Chalk up another one in the "L" column. "Help" can't even help itself.
How do you spell B O R I N G? BtVS, Season 7.
Buffy = Dr. Phil + Jessica Fletcher = DRIVE SHARP METAL SPIKES THROUGH MY HEAD INSTEAD
(And clearly the concept of confidentiality is completely foreign to Buffyverse).
The biggest difficulty in watching BtVS now? Trying to decide which character is the most insecure.
We have Willow, whose levels of insecurity span multiple issues. (i.e. I didn't finish the Giles rehab course, so will I revert back to Dark Willow? Will my old friends ever really forgive me for having killed Warren in cold blood? Will I be strong enough to help fight that thing that's beneath us that will devour us? I'm afraid of who I was. I'm afraid of who I am. I'm afraid of who I might become. Yeah...that pretty much covers it.)
Then there's Buffy. (i.e. Can I help these high school kids because I'm not qualified/I dropped out of college? Why do my relationships never work out? Does wanting to control everything and not being able to control anything make me a bad person? Will I be able to protect Dawn until she's 108 years old? Do I have a secret death wish? Am I actually sluttier than Faith? Do people really think my nose looks funny?)
Then there's Xander. (i.e. Do I even exist? I have no super powers like the rest of my friends, other than looking a lot like the Michelin Man; how will I ever fit in -- to the bath tub? How come I have to wear clothes that look like they came from Wal-Mart? Was Willow impressed with my nail/hammer analogy? Did I turn Willow gay? Why am I oddly aroused thinking about Cassie's yeast infection? Is Anya The Vengeance Demon going to be the only woman I'll ever sleep with?)
Then there's Anya. (i.e. Did I make the right decision returning to my vengeance demon form? Will I meet my vengeance demon quota this month? Why do I still have these feelings for Xander even though he left me at the altar? Would it be OK to turn Xander into a wooden statue then mount him like a Sybian?)
Then there's Dawn. (i.e. Will my breasts develop better than this series? Will I follow in my sister's footsteps and turn into an uber slutty slayer? Are the monks really my daddies?)
Then there's Giles. (i.e. How come the Watcher Committee doesn't like me? How come I'm stuck in bloody England while all my teenage pals are in Sunnydale? Am I the British Michael Jackson? Will I ever get another acting job after this series is over?)
Then there's Spike. (i.e. WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID I EVER THINK THAT GETTING A SOUL WOULD BE SUCH A GRAND IDEA? What can I do to get Buffy to love me? What would it take to get Buffy and Dru together for a night out on the town, capped off by a kinky little menage a trois? Chip goes off...OUCH...Slaps side of head...BLOODY HELL for even THINKING about that menage a trois!!!)
And if it's possible, the only thing more annoying than the insecurity of the characters is the immaturity of the characters. Even the decision to switch the focus away from college life (i.e. which would mean that the characters actually grew up) back to high school infantalizes the entire series. Were the writers/directors/producers THAT hellbent on targeting the chronically pubescent demographic group?
Who knows? And frankly, at this point...who cares?
The actually story line of "Help"? Totally Irrelevant.
How do you spell B O R I N G? BtVS, Season 7.
Buffy = Dr. Phil + Jessica Fletcher = DRIVE SHARP METAL SPIKES THROUGH MY HEAD INSTEAD
(And clearly the concept of confidentiality is completely foreign to Buffyverse).
The biggest difficulty in watching BtVS now? Trying to decide which character is the most insecure.
We have Willow, whose levels of insecurity span multiple issues. (i.e. I didn't finish the Giles rehab course, so will I revert back to Dark Willow? Will my old friends ever really forgive me for having killed Warren in cold blood? Will I be strong enough to help fight that thing that's beneath us that will devour us? I'm afraid of who I was. I'm afraid of who I am. I'm afraid of who I might become. Yeah...that pretty much covers it.)
Then there's Buffy. (i.e. Can I help these high school kids because I'm not qualified/I dropped out of college? Why do my relationships never work out? Does wanting to control everything and not being able to control anything make me a bad person? Will I be able to protect Dawn until she's 108 years old? Do I have a secret death wish? Am I actually sluttier than Faith? Do people really think my nose looks funny?)
Then there's Xander. (i.e. Do I even exist? I have no super powers like the rest of my friends, other than looking a lot like the Michelin Man; how will I ever fit in -- to the bath tub? How come I have to wear clothes that look like they came from Wal-Mart? Was Willow impressed with my nail/hammer analogy? Did I turn Willow gay? Why am I oddly aroused thinking about Cassie's yeast infection? Is Anya The Vengeance Demon going to be the only woman I'll ever sleep with?)
Then there's Anya. (i.e. Did I make the right decision returning to my vengeance demon form? Will I meet my vengeance demon quota this month? Why do I still have these feelings for Xander even though he left me at the altar? Would it be OK to turn Xander into a wooden statue then mount him like a Sybian?)
Then there's Dawn. (i.e. Will my breasts develop better than this series? Will I follow in my sister's footsteps and turn into an uber slutty slayer? Are the monks really my daddies?)
Then there's Giles. (i.e. How come the Watcher Committee doesn't like me? How come I'm stuck in bloody England while all my teenage pals are in Sunnydale? Am I the British Michael Jackson? Will I ever get another acting job after this series is over?)
Then there's Spike. (i.e. WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID I EVER THINK THAT GETTING A SOUL WOULD BE SUCH A GRAND IDEA? What can I do to get Buffy to love me? What would it take to get Buffy and Dru together for a night out on the town, capped off by a kinky little menage a trois? Chip goes off...OUCH...Slaps side of head...BLOODY HELL for even THINKING about that menage a trois!!!)
And if it's possible, the only thing more annoying than the insecurity of the characters is the immaturity of the characters. Even the decision to switch the focus away from college life (i.e. which would mean that the characters actually grew up) back to high school infantalizes the entire series. Were the writers/directors/producers THAT hellbent on targeting the chronically pubescent demographic group?
Who knows? And frankly, at this point...who cares?
The actually story line of "Help"? Totally Irrelevant.