Firewalker (1986)
2/10
Walking on fire...
7 August 2006
Chuck Norris and Louis Gossett Jr star as two adventurers who find themselves running after the "Firewalker" which leads to a cave of huge treasures (Which look like brass) and along the way they are joined by a nutty blonde (Melody Anderson) who hires them out to help find the cave. While Sonny Landham stars as a big buff Native American with an eye-patch that switches eyes (Which then vanishes altogether in the climax) who is "El Coyote" the main villain of the peace. Firewalker was awful back in 1986 and is even worse now. The sets are laughably unconvincing and because the movie is PG it lacks R rated action. Worst of all is that it tries to be comedy and Norris is too humorless to make the transition. Louis Gossett Jr overacts and Melody Anderson gives a typically moronic performance (Remember she was the worst thing in Flash Gordon) and it basically is a dull rip off of the vastly superior Romancing The Stone. (We will not even compare this to Raiders Of The Lost Ark) The only good thing about the movie is, uh, the way a guy throws himself off a cliff after seeing "Firewalker" That was priceless in its unintentional hilarity.

* out of 4-(Bad) (And i'm being generous...)
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