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Reviews
Chest (2022)
Middling
This is my second time typing this, which is annoying.
They should have cut the first scene, or moved it, because I almost tuned out, thinking I was going to be subjected to an entire flick with hillbilly cops. I wasn't about to listen to THAT for long. It could have been placed before the final interrogation scene. That cost it a few stars from my point of view.
The acting, for the most part, is fine - well, besides the opening scene.
Question...the "cult" guy in the pick-up, near the end, uses his cell phone - I guess he has driven far enough from the cave/mineshaft? I never saw the fictional crew ever try to use theirs, but I could have missed it.
"Jeff" just disappears from the proceedings - I probably would have handled that differently.
There is apparently a "meta" sequel called "Jeffery's Hell" - in which the actual director of THIS film goes missing during production. Hm, maybe I'll check that one out. It's only in film festival screenings at this point - you can find the trailer.
Overall, worth a watch.
Fantasy Island (2020)
Pointless take on a 70s TV classic
Although the original TV movie/pilot in the 70s had a dark side, by the second pilot, it had been softened. And of course, the series became quite innocuous. I didn't watch the one-season (98-99) "reboot," but enjoyed the recent Fox TV follow-up.
Did anyone really need a "horror" version from Blumhouse? And with several incredibly annoying characters?
The casting isn't the greatest.
The plot is ridiculous, and actually quite boring.
I give the flick one star for production value, even though the budget was only $7 million. (It made $49 million upon initial release, so it wasn't technically a bomb.) Plus, you can't rate zero stars.
Nominated for five "Razzies."
The conclusion is a convoluted hot mess.
Skip it.
Eyes in the Dark (2010)
Yet another in the long list
Very few manage to "get" the found footage genre to work as anything more than a copy-cat film - a carbon copy of everything that has come before.
This entry has the usual tropes. Nothing new to see here. Well, except for comical "red-eyed" creatures, who look like Halloween costumes.
The usual obnoxious twenty-somethings. Doing stupid things.
MANY unnecessary scenes. The whole "university/college professor" prelude is cutting room floor material.
I'll admit to being on a binge, regarding the genre, and most of it is just derivative.
It's obvious that a found footage flick requires people filming everything, even in the most illogical circumstances. But there are times when a scene just needs to be cut, due to distraction. Everyone watching surely yells, "WHY would they be filming THAT?!"
The Dark Tapes (2016)
Awful
I watch a LOT of the found footage genre, and this is definitely in the bottom five.
It's very low budget, with some extremely bad acting. It's obvious that the majority of the performers have no professional experience. Honestly, some truly high school theater $#@% going on here.
The "monster costumes" are just laughable. Rubber suits that resemble what you would see in one of those "haunted house walkthroughs" (which still seem to pop up regularly).
The "wrap around" episode is ludicrous, even more than the other three "chapters" interspersed throughout the overly-long running time.
This is certainly one to skip.
Graduation Day (2015)
Well, here goes...
I will try it once again. Apparently, my previous attempt was declined.
I am quite puzzled.
Regardless, this is a lame film, with bad acting, and a ridiculous ending.
Obviously, most of these people are not actually high school aged, but that is to be expected. Filming "rules" for teenagers, and such.
I find it interesting, that the lead actor does not have a credit in here. He's not even listed? (He is, in the film.)
The plot involves quite a bit of obnoxious behavior - more than can be imagined at any high school. Quite a bit of blatant bullying.
The last shot confuses everything. Did the lead kill himself, or not?
Fallen Idols: Nick and Aaron Carter (2024)
Increasingly problematic
I am finding this type of "documentary" to be questionable.
They are becoming quite prevalent on the streamers, and I am wondering how the stories are being vetted.
I am not questioning the experiences of individuals, but there appears to be an uncomfortable level of manipulation happening.
The style is becoming repetitive. Is this for "sensation" and ratings? Is it completely responsible "journalism," if that's the correct term?
It's just becoming more uncomfortable to watch these "series."
I have worked on a few "true crime" things, and I began to question the producers. I will not work on any more.
Spacey Unmasked (2024)
Wow, mine was removed
There are several reviews, which say the exact same thing that I did.
WHY was mine deleted. It's bizarre.
I feel that this is a manipulated hot mess. It is performance art.
What am I allowed to say. Did ONE person "flag" me, and suddenly my review vanishes?
I watched this with a friend, and we both had the same reaction.
