Hoodwinked! (2005)
5/10
Far from "Incredible"
16 February 2006
Ever since the success of "The Incredibles" (a children's film that takes the bold and innovative step of respecting kids enough to NOT rely solely on fart jokes and bathroom humor for cheap laughs), animated filmmakers have been scrambling to copy Brad Bird and Pixar's format. The basic idea is to have inside jokes that kids won't get but that adults can appreciate ("Shrek 2"), while at the same time appealing to the young folks with an easy to follow plot and stunning animation.

And the makers of "Hoodwinked" try, really they do. It's just that the writing, which is supposed to be clever and sharp, ultimately fails miserably at both. The idea (the "REAL" story behind Little Red Riding Hood, which is almost surely already a book somewhere) is a good one, but the plot comes across confusing and scatter-shot. None of the main characters' back stories are interesting enough to follow; kids may get a kick out of an overly caffeinated chipmunk named Twitchy, but almost all of the other grand attempts at humor (hmm...a German Woodsman selling Schnitzel...these folks really ARE in-step with today's typical elementary school banter, huh?) fall completely flat.

Which brings us to the characters, another major problem with the movie. It is unwritten Hollywood law that all animated films have at least one highly adorable character if for no other reason than to sell a few toys (heck, even a mediocrity like 'Chicken Little' has the oddly endearing "Fish out of Water"). Not only do the makers of "Hoodwinked" fail to come up with one such marketable character, they create a cast that is largely unlikeable. In "Hoodwinked" we have an overly wry "Big Bad Wolf", an overwhelmingly unfunny Woodsman, a stereotypical 'wild' Granny, and a salt-of-the earth Little Red Riding Hood who comes across as though she belts back a shot of scotch and chain smokes each morning before heading to her nine-to-fiver. Detective Bill Stork is almost painful to watch both because of the bad fake accent and yawn-a-minute Sherlock Holmes impersonation.

The film gets a 5 out of 10 because it isn't blatantly offensive, but it is most definitely unfunny for adults and for any kid possessing at least the worldly sophistication of a six-year-old. You may as well rent it if your cable has been shut off and a winter storm is approaching, but don't go out of your way to find it, either.
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