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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Who will be Karai's dad now that Splinter was never human?
So people have been comparing this new TMNT with other versions of the franchise to describe just how awful it is. I will stick with the Nickelodeon version, because they have a hand in this and the other way.... better series version. Over the years there have been some sensible changes like giving these different colour bands so that we can tell the difference,makes sense, then the crang were made into robots so that kids wont have to watch their heroes running around slaughtering bad guys and leaving a bloody mess behind, again makes sense. Then we have this. I know it's Bay's fault, I knew it the moment I saw the miniature transformer version of Shreder. My nephew kept asking me if he was turned into a robot. Now he call him robot Shreder. And he hates that. Then Splinter is now and always a rat and never ever has he ever been a human... So who is going to be Kairai's dad? Did they think about that? April O'niel? I kept seeing Megan Fox? My nephew kept waiting for the real O'niel to pop up from Fox's back peekaboo style, coz she looks nothing like her. Since that girl couldn't fake a personality to save her life, at least do something with the hair to slightly resemble the real deal. That's what really good actors do, they go the extra mile. Went to this movie with my nephew because he loves the other nickelodeon turtles. It was his reward for doing so good in school. Since he took it like a punishment, I'm only expecting bad grades next time. With all the bad stuff going on with this that the other reviewers mentioned, I don't even think these guys are turtles anymore. Bootleg movies should be legal if they come with bay's name on them. I'll stick with the series those guys rock.
The Expendables 3 (2014)
Did not like the new kids
The one thing I like about the Expendables is that I get to watch the heroes I used to watch growing up, it doesn't have to be a contender for an Oscar, I just want a nice walk down memory lane,with my favorite heroes from days past. So a few things made the movie less entertaining and more painful to watch for me. The biggest pain was the new kids. There's this girl who is supposed to be this super girl who fights in mini skirts and high heals (lie) and her favorite word is men, then there is this other guy who I think was supposed to attract the females because of his face (didn't work for me) and he only knows how to drive motorbikes stunt master style, then there's the computer geek who does not know how to talk to his elders in a respectable way, (actually all those kids had very bad manners when it came to respecting their elders), then there was a fourth one but thank heavens because he went practically unnoticed on my part. Then there is the waste of talent, Jet Li did nothing but hold a gun and follow Commando everywhere, no kicks or any of that cool stuff we know him for. I thought Antonio Banderas would give us the Desperado side of him but no... it was the puss in boots side of him, the annoying version. But he is a great actor and he made it less painful, still wish they would have gone the Desperado way. Jason Statham didn't have his killer lines, and so on. But the real actors no matter how bad their roles were written in this did their best. But the new kids, wish they would have just exploded in the chopper at the beginning. It's watchable if you can overlook the dumb parts. I wanted to give this one less stars but there's too many people I like in this movie to do that to them.
Godzilla (2014)
Broke my heart
I used to love Godzilla, and I knew I was going to love this one because it was in 3D. The first few minutes were good, then **** happened. I couldn't care less about any of the characters including Godzilla. What's up with the valleys on his back? Not cool. And the dinosaurs are too big to have been existing anywhere on the face of this earth unnoticed. This movie had ten points before I watched it, I'll tell you why it doesn't have that any more.
-1. Unbelievable story. No way three gigantic dinosaurs will go unnoticed for all those years, no way. -2. Acting went downhill when they killed the only person worth watching. You know who. -3. The loopholes are not supposed to be that obvious, if you haven't seen this movie you'll know what I'm talking about if you decide to waste your time and money, I recommend you don't spend any money on this, I regretted it. -4. Dinosaurs going rampant in the city crashing buildings and stuff and no mention of the casualty, in fact, Godzilla ends up being called a hero. Forget he crushed like a million people while fighting the bad guys, we'll just call them martyrs. -5. I did not understand the beef between Godzilla and the praying mantis couple. from what I got, they were two dinosaurs who were trying to get it on and have some cute little mantis babies but Godzilla wouldn't have any of that. If Godzilla isn't getting any, no other giant will. -6. Dinosaurs that eat planes, trains and nuclear stuff? Phuliz! -7. The loud music was too much but at least it kept me awake most of the time. -8. I dosed off a few times during the movie, I wasn't going to walk out after spending so much money on it.
I know there are more bad things about this movie but I dosed off so many times and I know I missed a lot and I'm grateful for that, just wish I would have bought the cheaper tickets. One thing that I will give this movie a thumbs up, is the cgi, awesome.
Schwarzfahrer (1993)
The Best Short Yet
I saw this at the Goethe Institut in my city and the lady who introduced it was very proud of it but I thought, oh, she's just saying that to market her country. Then it started, and for the first few minutes it had this thing about it that made you want to stick with it to the end, the old lady has got to be one of the best actresses I have ever watched. Do they give awards for actors in short films? Why didn't she get one? she was so convincing, so annoying and the other actors who just sat/stood there without saying anything as she went on and on with that moth of hers, wanted to just shout out something nasty. And then the ending. way better than what I wanted to do to her. That guy gave me the most satisfying shock ever. Perfect. It also felt kind of weird in a nice way that Germany, the country where some of the worst discrimination stories of the century came from, made this film about how dumb it is to discriminate. Genius. I don't think I will ever give a ten again again but this was worth it.
The Vampire Diaries: The Originals (2013)
shallow and boring
I thought it would be good because I was told it was good. But after the first few minutes I felt like my brain was slowly being drained off. Shallow story. I cant find a character I care about. What's up with the ware wolves? Ten episodes later and not even one has been shown in its full glory. Then it started with the good witch who was against the harvest, but somehow got converted and became the master of the ceremony so that she could complete the ritual. Then there's the pregnant wolf lady, who has this sick relationship with the brother of her baby daddy. Somehow I don't care what happens to her or her baby, she's that boring. And after living in America for three hundred years, they still get to keep their accents? Oh please. Some of us have brains that work.
Three starts because they managed to trick me into watching that many episodes with the lie that it would get better, very smart, but no more. And for the almost original story.