10/10
The World's Oldest Profession
29 May 2009
Published anonymously in the early days of last century, the alleged memoirs of Viennese courtesan Josefine Mutzenbacher ("as told by herself") are rightfully considered as classic erotic literature. Erotic, yes, since as soon as a cultural pedigree's attached to masturbatory material – the novel has been attributed to Austrian children's author Felix Salten who wrote "Bambi" and "Perri", both adapted by Disney ! – it turns erotic rather than just plain pornographic. Surely the latter would be a more accurate description for Mutzenbacher's non-stop detailed accounts of amorous exploits, littered with close to 400 (yes, someone actually bothered to count !) synonyms for the male member. Kurt Nachmann's soft-core adaptation from 1970, starring subsequent TV mainstay Christine Schuberth, proved popular enough to spawn an equally successful sequel. When hardcore became legally available and socially acceptable in German-speaking countries, it was time to return to the source for producer Gunter Otto who had been dabbling in saucy sex comedies of the LIEBESGRÜSSE AUS DER LEDERHOSE variety. This time, the concept would sprout wings and soar. Box office was booming. It was as if the porn-hungry public breathed a collective sigh of relief now that their explicit entertainment had been spruced up with elaborate period costumes and the artistic credibility supplied by its liberally adapted literary origins, not unlike the effect the Mitchell Brothers had achieved with their AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FLEA.

A veteran of simulated sex farces like DIE JUNGFRAUEN VON BUMSHAUSEN a/k/a RUN, VIRGIN, RUN and the Sybil Danning starring DAS MÄDCHEN MIT DER HEISSEN MASCHE a/k/a LOVES OF A FRENCH PUSSYCAT, director Hans Billian (who died a couple of years ago) was already pushing 60 when he instigated a series of intimate cinematic explorations of his gorgeous girlfriend Patricia Rhomberg, then in her early twenties. A dedicated medical assistant who would return to the profession following their break-up, she transcended all possible accusations of nepotism through commanding screen presence and considerable thespian prowess supplementing her ample physical charms. Although she would sadly essay the plum role of Josefine Mutzenbacher only one, supplanted by a variety of dirty movie damsels (amongst whom the delightful Uschi Karnat a/k/a "Sandra Nova" rates as the most memorable) on subsequent sequels, she remains the definitive interpreter of the part for the majority of adult aficionados.

Looking back on a life filled with richly rewarded copulation, fancy prostitute Josefine Mutzenbacher relates her humble beginnings. Watching hunky beer delivery man Horak (beefy blond Siggi Buchner, who would return in several of the sequels and bid his fornication film farewell with Walter Molitor's INSIDE MARILYN in 1985) plow into her inn keeper neighbor Frau Rheintaler, a voluptuous middle-aged blonde familiar from early '70s Tabu loops, stirs hitherto unknown feelings in our wide-eyed 17 year old heroine who quickly decides she must have Horak for herself. He will prove but the first in a long line of casual conquests that take young Josefine to the pinnacle of her profession. Getting a little too close to her precocious stepbrother and supplying early morning relief for lodger Eckhard (Sepp Gneissl, who was in Billian's ROSEMARIES SCHLECKERLAND) gets her into the kind of trouble she has to go and confess to the local priest (former TV thespian Peter Holzmüller, also in Billian's BIENENSTICH IM LIEBESNEST, and fairly obviously body doubled for his sex scene), whose easily ignited passions allow for the obligatory stab at the clergy, common to pornography penned prior to World War II.

The untimely death of her mother leaves Josefine to take her place in the bed of her stepfather, indelibly portrayed by the already mature Frithjof Klausen, who would still turn up a decade later in Michel Barny's TERESA THE WOMAN WHO LOVES MEN ! The build-up to this undoubtedly frowned upon "transgression" makes for titillation of the most exquisite kind, from dad's drunk admiration of the sleeping girl's naked form to furtive caresses and way beyond. Unfortunately for the inter-generational love birds, their new boarder finds out and blackmails them into a sexual free for all with seasoned prostitute Zenzi, a rare hardcore appearance by Marie-France Morel from Jean Rollin's TOUT LE MONDE IL EN A DEUX. It's the latter's chosen career that starts putting ideas in young Josefine's head…

Though sequels would prove progressively lavish in accordance with their impressive box office takes, none of them could convincingly recapture the charm and good-natured depravity of the original. Much of this is down to Rhomberg, who approaches each carnal obstacle on her "road to ruin" with curiosity and infectious enthusiasm. The movie looks good, capably photographed by Otto, but lacks the elaborate crowd scenes that were to become the series' staple ingredient. There's an appropriately jaunty Wiener Kaffee soundtrack by Dave Apfelbaum. Credits are sparse but Josefine's best friend Maresi is played by Birgit Zamulo who was in Johnny Wyder's EIN GUTER HAHN WIRD SELTEN FETT a/k/a ALL AROUND SERVICE and the chubby blond model with the photographer is Christine Szenetra, star of several SCHOOLGIRL REPORTS. The Mutzenbacher series would continue well into the '90s with Otto still churning out modern dress installments, changing the subtitle to WIE SIE HEUTE WAR ("as she would be now"), before turning his attentions towards Johanna Spyri's squeaky clean mountain chick Heidi for the remainder of the last millennium.
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