2/10
It's a scientific fact, folks. The sound of gun shots can make you sleepy. This movie proves it.
6 January 2011
Dull, amateurish, zombie effort about a group of militia vampires who are trying to eradicate other vampires who've become infected from drinking bad cow's blood and who are now on a rampage as "zombie vampires". The movie begins with a bunch of young people (of the vacuous type you've seen in countless horror flicks) stopping at an out-of-the-way hotel out in the woods some place (hmmm...that can't be good). What they don't know, at least right away, is that the whole area is crawling with zombie vampires and that they have in fact landed in a war zone of uninfected vampires vs. infected vampires or "zompires" (I'm calling them). The former is armed to the teeth and the latter is just running around crazy.

This movie does not want for firepower and the number of zombies running around loose. I'll say that much for it. However, I'll also say that if you spent an hour and a half tracing the lines in the palm of your hands it would be as interesting as this movie if not more so. I can only surmise that the people who made this film believe in "shooting first and writing a decent script later". I would have gladly taken half the shooting and zombies in this movie for a more interesting story of which there wasn't much beyond what I've outlined; just a bunch of heavily armed people out in the woods somewhere playing soldier vampires hunting zompires. That's the plot. As a respite from all the dull shooting and fighting, there are some EVEN DULLER, disruptive, amateurish intervals traveling back in time to explain how some of the militia vampires became vampires (Who cares!). That's like me wanting to know the life story of uninteresting people.

So there you have it. In my opinion you're better off staying home watching a couple of Tom & Jerry cartoons or playing some computer games than wasting time with this. Although there was one point in the movie (hardly sufficient to warrant you going to see it) where, in the course of explaining themselves to 2 non-vampires, the vampires were asked what they did for a living and one responded that one of them "sold stuff on Ebay". For some reason that cracked me up. And ironically, I viewed that "getting acquainted little chit-chat moment" as the best part of this dull, trigger happy film. Go figure. Love, Boloxxxi.
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