DennisDennyDen_Dolan Reviews

G.B.F. (2013)

This Movie Does For Homosexuals What "The Jazz Singer" Does For African-Americans

[2/10 · 20 January 2019]

For the people who gave this movie a good review, that reference might be a little too high-brow for you. So, allow me to explain. The Jazz Singer is one of the first movies in Hollywood to have color. It's also one of the most famous accounts of "black face", when a Caucasian actor portrays an African-America by coloring their face entirely black. It can be seen as incredibly offense to people who are African-American.

To put it into perspective, G.B.F. is the the homosexual equivalent of The Jazz Singer. A film that, looking back on it, is incredibly offensive to those who are considered homosexual. I'm not a homosexual and I'm acutely aware of the fact that this is offensive to homosexuals. The entire subject of the movie is how the popular girls need a gay best friend, which just doesn't sound appropriate. The only thing in this movie that I can see as more offensive is how they represent Mormons, saying that they are ether oblivious and idiotic, sexually repressed, or Nazis. While this is probably the most notable aspect of this movie, it's still utter tripe.

This film is very very similar in style to that of Heathers, a fantastic dark comedy that only gets better with age. This movie like if someone wanted to make a Heathers movie without any of the talent of work that was put into Heathers. Every actor is a performance that is ether completely monotone and irritating or coked out and mad. The script has all the intelligence of an 12 year old child just barely learning about homosexuality and mormonism. The set design is looks like a terrible parody of itself. The cinematography is bright and colorful that my eyes started bleeding. I could go on and on, but I have a social life I have to get to unlike the people who actually like this movie.

If you wanted to take my advice, skip this one. If you have any friend who is ether gay of Mormon, don't tell them about this movie. Tell others to avoid this movie. If you want a hilarious comedy that handles homosexual themes well, then watch Love, Simon. It is one thousand times better than this movie will ever be

All Hallows' Eve (2016)

I've Had More Fun Watching The Paint on My Wall Dry Than Watching This Tripe

[1/10 · 24 December 2018]

I don't have a clever intro to this review, so I'm just going to cut to the chase. This movie's pace is the equivalent of walking through a room that is filled to the brim with honey. To say that this movie is slow is the equivalent of saying that water is wet. A turtle would say that this movie needs to pick up the pace. My point is, it's boring.

No joke. This movie is slow as heel. This movie isn't worth turning spoilers on, because I'm one hundred percent certain that no cares about this movie (seeing that there are only two reviews for this movie and the both hate it). I've seen the worst of Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, Hallmark and Lifetime original movies and something happens in them that can at least gets an ironic laugh out of me. However, even though some things happen in this movie, nothing happens.

I cannot think of a single thing that is even remotely passible about this movie. The acting is so wooden that it literal feels like watching to trees talking to each other. The cinematography is so bland that I hesitate to call it cinematography. The writing is Hocus Pocus without the silliness and the charm. The production design had less effect put into it than an essay written by a high schooler about The Scarlett Letter. The editing has all the excitement of an office cubical. Hell, even the custom design was basically just whatever the filmmakers could find at Party City. The only possible good thing I can think of is that the camera man decided to take the lens cap of the camera, turned the camera on and pointed in in the face of the actors

My advice, skip this one and warn others to stay away from this. Trust me on this one. You, and I mean you! The person reading this at 4 in the morning surrounded by pizza boxes. You could make a make a better movie that this

Bumblebee (I) (2018)

It Took 5 Tries, But We Finally Got Another Good One

[8/10 · 23 December 2018]

I don't really have much of a history with the Transformers films. I'm aware that most of them are objectively bad movies, however I haven't seen all of them. I've only seen the first one, which before Bumblebee, was universally accepted as the best Transformers movie and the second one which gave us robot testicles. Yeah...

And then I saw Bumblebee...

