naturenomad Reviews

The Creator (2023)

A cinematic visual SNORE FEST

[1/10 · 1 October 2023]

I truly wanted to love this film with all my heart but halfway through I kept feeling more and more detached as the seconds and minutes rolled by. It's the kind of movie that you appreciate but emotionally cannot connect with. I blame the leads.

Denzel's son is so bland and dull, he has no chemistry or charisma with any of the actors. He should have played a robot.

The little girl actress was absolutely terrible and annoyingly drab. These two characters were supposed to melt away at my heart but they never did. Cinematically it's a nice movie to look at but perhaps one of the most uninteresting and boring films of the year.

If you have chronic Insomnia I suggest you go to the late showing of this, you'll be snoozing in no time.

Slotherhouse (2023)

So much fun! The guilty pleasure M3GAN should have been!

[10/10 · 27 September 2023]

When viewing a movie about a homicidal SLOTH on a murderous rampage one must check your brain at the door, suspend all your beliefs, just sit back and enjoy the ride. Too many horror movies are so eye rolling pretentious these days. The onslaught of generic demon / ghost movies have become exhaustingly predictable.

When I first saw the trailer and saw the character design of the Sloth I was immediately sold. It looked so campy and bizarre that I put this on my must see list. These one star reviews all shout the same tune. One person said this was the worst movie they've ever seen. It's far from the worst and for me Slotherhouse put a wicked big grin on my face.

After a day of doom scrolling non stop insane bad news this is the cup of tea we all need. Fun, great epic score and a rollicking ending that makes you like the characters you didn't like in the beginning. It's a fever dream of Mean Girls meets Gremlins on Adderall.

I loved ever second of it and If the filmmakers are reading this, please make a sequel one day. This is destined to become a camp classic!!

A Haunting in Venice (2023)

Deadly Dull. A Badly Directed Cinematic Snore.

[1/10 · 15 September 2023]

I am not going to lie, I was very intrigued for this latest Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot offering. Unfortunately My hopes and excitement vanished within 15 minutes into the film when I realized how badly directed this was and how deadly dull the vibe of this film was going to be.

There was no energy to the proceedings. The odd camera angles made my eyes roll. It was going for a artsy fartsy pretentious look with a oh so serious note that lacked any fun or thrill.

I kid you not, halfway through one of the five at evening showing audience member started snoring.

Tina Fey was horribly miscast and the guy from Fifty Shades was beyond bland and his acting was pure cringe. Aside from a few super lame jump scares this movie was so boring and a cinematic cure for insomnia. Michelle Yeoh and her bad wig needed to cash a paycheck because her role was beyond short and wasted.

Everyone looked miserable and slightly embarrassed to be in this. I kinda wished it had camp appeal but everything played so serious and nothing about this was remotely unintentionally funny.

The reveal at the end was so lackluster and dumb, it felt like you were watching a really bad Hallmark Mystery TV Series. This movie is going to bomb hard. It's pure cinematic torture and one of the years worst.

It Lives Inside (2023)

The most dull, lackluster and generic horror offering in ages

[1/10 · 5 September 2023]

Gosh, what can I say but how utterly disappointed I am after seeing this tonight at my Regal chain for their Monday Mystery Movie. I will admit the trailer for IT LIVES INSIDE was intense and terrifying.

I was so anticipating thud being a horror movie fan, however this was so lackluster, dull and not scary. The film was played like a greatest hits knockoff of superior films like THE RING, THE BABADOOK, IT FOLLOWS etc...

The direction was disjointed and all over the place. A could have been truly terrifying scene would cut to another dull scene then back to the other scene. Also take a drink every time the main character would wake up screaming from a nightmare. Even the dilapidated house was a rip off from Nightmare on Elm Street.

This is a watered down generic poorly directed made for streaming flick that has no clue how to scare. The creature reveal had my audience roaring with laughter and giggles.

Avoid at all cost!

Strays (2023)

Hideously unfunny, not clever and perhaps the worst movie of the decade.

[1/10 · 24 August 2023]

Seriously who green lit this awful turd of a movie. Imagine sitting in a theater to watch a comedy and not one single chuckle came out of the audience. My partner actually dozed off, this is how terrible this movie is. Not sure what Dennis Quaid was thinking when he did his cameo but I venture to guess he needed a quick payday.

The sad thing about Strays is that it thinks it's been clever by lining the dialogue with non stop profanity. Not clever but dish water dull and it gets painfully boring quick.

I think the creators thought this would be a stoner classic but instead it bombed big time at the box office and deservingly so.

WORST MOVIE OF THE DECADE and will sweep the Razzies next year.

