My Tuesday started off like most, wake up, shower, eat a balanced breakfast and head to work. My day was somewhat routine, no ups or downs, just......typical. I left work a little stressed and while driving home, I got a flat tire and was forced into 30 minutes of extra work that I had not intended. I got home late, and then attempted to wind down. What would I do? Watch some TV? Eat a snack and take a nap? "Hey man, do you wanna watch this movie, The Ghouls?" my roommate asked. "Hmmmmmmmm" I thought, this could be a pretty good idea.
Man was I right! I quickly forgot about the ills of my day quite quickly as I was cast into a world of depravity and horrible film-making. I was blown away at all the talent bursting from the seems in this picture, from the A+ acting, to the directing, most likely helmed by a retarded 7 year old, or the inane pacing that made my life feel so much better than anyone else's associated with this movie.
It's a really comforting feeling to seek satisfaction through the misfortune of others. Kind of like watching someone fall and spill their drink on themselves. This movie was like watching a really arrogant skate boarding teen brag to his friends about the 720 he's sure to pull off, only to break his face on the unforgiving pavement.
I cherish the thought that I may ever get the chance to meet the makers of this film, perhaps at a low caliber festival they are sure to play, so I get the opportunity to belittle their amateur efforts. Hey I'll even make my own festival and fly them right to me just for that chance.
You remember when you were a child and you wanted to do something that your Father said you weren't old enough for, like hold your new baby cousin, or help carve the Thanksgiving turkey? All to spare you the obvious misfortune of failing. Well Father Filmmaker should have told everyone involved that "You are not old enough, mature enough, competent enough or talented enough to make this movie". The childish filmmakers would have sighed "Awwwwwww but I want to!" and then stomped their feet as they left the room. But it would have spared them the massive rejection that they must be feeling now.
If I had tried to ride a bike for the first time and bailed as badly as this, I surely would have learned to jump rope instead. Makers of The Ghouls: Please for the love of anything decent and proper; seek another form of employment, because you will only get hurt if you continue. Film-making doesn't like you.
Man was I right! I quickly forgot about the ills of my day quite quickly as I was cast into a world of depravity and horrible film-making. I was blown away at all the talent bursting from the seems in this picture, from the A+ acting, to the directing, most likely helmed by a retarded 7 year old, or the inane pacing that made my life feel so much better than anyone else's associated with this movie.
It's a really comforting feeling to seek satisfaction through the misfortune of others. Kind of like watching someone fall and spill their drink on themselves. This movie was like watching a really arrogant skate boarding teen brag to his friends about the 720 he's sure to pull off, only to break his face on the unforgiving pavement.
I cherish the thought that I may ever get the chance to meet the makers of this film, perhaps at a low caliber festival they are sure to play, so I get the opportunity to belittle their amateur efforts. Hey I'll even make my own festival and fly them right to me just for that chance.
You remember when you were a child and you wanted to do something that your Father said you weren't old enough for, like hold your new baby cousin, or help carve the Thanksgiving turkey? All to spare you the obvious misfortune of failing. Well Father Filmmaker should have told everyone involved that "You are not old enough, mature enough, competent enough or talented enough to make this movie". The childish filmmakers would have sighed "Awwwwwww but I want to!" and then stomped their feet as they left the room. But it would have spared them the massive rejection that they must be feeling now.
If I had tried to ride a bike for the first time and bailed as badly as this, I surely would have learned to jump rope instead. Makers of The Ghouls: Please for the love of anything decent and proper; seek another form of employment, because you will only get hurt if you continue. Film-making doesn't like you.