The "techniques" used for this "series" are questionable. Those interviewed appear coaxed to say certain things.
Am I not allowed to question certain aspects of this "series"?
I expresssed my OWN experiences and reactions in a similar situation. Apparently, they are not valid.
Ghostline (2015)
Bottom of the barrel
Low-budget (not really horror) flick with a ridiculous plot, poor acting, and nothing really making it worth your time.
Films like this are made by the thousands, and have now become streamer/cable "filler." Obviously, the general public has become a lot less demanding.
So...eight years previously, "Eric" kills his girlfriend "Ellen," and buries her in a remote area. For some reason, her "spirit" doesn't leave her body until she's been dead for a while. And as it floats skyward, IT HITS AN ELECTRICAL WIRE (and then becomes...I have no idea). It initially travels through phone lines/power lines, but suddenly can manifest itself somewhat (at first) physically. "Ellen" later gets all "Exorcist"-y.
.
This thing is a hoot, unintentionally. I dropped out with forty minutes left. Actually, I zipped ahead, and saw just how cringe-worthy it becomes.
Evil Things (2009)
It took three months to write the script?
For most of the film you watch the five people making up repetitive, pointless dialogue, as they travel and reach the destination. Ad-libbed improv. These are not really actors, obviously.
If you think that you are being followed by some crazy person in a van, and he pulls up to the local general market as you walk out...you walk BACK into the store, and ask the clerk to call the police. You DON'T get back on the dark road, and go to a remote cabin. (Well, they did stop by a diner. And the van appears there, as well. They discuss calling the police, don't, and one of the guys approaches the van, which drives away.)
So, what do you do next? Go to the remote cabin, of course! Don't bother, yet once again, to talk to the staff where you stopped.
THEN, the aunt who owns the cabin shows up and scares them, and they don't tell HER anything, because "she's so protective," and might make them leave. NO, maybe SHE would call the police.
Scene after scene, cackling/babbling/immaturity. What script? They say whatever they're thinking, mindlessly.
Yadda, yadda, yadda. No surprises.
Oh, and if you DO finally reach 911 on your cell, don't cry/scream into the phone. First thing, GIVE YOUR ADDRESS.
Some tense final moments. Then a senseless ending.
This could be so much more...
Followers (2021)
Incredibly bad
Once again, a hot mess found footage film.
Terrible location, bad casting, ridiculous "script," to name a few problems.
A lot of the plot feels tossed together in a random fashion. It's all over the place.
Oh, an aside..."Pete's" serious arm injury apparently disappears on a whim. Very sloppy continuity.
Honestly, I have no idea what this film is about. It lacks any sort of cohesion.
I have watched a LOT of found footage. And for those that I have actually finished (and I never feel obligated to do so), this is definitely the lamest.
Well, at least Daniel Cahill is pleasant on the eyes!!
A Night in the Woods (2011)
Another hot mess
Listen, I have watched DOZENS of "found footage" films.
There is a "formula." There are expectations.
This THING is ludicrous. What the ___ is going on?
I expect this to make sense. At the two-thirds point, this is just meandering.
Numerous pointless scenes. Poor performances.
Listen, you have to plow through a LOT of garbage films in this genre. THIS is not a good example.
OK, at the "hour" point, I am laughing. No, it's fifteen minutes later, and I am cracking up. (A friend is watching this with me.)
About 80% of "found footage" is awful - this falls into that category.
Bad movie, bad bad movie.
#Followme (2019)
Pointless beyond belief
I thought, at one point, the filmmaker is attempting to make a comment about vlogging and social media. Nope.
I thought, maybe this will be an interesting found footage addition, with some unexpected developments. Nope.
This flick is idiotic. Three people doing incredibly stupid things, time and time again. And constantly screeching.
And the film LOVES to throw "red herrings" into the mix, for NO discernible reason.
It is extremely difficult to have ANY sympathy for these characters. Yeah, come to America, pick up strangers, bring them home. Post online, EVERYTHING that you're doing.
I don't mind an ambiguous ending, but this is just POINTLESS.
The Tunnel (2011)
Enjoyed it
For those complaining about this flick, you can do better than "another shaky camera film," or "Blair Witch rip-off." LAME.
"Found footage" as a genre, has certain repetitive attributes - thus, a GENRE. You know, like "film noir," "slasher," "50s musical," etc. This film punches all of the expected buttons - and does it quite well.
