Sometimes I'm a sucker for a romantic movie, more rarely, when the black mood takes me, I want to rip out the protagonists innards and dance on them. Yesterday was such a day. I finished watching this movie which I'd started watching a few days ago, back when I was of the opinion that romantic movies were just lovely. I have two major bones to pick with the entire oevre and they both relate to the same basic concept, the indoctrination of helpless saps like me with bullshit romantic shite like this.
1. Being a helpless girlie who's just a little bit crazy and whines about how hard her life is will not cause all men within a hundred foot radius to fall in love with you no matter how perky your nose/breasts are.
2. That thing! That thing with the meeting and the moon eyes and the first date sex and the brief comedy misunderstanding leading to the immediate reunion and forgiveness cause you're just both so much in tune. It doesn't happen! And if it does why does it never happen to me!? I hate to be a cynic but I am one of those people that thinks if Romeo and Juliet hadn't offed themselves they probably wouldn't have lasted a year.
It's not that I want to believe that. I wasn't born cynical, I was turned. I am a bitter romantic. I went out into the world all doe-eyed and hopeful and offered myself up on the bloody alter of love and rather unsurprisingly, I got butchered. I wasn't prepared. They should make you watch Witness and that Jennifer Connelly movie with the double ended dildo and The Ice Storm before you hit puberty instead of crap like this.
1. Being a helpless girlie who's just a little bit crazy and whines about how hard her life is will not cause all men within a hundred foot radius to fall in love with you no matter how perky your nose/breasts are.
2. That thing! That thing with the meeting and the moon eyes and the first date sex and the brief comedy misunderstanding leading to the immediate reunion and forgiveness cause you're just both so much in tune. It doesn't happen! And if it does why does it never happen to me!? I hate to be a cynic but I am one of those people that thinks if Romeo and Juliet hadn't offed themselves they probably wouldn't have lasted a year.
It's not that I want to believe that. I wasn't born cynical, I was turned. I am a bitter romantic. I went out into the world all doe-eyed and hopeful and offered myself up on the bloody alter of love and rather unsurprisingly, I got butchered. I wasn't prepared. They should make you watch Witness and that Jennifer Connelly movie with the double ended dildo and The Ice Storm before you hit puberty instead of crap like this.