survived terrible abuse and incest see this film. The film touched upon some places I have traveled in my own life, and revisiting those chapters was not easy.
In the end, however, I think the main character in Mother's Red Dress is ultimately fortunate, for how often in real life do we act upon the chance to confront that which made us who we are, truly face those chapters of our stories that form our own individual constitutions, our character, however painful they may be? We cannot undo them anymore than we can UN-spill milk. Every day we make choices about the kind of person we will be in this world, even if some of us due to abusive experiences are more acutely aware of the effect we can have on others. While some may say we suffer the sins of our fathers, every single day we can chose how we respond to them and choose to build our own capacity to heal and grow and thrive.
I think the film poignantly captures the crazy- making orbit and trajectory of abuse, i.e., that oh-so-personal walk through someone's head feeling and wondering if these oh-my-God- horrific experiences are real. So often experiences with abuse make us feel crazy, as if we did something wrong to cause this unfathomable crap torrent upon us. It is lived insanity and crazy-making personified, except it's not because it is real and it's happening to you and when we're children, there may not be a damn thing we can do about it. I hope the folks I know who have survived terrible abuse and incest see this film. The film touched upon some places I have traveled in my own life, and revisiting those chapters was not easy.
In the end, however, I think the main character in Mother's Red Dress is ultimately fortunate, for how often in real life do we act upon the chance to confront that which made us who we are, truly face those chapters of our stories that form our own individual constitutions, our character, however painful they may be? We cannot undo them anymore than we can UN-spill milk. Every day we make choices about the kind of person we will be in this world, even if some of us due to abusive experiences are more acutely aware of the effect we can have on others. While some may say we suffer the sins of our fathers, every single day we can chose how we respond to them and choose to build our own capacity to heal and grow and thrive.