This film is wonderful. Every aspect of this movie is better than both of the Transformers movies. The acting is beautiful (especial from Haliee Steinfeld) the cinematography is gorgeous and visible, the soundtrack is incredibly incorporated, the writing is cheesy in all the right ways and everything other aspect is anywhere from good to great. Where as in the others were the acting was offensive, the cinematography was unintelligible and overwhelming, the soundtrack was generic sounds and Linkin Park, the writing is cheesy in all the wrong ways and everything other aspect leaves so much to be desired.

To be completely honest, the only true problem I had during the film was a god damn fly crawling across the window to the projection booth. I truly can't think of really problem with this movie. Sure, it can be a little cheesy at times, but the movie makes it clear that it's supposed to be cheesy and it's not just Bay's horrible writing.

If you want to know how much better this movie is than the other movies, I'll describe to you one scene in the movie. Spoilers, incase you weren't away of the warning...

Charlie (Haliee Steinfeld) is with Bumblebee in her garage and she's trying to repay his radio. While Charlie is doing that, Bumblebee is watching The Breakfast Club and old diving videos. Charlie takes out the diving videos because she doesn't want to watch them. She successfully fixes Bumblebee's radio and plays Take on Me, and song by The Smiths and Never Gonna Give You Up. Bumblebee likes Take on Me, but not the other two. So, Charlie tries to find some more music while Bumblebee sifts through some of the vinyl records hanging from the walls. Charlie stops Bumblebee from doing that and eventually confesses that she hates watching her diving videos and old records because it reminds her of her dead dad. Charlie starts to cry and Bumblebee comforts her.

This scene is funny and emotion and even managed to make me forget that Bumblebee was even in the scene in the first place. This scene tries so much more than every. other Transformers movie I have every seen.

I can't do this film more justice here. So please, go seen this movie! Because I have a sinking suspicion that this isn't going to make a lot of money at the box office

Next Gen (I) (2018)

Pixar Would Struggle to Make a Movie This Good

[9/10 · 17 September 2018]

When I first heard about this movie, I had just logged into Netflix and saw the trailer for this movie. It was a 3-D animated movie staring him Charlyne Yi, Jason Sudeikis, Micheal Pena and David Cross and it's not being produced by a major animation company. Not by Disney, not by Dreamworks, not by Illmunation. not by Pixar, not by any of them. It's takes place in a future where robots are the new I Phone, mass produced and owned in every house hold. A young girl (Cherlyne Yi) has a particular dislike for these robots and tries to escape them after getting lost at a robot convention. She then stumbles upon a secret robot meant to protect humanity from a great threat upon the horizon. From there, the girl and the robot go on a touching adventure of a lifetime.

Stroke with curiosity, I decided to watch this movie very recently and my overall conclusion is this-

This...movie...is...PHENOMENAL!!!

I absolutely adore this movie. I've had thought long and hard about this and I can't find a single thing wrong with this movie. I didn't think that any animated movie that was made outside of Pixar, Disney, Dreamworks and Illumiation weren't worth a damn. And than I saw this movie and was absolutely blown away by every aspect of this movie.

Lets start with the animation, which is spectacular. Every frame of this movie is shrouded in beautiful lighting, shadows, colors and backgrounds. This movie has some of the best visuals I've ever seen in an animated movie. It's truly unbelievable.

Then there's the voice acting. Everyone in this movie brings there a game. No one in this movie gives anything less than a perfect performance (which is ironic given the films message). Even the side characters in this movie are giving it 110 %.

I could rant and rave about everything else about his movie, like the action set pieces, the script or even the pure imagination on display. However, there is one last thing I want to talk about is my favorite part of the film; that being the characters and their emotional moments. These characters reaches above and beyond Pixar levels. The growth these characters go through is some of the best that animation, or hell, film has to offer. Not to mention that this movie makes what may seem tired clothes and trops emotional and heartfelt again.

This is why I say that even Pixar would struggle to make a movie this good. This truly exceptional film, I'd good as far as to say, is better than most of the Pixar movies that are out there. It's not even a question, I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves animation or movies in general. I loved this movie, and I think that you will too!