The tunnel chases (or escapes) are incredibly tense. The set-up for the whole film makes complete sense. It's not a bunch of @#$%#@ jerks acting idiotic. It's a news crew with a legitimate reason for being underground.
The only thing that bothers me a bit - being a news crew, this footage would have gone viral, and created a sensation. Just ending with "the authorities and police closed the case," really isn't satisfactory. Regardless, it's a great found footage GENRE addition.
Watch it.
Alien Abduction (2014)
For some reason...
I remember this being better than it is.
The acting is awful.
There is some decent production value here, but within the first thirty minutes? This is just really inept.
"Shush"? WHO says that?
It's really easy to despise the father figure. He comes across as a complete DB.
"It's a COP car!"
The tunnel scene should have worked, but I just started laughing.
WAIT! It gets even better - the birds falling on the car. Am I supposed to find this hilarious?
"You all trespassin', and I got a gun." "I think I might have winged it."
WHO wrote this?
"I got a cell phone, like you'all got"
WOW, this is cringe-worthy. Not finishing it, this time.
Area 51 (2015)
Definitely in the minority
I actually enjoyed the film. More than I expected.
Granted it takes a while to kick in, and the ending will bother many, but I find the scenes in the Area 51 base to be quite tense.
Is everything explained? Not at all.
I'll admit to being quite surprised at the hate directed towards this film. Perhaps people were expecting another "Paranormal Activity" from director Peli?
I watch a LOT of found footage, and this is certainly better than most of the garbage that users give six or seven stars. Having just watched the awful "Hanger 10" right before this flick, I can definitely say it is a WHOLE lot better.
I'm glad I didn't read the reviews first, or I might have skipped it.
Hangar 10 (2014)
Completely falls apart
The final third of this film makes absolutely no sense. It doesn't help that many of the scenes were filmed in complete darkness.
Why do these people keep running away from each other?
Exactly WHO is holding the shaky cameras when the two people are left on the military base? Often, they are completely separated (a distance apart), yet each of them has a "third party" camera pointed at them. That makes absolutely no sense.
So, basically the aliens were infecting (some - not birds, apparently) life on earth with something causing "spikes" to grow out of bodies? That's it??
The film just meanders into a pointless conclusion.
NOTE: The accents are had to understand at times, and the streamer I was using - XUMO - was not subtitling all of the dialogue.
The Levenger Tapes (2013)
More of the lame same
OK, first of all, the lead actor just doesn't work here.
As usual, this is obnoxious people doing very stupid things. Time and again, you just yell at the screen, "What the ____ are you DOING?!!"
Yes, let's wander through the "dark" countryside (heavily fake lit, by the way) towards a guy whose truck we hit and ran from earlier. Let's continually creep into dark bushes because we see or hear "something." Let's open a "cage" (wait, there's no TOP), and step in with some crazy, monster woman inside. (Of course she escapes, and then somebody follows her into a strange house/cabin.)
Let' me go back to the "dark woods," where they're constantly using "night vision" on the camera...it's lighted like a football field. OOOOOOOOH, scary!!!
The ending is a hot mess.
Listen, my family once had a cabin in the remote woods, and I guarantee you, I would never have wandered around after dark. D'OH!!
Give me a horror movie, where everyone does the most logical thing - it can be done.
Butterfly Kisses (2018)
Terrible
I'll admit, that I lasted only thirty minutes. I normally slog through this stuff, but in this case, it is pointless.
This is really a sloppy "found footage" entry.
The "real people" actors are terrible. The lead performances are equally bad. "I've got it, Feldman." "I would not put my good name on the line." HUH? Cringe-worthy.
This comes across as a rehash of "The Blair Witch Project," at least as a "distant cousin."
I love found footage as a genre, but apparently, FAR too many people believe that they have mastered the formula. 75% of these films are garbage. If all else fails, copy "Blair."
Give it a rest.
UPDATE: I actually sat through the whole THING. Terrible. Probably the WORST "found footage" film that I've seen. SKIP IT.
Followed (2015)
Loved it
FINALLY, one of these films has leads that are normal, intelligent, and yes, attractive. None of the usual smarmy jerks.
Yes, the film is basically watching a couple on a road trip, but with a persistent undercurrent that kept me watching. This is what many would call a "slow burn," I suppose. I wasn't bored at all.
Great found footage flick.
