2/10
Hey, Dig That Crazy Carnival of Monsters
13 March 2006
Adamson presents: Vorkov (who?) as Dracula! Bloom as the Monster! (check out "The Dark"/'79 for a similar role); Naish as the mad scientist! Chaney as the, uh, mad axe murderer! Rossitto as...the mad dwarf! When the credits start, this resembles the old-time Universal monster pictures of the 1930's and 40's, mostly due to the old-fashioned musical score, but when I saw the whole movie as a kid, at about 12 years of age, it did creep me out. I think, because of the low budget, it had a reality factor of 'too close to home for comfort' as if it was all taking place in the next town and pretty soon all these creeps were gonna come over to my town and mess with me. There are those lengthy sequences focusing on $50 lab sets with lights flashing meant to impress us and you may laugh, but then you hear the cop (Davis, better known to "Dallas" TV fans) philosophizing about how some victims ask for bad stuff to happen to them based on his 20 years experience and you may think, hm - who wrote that? I also had to laugh when Naish describes the obvious lunatic Chaney as harmless to some guests, then sends him to chop people up in the next scene...but we knew that.

Naish, in a wheelchair, has the lion's share of dialogue in this one, much of which consists of lengthy monologues regarding his mad theories (sure, he speaks to Chaney but Chaney's character is mute and just stands there looking bestial). If I grasped this Dr.Frankenstein's thinking correctly, it involves causing sudden death, such as decapitation, then reviving the dead subject somehow, and creating a rare blood mixture as a result. See, I was paying attention. The mad doctor conducts his little experiments using a carnival horror show as a front. Regina Carrol, fresh from Adamson's "Satan's Sadists," is a Vegas showgirl searching for her sister (one of Chaney's victims). Eisley is the hip older dude who ends up helping her in-between long walks on the beach, where all the murders occur. Tamblyn pops up briefly (also from "Satan's Sadists") as another lowlife biker. As one may guess, the cops appear quite useless and all the hippies in the area are preoccupied with protests rather than some horrific murders.

This nutty pic is a product of its time, capping off the 'with-it' relevant sixties with some irrelevant goofy creatures. So what about Dracula and Frankenstein's Monster? They're here, too. Dracula actually digs up the mashed-potato-monster and then makes some pact with Naish. In this version, the vampire's voice sounds electronically enhanced and he uses a ring to burn things (and people - dig that crazy animation). Also, did you know that the Monster's life cycle was linked to the passing of a comet? Yes, it's true! - according to Dracula (where do they get this stuff?). And the two title characters do indeed fight it out at the end. Famous fan Ackerman shows up as another victim, obligingly walking into the Monster's deadly grasp. With all this going on, one might wonder why this gets only 2 stars from me. Well, getting back to, for example, those long walks on the beach: these are really...long...walks...on...the...beach. Know what I mean?
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