How do movies like this get made? Seriously, someone tell me. I think I know: when you take the average of the masses, it always equals absolute stupidity. So when bigwig producers decide on film projects, they're forced to select the sorriest excuses for "scripts" and bring them to pathetic life for all to enjoy. *gag* Then we package them and sell them to the confederacy of dunces. "The New Guy" is a waste of thousands of dollars and countless hours of time of all those involved. The resulting product is probably the biggest piece of cinematic waste since "Lone Star State of Mind." It never ceases to amaze me how low people will go when greenlighting movie projects. Is it me or are they going lower and lower each year? There is no story here. It has no message, it has no purpose, it has no value or memorable characters or dialogue, no redeeming qualities. "But it's a comedy!" you say. Well there's certainly no laughs, either...for any educated person, that is. The laughs in this film are scant at best, mostly nonexistent, and downright inane. From a comedic standpoint, it misfires on just about every possible cylinder. The comedy in this movie is equivalent to the same "Three Stooges" episode on its 1,000th loop. How many times can one laugh at DJ Qualls falling or hurtin himself? How many times can one laugh at countless stereotypes? Plenty, if you're 10 years of age or of equal mindset. If this is supposed to be a "comedy," and fails this miserably, what are we left with? Mucus. Green mucus. And lots of it. I have an idea. Why doesn't everyone in America get a college degree so we can bring the average IQ up a few notches. That way, the movies we produce will (hopefully) improve. I pray Ed Decter will stay out of Texas and make his lame movies elsewhere. As for the writer: try harder. Shame on you for making this movie.
Review of The New Guy