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

A Pleasant Surprise

[7/10 · 22 July 2018]

Personally, I'm not a fan of the first Mamma Mia. The first film, I felt, good aspects but that the bad outweighed the good. I thought that the focus should have been on Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) trying to figure out who her father was, Sam (Pierce Brosnan), Harry (Colin Firth) and Bill (Stellan Skarsgard) and was instead put on one too many Abba songs and objectively bad comedy. On top of that, I felt that most of the characters were ether unnecessary or didn't get nearly enough focus as they should.

So, given my opinion on the original, one would think that I would feel the same about the new one. But that not the case...

It's not an award winning film or a clever social commentary or anything like that. However, it is significantly better than the first one. It does what many sequels don't do but most sequels should do. It takes the bad aspects of the first one and tries to change them around to make them work and also finding the good aspects and improving them as well as making them more prominent. In this movie, even though it was stellar, was done much better. I felt that the movie had a little too much of Meryl Streep in it. In this movie, Meryl's character is still a large aspect of it, but Meryl herself is barely in it. On top of it, The filmmakers choose have young Donna be played by Lily James. An actress who's not as good of an actress as Meryl Streep, but is a significantly better singer.

Another thing that I didn't like was Donna's friend group, Rosie (Julie Walters) and Tanya (Christine Baranski). In the first film, I felt that the two of them were incredibly intrusive. However, in this movie, even though they still have a large part, they are much less intrusive and much funnier in their young roles with young Rosie (Alexia Davies) and young Tanya (Jessica Keenan Wynn). Another thing was that I didn't like how some characters weren't given enough focus when they really should have. In this movie, he still wasn't that prominent part in this one, I knew that Sophie's husband's name was Sky (Dominic Cooper). Amongst other things, the cinematography, the acting, the emotional moments and the color palette were all improved.

Too top it all off, this movie is everything a sequel should be. It improves on aspects that were bad and made the good aspects more prominent. It was better than I ever expected I would definitely recommend it.

Zombies (2018 TV Movie)

The Only Time I've Ever Wanted to Punch a Hole Through my T.V.

[1/10 · 18 June 2018]

That review might seem a little harsh, however that doesn't mean that it is not true. I am usually very positive when I review movies. As negative as this review may appear, I do like to give most movies the benefit of the doubt. However, it took me 3 separate views too find anything that I can even consider passible.

Lets start with what I find passible with the movie. Probably the most passible thing in the movie is the couch of Zed's team. The character is almost like something out of a Kevin Hart or Tyler Perry movie. His character is self-depracting and aware of just how pathetic he is. He's also over the top and clearly not taking this seriously. However, he never truly reaches anything above passible.

No lets get into the things I find bad about this movie. And rest assured, There is a lot of things. But to keep things relatively streamlined and to keep me from explode in a mixture of rage and violence, I'll start with the production design.

The production design looks like it was done in an afternoon with whatever they could find laying around the soundstage. The colors of the sets include pastel pink and blue that don't sever any purpose whatsoever. The make-up makes the zombies look like they're all amateur cosplayers dressing up as The Joker for ComicCon.

Next, I'm going to talk about the acting. Apart from the couch, none of the performances reaches anything above serviceable. Zed, the lead male of the film, is a zombie who wants to join the football team. He barely seems like he cares thought the movie, clearly have fun an letting too much of himself into the character. There's also Addison, the female lead of the movie, who is a human hoping to become a cheerleader. She appears to be trying really hard throughout the entire movie. However, this combination isn't very good at all. Not to mention that their on screen chemistry can best be described as two people who were told early that morning that they would fall in love.

There's also Bucky, Addison's cousin who is also the captain of the cheerleaders. He is constant flipping from coked out maniac and wooden stump throughout the movie. And then there's everyone else, whom are basically the same as Bucky.

Then there is the writing and story, which is probably my least favorite aspect. The messages and themes, while definitely good and important, are delivered with the all of the subtlety of a sledgehammer being swung towards a house made of glass. Not a single line is clever or service the story in a unique way. And the message of the film appears to be "We call all solve racism by cheering." If only Malcolm X or Fredrick Douglas k new that all he needed to do was cheer.

There are other things that are terrible about this movie, but I don't have the time or the patience to describe them