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marcdavidcohn
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Reviews
Southbound (2015)
Went in low, came out high
Found this buried on Hulu so gave it a try. Plenty of holes but it's an anthology so it doesn't need to make perfect sense. It has continuity from tale to tale, even if it's just one character reacting very briefly with another. I've got cinematic OCD and this one kept my attention for the entire 90 minutes. Worth a watch if you like offbeat low budget horror flicks. You won't be disappointed.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
Rated it a resounding 10...
...just so other people can waste 2 hours of their own precious life on earth by watching this movie 😒 (chill out, see the last paragraph)
At least it was "free" on Netflix. If I would have paid for a in-theatre release experience and all the delicious accoutrements, I'd grab a sign halfway through and start picketing outside the theatre.
But hey. Right now the average rating is 5.6 on IMDB. That about sums it up. There is a message here. It's convoluted but it's there. The real question I have is how many of those viewing this even really care?
Belong to Us (2018)
Cute dog, that's about it though
Movie had opportunity to really drive home a message about illegal dog fighting, but simply uses it to build a weak, yawn-filled story line that never really delivers in any real way. The dog was used to tie together two or three sub plots. To be honest, the dog, a great example of a German Shepherd, should really have had more lines in this flick because the acting by the humans was simply horrendous and the writing pedestrian at best. It's not easy to make a good dog movie, Belong to Us is unfortunately not one of them.
Hereditary (2018)
Never wanted to give any movie 0 stars, until now
I feel sorry for Toni Collete needing to take this role. I realize it is very difficult to come up with fresh horror executions but don't hype it all up and then rip off other movies.
I kept waiting for something to happen and when it did all I could do was groan and chuckle. Some promoter made a boatload of cash, the rest of us have spiderwebs where our movie money used to be. Save your date night stash and look this up on Kodi. Or just go bowling.
Assholes (2017)
Delightfully disturbingly absurd
This movie definitely is not for everyone but the critics are probably too young to remember movies with cinema drag queen Divine.
Assholes can get downright nasty at times just like it's animal namesake. It was hard to watch sloppy French kissing replete with recreational petroleum-based inhalants and gaping herpes sores.
And I could have done just fine without the ass-eating montage. But hey, it's to be expected considering the name of the flick. The final minutes take an abrupt left turn but the introduction to two new assholes makes the odd segue fit just fine.
If you enjoy crude and quirky, darker than dark humor from often strange characters, open your mind and close your mouth around Assholes. (Check out the fun Jackass-inspired award the movie won at SxSW)
Annihilation (2018)
Pretty flowers, angry critters and....
....painfully slow pacing, oh my. at least for me. Another reviewer said everybody talks so slowly in this movie, for more drama maybe, and I enthusiastically agree! Glad I downed a Red Bull near the beginning.
With the estrogenic-laden cast I couldn't help but wonder if adding a little testosterone to the core crew may have added a little more tension to the story. Sorry ladies, At some points i almost wanted to genre this movie as a sci-fi chick flick.
Not a terrible movie and the premise is still interesting and would make a great movie some day. This one misses the mark when there could have been so much more. The last half hour or so goes where I didn't think this concept would go, and I'm still not sure whether I liked the wrap up or not. I came out of it with some annoying confusion.
CGI is decent and while the flora and fauna may not be in a similar ballpark as Avatar, it was well done without being in your face. The backing track and sound effects fit the movie. Would have been much more impressive in the theatre vs our 40 inch screen.
Headgame (2018)
Holier than Swiss Cheese, stinkier than Limburger
To start off honest I enjoyed reading the reviews of this movie more than watching the movie itself. My 2cents...
So many gaps in continuity and plot development create confusion aplenty. The cameras, actually matte black plastic disks, were expected to be integral to the film style and considering the name of the movie. Well, cameras? Nope nope nope. It could have been much cooler with more thoughtful first person views. Somebody forgot to take their creativity pill that day.
Then there are those evil vaporizers (aka vapes) that seemingly played a larger role than the cameras and we never learn why. Why?
The acting was abysmal and the effects laughable. The soundtrack with its mix of opera and house rave was disturbing. The ending starts just like the beginning. I thought Bill Murray would pop out. Wish he did. Please god please don't let there be a sequel.
Three tips to the editors if Someone bankrolls another one of these dogs:
if 6 hours ticks by on a clock you need to show people actually doing something other than stumbling around in a maze of wood pallets.
Machetes have relatively straight blades, no half moon cutouts to fit nicely around the neck. Stinks like a rotten B-movie.
A camera lens drilled into your forehead with a vial of acid and a battery in tow WILL certainly leave some sort of marks, I mean a lot of marks like shredded hamburger, the next morning. Think about it eh?
I lost an hour and a half plus of my life and theatrical patience to this movie. Thankfully it cost me zilch to watch it. I gave it an extra star because the ending credits were the best part of the movie.
The Children (2008)
Children of the .... woods?
I wanted to like this movie more than I did. Just seems like I've seen this plot before somewhere. And why oh why do evil kids in movies always sport huge dark bags under their eyes?