Joy Ride (2023)

Worst comedy of 2023! Pure CRINGE and embarrassing for everyone in involved.

[6/10 · 2 July 2023]

Sorry guys word of mouth is going to be bad. There were plenty of walkouts during our sneak tonight. Jokes fell completely flat and you like you're in trouble when the audiences are dead silent during comedic moments.

Sure there were some funny parts but the trailer made this out to be a Crazy Rich Asians meets Bridesmaids non stop laugh riot. Sabrina Wu was horrible. Her timing was terrible and made for some very uncomfortable moments.

The reason Bridesmaids was a master class in comedy was it was hilarious and perfection from beginning to end. This was bottom of the barrel bad writing mixed with awkward performances that borderline unwatchable. I am embarrassed for some of the talent. If you must wait for stream.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Wow! It was such a fun roller coaster ride and better then expected!

[10/10 · 2 July 2023]

I'll be honest here, the marketing was MEH and very uneventful. I didn't get any must see thrilling vibes from any of the trailers released. I love the old Indy movies as I grew up watching them and I wasn't a fan of the last crusade. I went with my best friend who is a huge fan of this franchise and I had lowered my expectations big time,

Wow I was AMAZED at how much fun I had while watching this, it isn't anything new but the way it was crafted felt like I was transported to the good old days of cinema and going to the movies. The set pieces felt like a roller coaster ride and were very well done. I loved every second of this movie and so did my audience. It was a nice break from all the comic book movies and fast X crap.

I hope Hollywood starts making good old fashioned blockbusters again because this was a bonafied thrill ride. Harrison Ford may be old but he delivered and still has the it factor. Loved the actress who played his goddaughter, she was perfect and handled her scenes effortless. Now it feels like summer at the movies. Go see it and have a good ole time. I can't wait to see it again!!

Robots (I) (2023)

BEYOND CRINGE INDUCING! Poor Shailene Woodley.. I'm so embarrassed for her!!

[1/10 · 23 May 2023]

From the poorly and I mean poorly opening jab at Trump and his supporters ( I hate trump ) this was sooooo painfully bad and I might just throw a vote at him in 2024 to the badly comedic timing of every frame and every scene, this was by far one of the worst movies I've seen in EONS! Not sure how they signed a once talented bright star like Shailene on this role but I venture to guess her bills needed to be paid. Everyone involved should be embarrassed. There were scenes that get suddenly chopped off and lead to the next without rhyme or reason.

The director has no concept of timing or flow. He directs this movie like he took some cheap bottom of the barrel CBD sleep gummies and was in some haze. The concept was great but the execution was non existent. Avoid this like the second the sixth coming of Covid in your nightmares. It's the worst film so far of 2023!

Infinity Pool (2023)

Brandon Cronenberg Is a talentless hack. Perhaps the worst movie I've ever sat through. DULL & EMBARRASSING

[8/10 · 29 January 2023]

I've been anticipating this movie for a long time since I heard it was in development. I am a huge fan of his fathers work. Unfortunately Brandon does not possess his fathers talents or skills. This is INSTAGRAM FILTERS the MOVIE. I love Mia Goth but good lord she needs to branch out of the psycho wide eyed girl from hell role. Alexander, who's how cringe and embarrassing for him, This movie had not ounce of integrity and you can tell Brandon's been watching too many David Lynch movies. He has zero talent on how to craft a trippy ride. No suspense, no intensity, My audience booed after it was over. Four people walked out. Literally the worst piece of garbage I've ever seen,

Break Every Chain (2021)

Absolutely amazing

[10/10 · 6 May 2022]

Just finished watching and didn't realize how much I needed this movie until now. Really shows hope and during this crazy world turned upside down. I sure hope filmmakers make more movies like this.

Cheaper by the Dozen (2022)

Zach Braff is cringe inducing and embarrassing in this WOKE NONSENSE

[1/10 · 20 March 2022]

Seriously Zach even looks embarrassed to be in this woke joke of a crap remake. Seriously Hollywood what are ya all doing? Why can't filmmakers make decent good movies anymore? Everything has to be United Colors Of Benneton AD these days, please stop with the woke crap. I couldn't handle 15 mins of it before I shut it off. The actors were terrible especially Zach who used to be such a good cool actor, oh how he's falling down the stony end these days. AVOID this NONSENSE!

American Underdog (2021)

Just the kind of movie we all need right now! AMAZING!

[10/10 · 26 December 2021]

I am not a sports or football fan, nor have I ever heard of Kurt Warner, but his journey is the kind of cinematic soul food we all need at the moment when the world is turned upside down still.

