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olivialaurencauthen
Reviews
521 North Main Street (2023)
An okay movie was happening just off screen, but
The filmmakers were too lazy to shoot and/or edit the movie so we could see it. The characters are often reacting to something just off screen. Or L-cuts are used prominently which means most dialogue is heard while another character reacts.
There is a 3 minute scene where Albert talks to a doll and there is a single shot of the doll cut with a two shot of Albert and the doll. There is no single on Albert. It is amateurish at best.
Half the effects happen in close-ups where you can't see the full thing and the rest of the movie is shot like a home movie with poorly composed wides and two shots.
The "lighting" was flat and ugly unless a clown was on screen; you might get a spotlight if so.
The performances by Tiffany Skye Dodson, Stephen Smith, Darren Benjamin and Ru Benjamin Revolver could have kept the movie afloat, but half the runtime they are offscreen, even when they are the focus of a scene. It's a really bizarre choice to have an entire movie happening offscreen.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)
During Episode 7...
Augie stands up and says he's had enough of the nonsense and demands Roderick cut to the chase. And I should have realized then that I could stop watching and do literally anything else with my evening, but damn that sunk cost fallacy.
I really enjoy some of Mike Flanagan's work (The Haunting of Hill House, Bly Manor, Hush,) but I also really don't like some of his work (Doctor Sleep, Midnight Mass, The Midnight Club--although that one is barely his--) so take all this with a massive grain of salt.
The good: Frauderick's turn into absolute monsterdom is great. Really, the three final deaths of the 6 kids are wonderful. Carla Gugino's speech to Lenore before her death was a nice pause from the endless reveling in all the deaths she'd already caused.
The bad: Up until about episode 6, all the "scares" or whatever you want to call them are just gross. They aren't scary at all, just really sickening in a not-fun way. The character Camille was grody and smug and her costumes were silly (apart from the one with the snake bodice, which was rad.) The dead cat prop looked like they stuck a knife in the Salem the Cat puppet. The characters Napoleon and Prospero were unpleasant from start to finish and should have died sooner. Our two main characters, Roderick and Madeleine LITERALLY PAVE A MAN BRICK BY BRICK INTO A WALL AND THIS IS BEFORE THEY EVEN MEET DEATH/THE DEVIL/CARLA GUGINO. The whole show was an exercise in watching evil people be evil, so it stopped being fun basically in episode 2. The only good/kind people are their significant others, Lenore, Morrie and Augie. Everyone else hogs the majority of the screen time and they are unbearable. And since most of their deaths (or in Morrie's case, her survival) are just gross and not interesting, it's a drag to watch. Also all the bodies falling from the sky was pure silliness. It did not look good. And finally, Lenore flicks through Netflix at one point and Gerald's Game comes up. YOU ARE TELLING ME EDGAR ALLAN POE DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE, BUT MIKE FLANAGAN DOES? OKAY, BUDDY.
Ultimately, my disdain for the show comes down to personal taste, but I have a feeling this show will not have the same rewatchability as either of the Haunting series.
My Best Friend's Exorcism (2022)
The costumes are from TJ Maxx
I have the exact shirt Abby wears in the final scene. TJ Maxx 2021. Excellent shirt. Terrible movie.
I know saying this movie is bad because the book is better is not a good faith criticism, so I will say the acting is bad and the costumes are worse. The demon looks like Gollum, not a super cool owl, and the worst he can do is call Abby a little girl. Like, little girl is not an insult a grand marquess of Hell would use. Call her something really cutting, ya fricken nerd. Christopher Lowell is great, but completely out of place in an otherwise uneven and unfunny movie.
In summary, puh puh puh pass.