Review of Umizaru

Umizaru (2004)
3/10
Can't believe this has scored so highly!
13 June 2006
I think the only reason this has got an anywhere decent score is because it isn't American. If something this by-the-numbers, and cheap looking came out of Hollywood it would be rightly slated, but for some reason, being Japanese excuses this? This film offers NOTHING original, it's an obvious linear plot that only someone very young, or someone who doesn't watch many films couldn't preguess everything that happens.

It's about a guy training to join the Japanese coast guard, he gets teamed up with the well-meaning screw up and thus gets the bad end of the stick in every competition. He rallies his friend to not give-up blah blah, and so it continues. The opening scene is an unbelievably obvious attempt to set up a finale that will tug the heart strings, but is just sentimental embarrassment.

The first time I saw this, it was on Japanese TV and I couldn't understand the dialogue, but the story is SOOO obvious it didn't matter in the slightest. The sequel and the TV spin-off are typical cash-in projects, and I don't imagine there'll ever be plans to release this internationally even though it was a massive hit in Japan. It's almost one of those so-bad-it's-good gems, but the reviews seriously calling it a good film are way off.
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