Tree Horror in Darkest Twickenham.
27 December 2003
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS INCLUDED

The Woman Eater was one of two cheap and cheerful horror films made by the producer-director duo of Guido Coen and Charles Saunders who usually specialised in second feature crime thrillers. The teams initial venture into this territory, The Man Without a Body is sadly a bore despite a plot which features Nostradamus' severed head being brought back to life and concludes with a mini-rampage from a monster that resembles a tall man with a pillow case on his head. Opening with location defining shots of the Thames, their second attempt at the genre is an equally ludicrous but much more fun and spirited example of B-movie horror. At the ‘explorer's club' Dr James Moran (George Coulouris, the lead in both the Saunders-Coen horrors) entertains young associate Colin with the tale of a tribe that can bring the dead back to life. Ignoring warnings that insanity runs in the Moran family, Colin joins the doctor on a trek to the Amazon cost cuttingly evoked by stock footage and a few jungle sets at Twickenham studios. Stumbling across the tribe performing a black magic ceremony involving a woman being fed to a monster tree, Colin makes an ill-fated attempt to halt the proceedings (`stop you devils') and ends up with a spear in the chest for his troubles. Moran is later found babbling and suffering from jungle fever.

Five years later Moran has decamped to a sleepy village in England where hidden in his basement lies the bizarre spectacle of Tanga (Jimmy Vaughan) one of the tribe, hypnotizing various women in order to feed them to the monster tree. (Best not to question how Moran got both a tribesman and a carnivorous tree from the Amazon to provincial England without anyone noticing, especially say customs). Moran eases his conscience by ranting ‘she'll become part of the plant, she won't have died in vain' convinced the tree's juices can bring the dead back to life. ‘With this our people make live…the dead… master' remarks Tanga in his broken ‘native' English, a theory demonstrated by Moran injecting the juices into a pulsing heart which he keeps in a jar. In his search for tree food –the preferred victims being buxom women- Moran takes a furtive walk around Piccadilly Circus and Soho, ignoring prostitutes in favour of following a woman to a crummy late night watering hole. After he buys her a drink she asks him if he's a talent spotter for the movies then jadedly adds ‘all men are talent spotters in one way or another'. Soon after she's thrown to the monster tree who sports some barely mobile vines and oven glove like claws, the surreal effect suggests a man who has disguised himself as a Christmas tree in order to grope a passing starlet.

Despite a brief running time of 71 minutes and a plot that drafts in a zombie woman on top of a monster tree and a mad doctor The Woman Eater does contain a fair deal of padding and plot diversions that hasn't endeared the film to many critics over the years. In fairness these moments aren't completely without interest though. 50's pin-up Vera Day a kind of proto Barbara Windsor, plays the heroine, an ex-hula hula dancer whose appearance in the village turns the heads of both the local mechanic and the mad doctor. ‘As a scientist I'm more interested in things with six legs rather than two' proclaims Moran at one point but soon changes his mind when he hires Vera to look after his house. Given their Butchers films backgrounds its no surprise that Coen and Saunders also have a tendency to dwell on the police investigation side of things with the forces of law and order quaintly represented by village detectives who wear trench coats and smoke pipes and a cheery copper who gets about on a pushbike. Saunders' chief claim to fame is that he would later direct Britain's first nudist camp film Nudist Paradise (1958) which was still playing in London as late as 1967 and also wound up as a visual gag in a Carry On film, while Coen would end his career producing sex comedies. You can see slight hints of what was to come in The Woman Eater, Coen and Saunders seem to enjoy flirting with salacious sights that never actually materialise, the heroine is introduced hula-hula dancing at a carnival as a barker promises we'll see ‘south sea island belles…all for a bob' and an advert for a West End play called Nude with Violin is used in a almost subliminal message way. Slightly more risqué is one of the film's few scenes played for a comedy in which Vera helps her mechanic boyfriend mend a car only for him to become distracted by staring at her chest. Less the censor suspect the hero (or the cameraman for that matter) is meant to be having amoral thoughts about Miss Day, moments later he's doing the honest thing and asking her to marry him, even though they've only ever met three times. It could all of course play on Sunday afternoon television today without anyone raising so much as an eyebrow but this was what a British exploitation film looked like in 1957. The Woman Eater also anticipates many a home-grown horror effort (usually the ones starring Michael Gough) in which dedicated mad doctors become distracted by something blond, half their age and in a tight sweater, leaving their repressed middle aged housekeeper fuming with envy and putting the spanner in the works that eventually causes everything to (literally) go up in smoke.
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