Now, being that several people have made the same comment, I will say something. Folks, when you mention a "twist ending," guess what??? IT IS NO LONGER A TWIST ENDING. D'oh! Granted, if you put a spoiler alert and hide the review, it's fair game. However, it's a ridiculous habit that MANY users slip into. Just stop.
Exists (2014)
I didn't know that this film existed
I am a HUGE fan of "The Blair Witch Project." I have seen it well over fifty times.
This film is ten years old. I have NO idea why I didn't know about it. Sanchez directed both, of course.
I almost cut this off within the first ten minutes. The characters are total jerks. WHY? Wouldn't it be great, to have likable, intelligent people?
There are some really tense moments in this film, but they are undercut by the performances.
Idiots doing stupid things.
And Sanchez rips off his own "Blair," several times. Matt yelling in the distance? Josh in "Blair."
The Bigfoot cave? The house at the end of "Blair."
And if I heard the word "bro" one more time, I was going to punch the screen.
I am just amazed, that I never knew about this flick. It must have not received much attention.
Poltergeist (2015)
Pointless beyond belief
WHY was this made? It is such a pale imitation of the original.
I understand remakes. It has always been a "thing" in the industry. But THIS just feels so unnecessary. The original is iconic.
This is what you'd call "paint-by-numbers." (And I have an amazing collection of about two hundred originals. They are fantastic, but this is not.)
The acting is fine, but so insignificant, considering the original.
Wow, the director helmed the latest "Ghostbusters"?? I'll be curious. I am slogging my way through this film - I will attempt to complete it.
Wait, this Jared Harris stuff. Just NO. Signing out with thirty minutes left.
Don't bother.
Palm Royale (2024)
Hot mess
The set design is incredible.
But the series sinks, with every episode.
I have finished whatever the latest episode is, and I am just chugging through it. Such a waste.
I am curious about the ratings. I am hearing NOTHING about this. Even Apple+ has pushed it down the ladder, in terms of exposure.
Rather than a Kristen Wiig skit, I would have enjoyed this, more in the vein of "Big Little Lies," or something similar.
The slapstick is tiresome.
Great to see Carol Burnett. However, it feels like stunt casting.
I will watch it till the end, but I will be surprised if it is cleared for a second season.
I'll Love You Forever... Tonight (1992)
Impressive independent, "student" film
This film pleasantly surprised me. Fortunately, I didn't read these other reviews, prior to watching.
The performances are honest, and much better than the usual graduate thesis film (UCLA, in this case).
Paul Marius as "Ethan" is a truly effective lead. In many ways, beyond the plot revolving around him, he is also standing in for the film audience, closely observing what is going on with a group of gay men around him. He is also coming to terms with his past.
Victims of child abuse can often suffer an inability to become emotionally involved in relationships as an adult. I do not believe that this film is implying that the sexual molestation by his father, when he was quite young, is the "cause" of him being gay.
The other performers feel quite natural. As a former film school student myself, I can definitely say that director Bravo crafted a professional independent feature.
I love the black and white photography, and the often Brian Eno-esque score.
I am surprised that Marius does not have many acting credits. I really love his performance here.
I recommend this film.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: You'll Be the Death of Me (1963)
Lesser entry
Frankly, every time one of the episodes of this series is set in a small town, most of the actors speak with a ridiculously fake, twangy hillbilly accent. It is distracting, and pointless. Couldn't they find actors with natural accents? Plus, it is so unnecessary to the plot. I'm surprised that they aren't playing banjos, with stalks of straw in their teeth.
Loggia's performance is weak. Basically yelling a large percentage of his lines.
He threw the button on the ground for somebody else to find? With his FINGERPRINTS on it?
Why would "Driver's" wife put herself in danger with questions, if she really believes he killed Bette Rose? Especially with his temper. Also, why didn't she scream LOUDLY when she had the chance?
I'm not convinced that the mute character was essential.
Another one to skip.
The Alfred Hitchcock Hour: Murder Case (1964)
Incredibly grating
John Cassavetes is far too over the top in this episode. He's annoying whenever he's on screen. Scene after scene...he's just yelling sometimes.
Rowland fares much better.
What is surprising, is that actor Murray Matheson, who plays Rowland's "older" husband, was just 51 at the time!! He could pass for 75+.
The plot is dull. Many minutes pass without much happening.
The set design for the "play" is quite ugly - it should be presented as more than some "community theater" production.
I lasted about half-way, and turned it off. The first "Hitchcock Hour" that I have stopped watching.
Just skip it.