Review of Dark Waters

Dark Waters (2003 Video)
5/10
Could be improved by dubbing it into a language I don't speak
13 September 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I've watched this movie about four times now. Why? Because Simmone Mackinnon puts on a wet T-shirt show throughout almost the entire movie. And I've hated it every time.

**SPOILERS**

The plot revolves around a secret government research project (run by Lamas' father) involving killer sharks. The research lab is located aboard a submarine, and through completely unbelievable circumstances, Lamas and Mackinnon wind up on the sub.

The biggest problem is the characters - they're utterly detestable. I don't care if they're lying, cheating thieves; those I count as endearing qualities. What I can't stand is the fact that they're so incredibly conceited, like a couple of self worshiping, petty school children. Mackinnon was really lousy in Deep Shock and she's really lousy in this as well. Lamas also manages to reach a new low.

The other gigantic problem is that the lead characters become mass murderers towards the end. Lamas' father, the project leader for creating killer sharks, has decided that the project isn't going to be successful. So he decides to wipe out all data from the project, so it won't be continued. However, with the laboratory located on a submarine, wiping out all the data apparently requires killing everyone aboard. The astute viewer may have noticed that there are lots of people on submarines, even the ones that don't have secret shark research facilities on board. That's because the vast majority of those people are involved with keeping the submarine running - they don't have any connection to secret projects. Yet, with the help of Lamas and Mackinnon, they are all killed. In fact, if one were to really pay attention, you'll notice the father would have killed his son, if not for the totally unbelievable escape they make after he's sabotaged the ship.

But of course that isn't enough for this movie. After the death a hundred or so sailors, most of whom were guilty of nothing more than some terrible over acting, Lamas makes a speech about how he gained so much character from his father.

Oh brother. This is just about the dumbest thing you're ever likely to see.

The submarine keeps springing leaks which spurt out like someone holding a shower nozzle up to Mackinnon's T-shirt. That's the intelligent part of the movie.
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