I have always been a fan of Anna Panquin since she was a little girl in The Piano all the way up to her sassy iconic SOOKIE of True Blood Fame. It was so nice to see her in a warm, down to earth role like this. Her portrayal of Brenda Meoni who inspires Kurt to be a better man is the glue that holds this amazing feel good movie of the year together.

There are pure moments in this film that each of us can relate to. Ultimately it's about the power of love and how strong it can to change our lives and make it better.

All the performances were understated and hit all the right notes. The direction was fast paced without being Hallmark cheesy and Zachery Levi really made this work on so many levels without being showy or arrogantly obnoxious like it could have been in the hands of a different actor. The actor that played Brenda's son who was blind was so touching and will break your heart.

I really loved this movie. It's the movie we all need right now.

Violet (II) (2021)

INSTAGRAM STORY: THE MOVIE

[1/10 · 15 November 2021]

I really wanted to love this movie, I think Oliva Munn is a great actress and very talented however this pretentious film plays like nails on chalkboard. The font, voice in head and graphics immediately throws you off in the most hideously annoying way. I get what Justin Bateman was trying to convey but honestly this was one of the most annoying movies I've seen in ages.

It's like the worst Instagram Story come to life. Nothing is compelling. A misfire on all levels. Avoid like the Delta Virus.

Antlers (2021)

The most overhyped disappointing horror movie in ages!

[1/10 · 30 October 2021]

Well that was a dud. I was anticipating this movie what seems like forever and just went to go see this opening night. Empty theater with maybe 4 other patrons. 2 of them walked out halfway. I love me a slow burn horror movie but this was ridiculously bland, dull and boring.

You never connected or cared about any of the characters especially the little boy and Kerri Russell who played a damaged goods school teacher on the verge. This is the kind of movie where everyone acts dumb as bricks and make poor cliched horror movie decisions like walking into a creepy old house without permission alone.

The film was dark and dreary and the creature designs was so murky and not scary whatsoever. If you make it through the end of this cinematic ambien of a flick you deserve an award. Don't waste your money when there are so many better options out there!

They should have released this on VOD or a streaming service and not hyped this awful movie.

All My Life (2020)

Ghastly Hallmark Movie of the Week.

[1/10 · 24 December 2020]

If you are expecting a full on tear jerker, you need not to worry about bringing a box of Kleenex because this movie will not make you cry. Horribly miscast and badly directed, this film is nothing but cringey scenes after cringe inducing scenes. The two beautifully attractive leads have no chemistry. The acting was really forced and dry. You may watch this on a plane to kill off time but you are better staring at a white freshly painted wall. This movie was dreadful and the scene by the bridge was more painful then a double root canal. Avoid!

Let's Scare Julie (2019)

the worst horror movie of the century

[1/10 · 5 October 2020]

Seriously, this one is BAD! beyond BAD!! The ending is by far the one of the worst since 2012's god awful The Devil Inside. This level of embarrassment should have never been made. The plot and storyline goes nowhere. The actors feel like they were found via Facebook Marketplace. I know it's Halloween and we all feel obliged to watch anything remotely cool and scary but believe all the bad reviews on here and AVOID THIS LIKE MISS RONA!

Hard Kill (2020)

The GLITTER of low budget ACTION FLICKS!

[1/10 · 9 September 2020]

Seriously what happened to Bruce Willis? Is he that hard up for cash these days that he would resort to starring in bottom of the barrel direct to dvd trash flicks like this? This movie was horrid. Not even in the guilty pleasure sense. Jesse Metcalfe I mean really? He needs to just stick to Dancing with the Stars and give up his acting day job cause he was downright cringe inducing. You have been warned. This movie is bad and not in a good way!

Little Fires Everywhere (2020)

Could not stomach Kerry Washington's acting and facial anguish

[1/10 · 12 April 2020]

It started off interesting to say the least then by the 3rd and 4th episode I found myself getting more and more annoyed by Kerry Washington's one trick act. Her anguish on display was absolutely unnecessary and beyond distracting. Compared to the actress who played her daughter, Kerry did not shine and only made you dislike her character more and more by the second.

Her manufactured acting was like groundhog day. Same facial tics, cue up the ugly cry tears, wash, lather, rinse and repeat. It got insufferable to the point of unbearable. How could you empathize with her character when the actress who plays her without any depth, warmth or integrity. This is a fingernails on chalkboard endurance test of a performance. Kerry used to be one of my favorite actresses.

