Ghoul School (1990 Video)
1/10
Go to the bottom of the class.
28 July 2009
Repetitive quips about chlorine; endless scenes of mullet-wearing jocks failing to shoot basketball hoops; a metal band who only play one tune and whose supposedly great singer seems to have forgotten his lyrics; a confused looking TV chat show host and a desperately unfunny comedian (played convincingly by a confused looking TV chat show host and a desperately unfunny comedian) exchanging crap one-liners; and a geek with a strange lower lip: this is just some of the inane garbage to be found in Ghoul School—quite simply, one of the lamest excuses for a horror comedy that I have ever had the misfortune to see (and I've seen quite a few).

This dreadful film opens with a pair of losers busting their way into the basement of a school, where they try to force the janitor to reveal the whereabouts of.... err... well, actually, I have no idea what it is they are after, but they don't find it. After shooting the janitor for his lack of co-operation, the pair locate a hidden room in which they discover a control panel with two big buttons, one of which they decide to push; this releases chemicals into the school's water supply, turning anyone unfortunate enough to come in contact with the contaminated H20 into slavering, blue, pointy toothed monsters hungry for human flesh.

Clearly aware of the clumsy, derivative, and totally nonsensical nature of his own poorly constructed script (a muddled blend of Return Of The Living Dead and Demons), writer/director Timothy O'Rawe doesn't waste any energy trying to deliver genuine laughs or scares, preferring instead to chance his luck with the 'let's make this so bad, it might get a cult following' route. The gamble doesn't pay off: this is so bad, it's unbearable, and is unlikely to find a following even amongst the craziest of horror fans.

Avoid.
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