WOW. Where do we begin? It's been ages since I have seen a film of such poor quality, so much so that the many parts of the whole have come together to form a movie so insipid, so completely devoid of merit that only a team of evil geniuses, locked away in an isolated mountain fortress, driven mad by loneliness, despair, and bad TV sitcoms could have ever created such an atrocity.
So, the film opens with a a lengthy, completely unnecessary monologue by Chun-Li that is supposed to set the story and give neophytes into the Street Fighter saga some background into her life. Great. This part proceeds with the pacing and depth of a newbie film student's freshman project, and is completely unremarkable. WHat is TRULY terrible, however, is that she NEVER SHUTS UP! Usually a narration is present to help you discern elements of a story that you might otherwise miss, such as a character's thoughts and feelings...but when she goes on and on talking about everything that you the viewer are already seeing on screen, well...someone was definitely trying to pad their script.
Oh yeah, the script...let's talk about that for a little bit, shall we? Right from the get-go, you are amazed at the flat, base dialog that would only impress those who had just discovered the joys of reading - the speech is flat, stilted, and poorly acted by all in the cast. M. Bison's entry into the early set was particularly painful to listen to, and Balrog's cheesy entrance into the scene was so god-awful that I was actually pining for the time when he held a video camera as Chun-Li's cameraman back in 94! Oh, and let's talk about one plot point that just angered me off from the get-go: M. Bison's origin. So, supposedly, in order to drive out his "conscience," (which is supposed to make him more powerful? Heh...okay...) he must rip his unborn daughter from her mother's womb in a spooky cave where evil spirits dwell.
Huh. Riiiight.
Now, it's bad enough that they made up such a stupid plot point to begin with, but can someone please explain something to me: just how is it that M. Bison could have actually even HAD a conscience in the first place if he was willing to go through with killing his wife and ripping out his daughter from her womb? Further, HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL?! ...
...
...
...yeah. It's a lot of this "I stole these plot ideas from my ten year old son" crap throughout the whole film.
Oh, and if anyone EVER defends Chris Klein as an actor after this film, they lose all credibility...not just as a film critic, but as a human being with ANY opinion whatsoever. My God...that man brings suck to a previously unheard of level that actually elevates Sci-Fi channel original movie D-listers...
How's this for a succinct clincher: Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li actually gives Manos: the Hands of Fate some healthy competition for worst film ever.
So, the film opens with a a lengthy, completely unnecessary monologue by Chun-Li that is supposed to set the story and give neophytes into the Street Fighter saga some background into her life. Great. This part proceeds with the pacing and depth of a newbie film student's freshman project, and is completely unremarkable. WHat is TRULY terrible, however, is that she NEVER SHUTS UP! Usually a narration is present to help you discern elements of a story that you might otherwise miss, such as a character's thoughts and feelings...but when she goes on and on talking about everything that you the viewer are already seeing on screen, well...someone was definitely trying to pad their script.
Oh yeah, the script...let's talk about that for a little bit, shall we? Right from the get-go, you are amazed at the flat, base dialog that would only impress those who had just discovered the joys of reading - the speech is flat, stilted, and poorly acted by all in the cast. M. Bison's entry into the early set was particularly painful to listen to, and Balrog's cheesy entrance into the scene was so god-awful that I was actually pining for the time when he held a video camera as Chun-Li's cameraman back in 94! Oh, and let's talk about one plot point that just angered me off from the get-go: M. Bison's origin. So, supposedly, in order to drive out his "conscience," (which is supposed to make him more powerful? Heh...okay...) he must rip his unborn daughter from her mother's womb in a spooky cave where evil spirits dwell.
Huh. Riiiight.
Now, it's bad enough that they made up such a stupid plot point to begin with, but can someone please explain something to me: just how is it that M. Bison could have actually even HAD a conscience in the first place if he was willing to go through with killing his wife and ripping out his daughter from her womb? Further, HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL?! ...
...
...
...yeah. It's a lot of this "I stole these plot ideas from my ten year old son" crap throughout the whole film.
Oh, and if anyone EVER defends Chris Klein as an actor after this film, they lose all credibility...not just as a film critic, but as a human being with ANY opinion whatsoever. My God...that man brings suck to a previously unheard of level that actually elevates Sci-Fi channel original movie D-listers...
How's this for a succinct clincher: Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun-Li actually gives Manos: the Hands of Fate some healthy competition for worst film ever.