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storey97
Reviews
The Immaculate Room (2022)
How do they keep bumping into things
It drove me crazy that they kept bumping into the bed or kept saying they couldn't see anything after the lights went out even though the room had the entire floor covered with lights. I mean the bed practically had underglow light effects like a car would have.
Pretty slow movie where nothing really happens..
Ok. That's the end of the review. Why the hell is the app making me come up with 600+ characters for the review. There is literally nothing left to say. I want this review to stop but no, it won't let me. It just keeps making me type more letters. Yippee, only 26 more characters to go.
Fall (2022)
Main characters are too stupid to have lived to their 20ish birthday
Ok. Let me start by saying I am part of AMC Alist and thusbi go watch every movie that comes out. And I mean all of them. I use it as a way to turn my brain off and just sit back and suspend my thoughts and enjoy the show.
But this movie was just so badly thought out. The main characters should have died of from anything else just their shear stupidly.
I can believe a director makes a movie about climbing and has the leads wear climbing harnesses the entire movie, but are only ever clipped in for a few seconds of the movie. I'm couldn't stop wanting to scream at the screen to clip yourself in you dumbass. They don't clip in while climbing. The don't belay themselves down when they need to (they just hold the rope and climb down the rope). They don't clip in when they are being lifted up. They don't clip in when they reach the top and are just standing on a 5ft square platform. They don't tie themselves off to the tower when they try to sleep so they could just easily roll off (I mean have they at least not watched Hunger Games once).
Look I get these types of movies are just going for the oh my God they can fall at any second type feelings, but you can have that and still make it seem at least somewhat believable.
I definitely wouldn't waste money paying to see this one. I'd either wait until it came out on HBO, etc or go see it if you have the Alist type memberships and it doesn't cost you anything.
Gordy (1994)
Maybe the worse movie of all time
I sat down with my just turned 5 year old for "Family Movie Night" and we let him pick this off the free video on demand.
Sure the kid loved it, but words cannot describe how awful this movie is. I would rather saw off my head with an electric toothbrush (modified of course) than to watch this movie again.
There are so many parts of this movie that are just completely unbelievable, it makes you want to cry (Ignore the fact that the pig talks and humans can understand him....that's the most believable thing in the movie).
During one scene, the kid and pig are walking down the road lost when all of the sudden the only people in the entire country that know them pass by them in their RV. Granted this is just some country road and the people in the RV are traveling all over the country singing.
Another scene has the bad guys throwing a pig off a couple hundred feet bridge where Cousin Idiot is able to catch the pig in his arms down below without the other people noticing.
The wealthy businessman dies and leaves his company to his young grandson. However, because his grandson is too young to run the company, he gives complete control to Gordy. Gordy is a f'ing pig mind you. The pig is then shown interviewed numerous times on stock market / business type shows where the host asks him a question and the pig snorts a few times in response.
The entire plot seems like it was generated by some drawing board created by a 3 year old. I cannot imagine how this actually got funding to produce or how badly an actor needed a job to look at this script and say "Hell yes, sign me up."