emjaypeps Reviews

Lucy (I) (2014)

A Poor Man's "Transcendence"

[3/10 · 11 October 2014]

You need to watch the trailer for this. It's rather exciting. But don't bother with the film. I won't spoil the movie (any more than Luc Besson already has)with any plot giveaways because there really wasn't one. A plot, that is. I kept waiting for the movie to start. Kept waiting, kept waiting, then I realized it was about to finish.

There is certainly a good idea lurking in here somewhere, but I couldn't find it, and neither could Monsieur Besson. Honestly, I was bored. There seems to be a real division in the reviews between loved it and hated it. The lovers, in my opinion, are far too easily pleased by shoot-outs and the notion of supernatural powers. And it was just a notion; there was no depth to anything.

Contrary to some other reviewers, I thought Scarlet Johansson was terrible. I assume the woeful overacting in the first few scenes was her paranoid attempt to make sure no one thought she couldn't act when she became the emotionless automaton for the rest of the movie. And Morgan Freeman ... WHAT were you thinking? It's a good job he had to look thoroughly bewildered most of the time. I think he was. It's a paycheck, I guess.

The ending ... uh ... yeah. Ripped-off echoes of "The Time Machine", and even the creeping black stuff looked like it was done by a first-year computer graphics student.

Monsieur Besson, please re-watch your classic "Leon". All movies with four-letter names beginning with L are not created equal.

Vehicle 19 (2013)

Falls at the first hurdle

[3/10 · 11 May 2014]

One reviewer says this film has a "nice plot", but the plot of Vehicle 19 is actually its greatest downfall, and, as movies generally succeed or fail or their plots, this movie is a bit of a bummer.

What I am about to say might, for some films, be a plot spoiler, but as I've established the plot is poop, I don't think I need to worry.

So, Paul Walker arrives at Jo'burg airport, picks up the wrong rental car and subsequently discovers a silenced gun has been left for the rightful renter for the purpose of killing the female lawyer currently tied up and gagged in the trunk. Hmm. Someone has gone to the trouble of kidnapping this woman, sourcing a silenced weapon, bundling her into a rental car, but doesn't bother with that extra step of killing her. (This is a little like that old James Bond moment when the baddies always but always fail to actually kill him when they have the chance.) Instead, they have hired someone from abroad to fly in, pick up the car, take it somewhere remote and kill the woman. Come on, people, this is one of the most violent countries on earth; you couldn't find someone local to do the job?

This is, therefore, one of the most contrived plot openings ever, and its discordant noise reverberates throughout the entire film. Paul Walker's character makes some equally idiotic moves with the sole purpose of progressing what remains of the plot, ignoring common sense at every turn in a sterling effort to place himself in as much danger as possible.

You get the gist.

The final scene is a direct rip-off of Clint Eastwood's The Gauntlet, which is a far better get-this-lady-to-safety film than Vehicle 19 could ever hope to be.

It's rather sad. As much as I really like Paul Walker as an action hero, and mourn his untimely passing, this is a pitiful epitaph for the man.