Reese and the actors who play her kids were terrific. Reese can channel this role in her sleep blindfolded. The actress who plays Bebe Chow was horrendous. Her acting was as subtle as a sledgehammer. The show has moments of guilty pleasure campiness but then dissolves back into tone utterly ruined by K-Washington. By episode 5, I just had to quit. I couldn't anymore with her facial expressions.

Onward (I) (2020)

A MISFIRE hot mess that is all the place!

[1/10 · 7 March 2020]

Not sure what to say, it did not feel like PIXAR, it did not feel like Disney. Not sure where it went wrong in production but it was all over the place. It had good intentions but the execution, character design was poor, ugly and amateur. This is probably the ugliest animated feature to come out in years.

he bar has been raised and for something like this to land in the multiplex under the PIXAR brand is just tragic.

The end battle with the dragon is just mind-numbingly dull. I would avoid at all cost and by the look of empty theaters this weekend, most people are.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

GHASTLY and HORRID

[1/10 · 14 February 2020]

Wow, my roommate dragged me to go see Sonic tonight at 10, judging from the near empty theaters, it looks like people are being smart and avoiding this trainwreck of a family flick. Jim Carrey needs to retire and resort to back to his ANTI TRUMP, he tries so hard but fails on every level. Sorry Jim, you've lost your magic touch a long time ago. He was cringe inducing and embarrassing to watch.

Marsden is serioulsly typecast in these bland thankless roles, he needs a new agent. The movie is nowhere as bad as CATS however it is bland, boring and dull like CATS. This is made for TV netflix flavor of the week fodder and anyone that forks over hard earned cash will be fooling themselves that this movie is entertaining. AVOID like the PLAGUE

The Grudge (2019)

It's only 3 days into 2020 and THE WORST HORROR MOVIE OF THE YEAR HAS ARRIVED

[1/10 · 3 January 2020]

Wow, I went into this movie tonight, very excited and within 15 minutes, I felt like I had taken Ambien. It felt like a unfinished student film that was just turned in last minute. The editing was totally horrid, the pacing was lethargic and all over the place. This film was completely devoid of any scares. The trailer made it seem SUPER INTENSE with all the crazy going on but when you watched those so called scary scenes pop up, it was like totally anti-climatic and boring. Seriously I can't believe Sam Raimi even attached his name to this project. How embarrassing. When horror is taking a giant leap forward this takes a giant crap backwards ten folds. AVOID this at all cost. It's a snoozer that isn't even worthy of SHUDDER, NETFLIX or HULA. Worst Horror Film in Decades!

One Must Fall (2018)

The Worst Movie EVER!!! IGNORE the FAKE REVIEWS!!

[1/10 · 4 December 2019]

Wow, I am going to keep it short since this movie doesn't even deserve a sentence of a review however considering how I got lured into wasting my valuable time by these "Fake" glowing reviews, I am here to tell you to do yourselves a favor and skip it. This movie could have been amazing considering it's morbid theme of Crime Scene Clean up crew in Jeopardy, but the director decides to turn it into a very lame and I do mean LAME wanna be of SAW. The acting is atrocious and the direction is all over the place. Ed Wood could have made a better movie then this crap. Poster is cool but that's about. It is the biggest waste of time ever. Worst Movie I've seen in a long time.

The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

BEYOND AWFUL!!

[1/10 · 19 April 2019]

Audiences are pretty savvy these days and if you keep screwing them over, they aren't going to pay good money to see your generic run of the mill boring and dull so called horror movies anymore. This is the case, as soon as the opening scene arrives and the titles flash, you will know your in for a below mediocre netflix-type offering. This is literally one of the worst horror movies in ages. Sad to see James Wan's name stamped on this. I am sure people will flock to it due to curiosity of the folklore and a decent edited trailer but word of mouth will kill this one soon. AVOID AT ALL COST!

The Wind (II) (2018)

Yawn!

[1/10 · 6 April 2019]

Another slow burn boring unscary pretentious indie horror film that had a great premise but sadly did not deliver. The scenery was beautiful I will give it that, but this was more an exercise in tedium and a chore to sit through then anything. Save your precious time and skip it.

Dumbo (2019)

A Hideous Mess

[1/10 · 31 March 2019]

Wow, talk about marketing deception, When i first saw the trailers for Dumbo I was wowed, the magic was there on the screen. However when I actually paid for a ticket to see this movie, I felt as though I had walked into another theater and was duped. This movie was a travesty from the get go. The kid actors were the absolute worst, they were SO ANNOYING. All the actors were miscast, you felt disconnected and there was no magic at all. By far one of the worst Disney remakes in history and one of the worst films of the year. AVOID AT ALL COST!