Sheena (1984)
3/10
Downhill All the Way from the Credits
30 April 2005
The best thing about "Sheena" is its opening title sequence. Accompanied by an evocative musical score, a beautiful blonde girl dressed only in a sort of leather bikini rides on the back of a zebra across a dramatic African landscape. (OK, it's really a horse painted as a zebra). Unfortunately, from here on it is downhill all the way. The title character is a sort of female Tarzan, a white girl orphaned as a baby and raised by an African tribe. The plot tells how Sheena, helped by an American journalist, battles against a tyrannical ruler who has usurped power by murdering his brother. Her main asset in this struggle is her ability to communicate telepathically with animals and to persuade them to come to her assistance.

This film has two things going for it. The first is Richard Hartley's music, reminiscent of Vangelis's score for "Chariots of Fire" and worthy of a much better film than this one. The second is the striking good looks of its heroine Tanya Roberts which were clearly the reason why she was cast in the part. Her acting talents, however, are striking only by their absence, although to be fair to her the same could be said of the rest of the cast. The one exception, surprisingly, is Elizabeth of Toro as the tribe's shaman responsible for Sheena's upbringing. She was a member of the Ugandan royal family, exiled by the regime of Idi Amin, who worked as both a diplomat and a model and who only made one film other than this one, but who seems more convincing than any of the professional actors on display.

Trying to list all the goofs and plot holes in this film would be like shooting fish in a barrel, but would be pointless because it was clearly made as a fantasy and was never supposed to have any great connection to real life. (Although if you are going to paint a horse like a zebra, you should remember that zebras have striped manes and tails, not pure white ones as shown here). A fantasy only works, however, when we are able to suspend our disbelief, something we never manage to do here. There are some ludicrous scenes; the one where a flock of flamingos summoned by Sheena manages to bring down a helicopter is particularly noteworthy both because of its inherent unlikelihood and because of its unconvincing special effects. This is not a film we ever care about; the best that can be said for it is that it is simply an undemanding way of spending two hours. It is, however, worthwhile watching a bad film like this one from time to time, if only to increase one's appreciation of the good ones. 3/10
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