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Reviews
Star-Crossed (2014)
Crash and burned
Star crossed First impression Another one of those high school teen dramas, with kids that look waay too old to be in high school.. Only difference from the rest of these teen shows is, this one is with aliens instead of vampire's werewolf, or just humans And off course every one of the leads look handsome, just so teen girls everywhere will sigh to the picture of them. In short it's just another teen high school drama. A couple of funny things though. The only alien thing about the aliens so far, is a couple of tattoos, which look more like a cross between getting hit with paint ball and a tribal tattoo. Those a side, they look just like you and me
One thing, they have weary fancy new state of the art cell phone. And lunch machines in the cafeteria, yet they still write on paper. You also have the standard run of the mill school captain/capt. of the football team etc vs. the new guy clashes. Over the regular innocent, but could be a model, looking girl (good god, that recipe is older than the dinosaurs) and off course the new boy/alien gets blamed for their first fight (Just like all these high school shows, with the new kid on the block recipe) But I do find it funny that Americans are protesting outside of the school, with slogans like; this school for Americans or stuff like that, I find it quite funny indeed, considering they are protesting in a country the stole from the people who lived there. Fore a people who have traveled half way through the galaxy, they didn't seem weary advanced either. But they do fight like girls, and bleed red just like the humans. I felt like I was watching a mix between Alien Nation, Roswell The OC and a couple of dozen other shows Short version: it's a mixture of every other teen show you have seen before, only added a dash of SC.fi It's neither smart nor brilliant. Just your average run of the mill high school show
To Sleep with a Vampire (1992)
Vampire in need of a shrink
To sleep with a vampire. *****Warning Spoilers***** God what an awful movie this is. I know Charlie never gonna get an Oscar part but this was juts down right boring Scott valentine can't act (he never could) He basically walk around in the room, a lot of the movie take part in a one room apartment) being all moody. The script doesn't make much sense either. He picks up a depressed stripper cause he can feel she got a death wish. She comes with him back to he's apartment ( "Cause deep down, all strippers love to date their customers right") Than he tells her, that she will tell him all about what its like being out in the daylight, and that he's gonna kill her afterwards when the daylight comes at six (only problem is: you can see daylight seeping trough the boarded up windows, the whole time they are in the apartment. some scenes it even shines him right in the face, and he don't react) As she point out her self if you wanna know about being out in the daylight, why kidnap someone who works at night There is no on screen chemistry between the actors. If it wasn't cause you know both are actors you would think they had picked two strangers right of the street
Oh did I forget the cheese lines? "I can't stop the sound of your heartbeat; I can hear the blood in your veins" Seriously who, comes up with this garbage? The pathetic dialog is so bad it makes you cringe, and for a vampire movie it moves to slow paced I know all actors gotta make a living somehow, but this gotta be Charlie's worst gig up till now, It's even worse than Meridan. Scott Valentine's performance makes David Boreanaz; Angel looks Oscar worthy. Even James Marsters does a better performance as a vampire, and he had to bleach he's hair and speak with a British accent.
The After (2014)
the after what exactly? got potential,but a long way to go
***warning spoilers**** The After. Prepare to get weary confused First impression: This can actually be really good. Second opinion Leave you brain at the door,just ignore the small print, you won't get it back.
It started out pretty interesting until they came up with a cop who's so afraid to shot, and all she can do is go around point the gun and think that cause she's a cop nobody will shoot at her. When they all are stuck in the parking garage,none of them has the brains to use a car to ram through the gate. They try to lift it; they try to jack it up, the try to push it, and yet they got like half a dozen cars in the garage that could've been used as a battering ram, to plowed through the damn gate.
I suppose they are trying to get a across that all the cars in the garage era don't work.But how do we know that,we never see them try And I'm I the only one who's sick and tired of all these shows, were they walk around with guns, but the script writer can't have them shoot anybody cause everyone is signed on for a long contract? The cop had no problem shooting an unarmed guy that came running out of the dark in the parking garage,but when she really need to shoot, she nearly wet her self. Pretty pathetic!
And now To the famous nude scene with Arielle Keble, which has everyone getting so uptight,that they got problem with a few sec of Arielle Kebble in the flesh . First of: you hardly see anything,.It's almost all shown from afar. Second what's the problem with it? She's a young beautiful woman, what's wrong with that? When Keble shows her self naked, you don't ask why.You just thank god you was able to catch it. I can agree to that it didn't seem weary realistic to dive but naked into a pool, with a bunch of strangers you just met, milling around. Butt it's only a small part of the entire story, so deal with it. The whole everyone shares the same birthday, was a bit stupid.But I guess it's gonna make sense as some sort of connection between them if they make more episodes, or worst case scenario the make it up as they go along (if they make more episodes) A thing that really confused me was why everyone was milling around in the streets? Why not just walk to where ever it is you were going. As someone pointed out, the story got potential but the dialog and some of the acting is just cringe worthy. I was a bit strange that the lawyer didn't stand up for he's girlfriend when the British guy started harassing her.
La vie d'Adèle (2013)
Interesting and a bit strange
Blue is the warmest color¨ The movie isn't bad, but I feel it moves too fast in some places, and to slow in other places. ******spoilers ahead******************* The family dinner scenes I really couldn't find any point in showing. They were slow and didn't really add anything to the story; they didn't seem to have any point in them, except showing a family dinner. Though is has gotten much hype cause of the graphic love scenes between the two women, It didn't feel like its take the focus away from the main story. (Though, it probably made great PR for the movie.) Some of the lesbians scenes though I felt moved to fast. One scene she dumps's her than newly acquired boyfriend because she's insecure about what she wants. This is normal for some teenagers I guess. Than next we get to learn that one of her closer friends are either a lesbians or at least bi, by way of a kissing scene in a girls bathroom, but when Adele try to hit on her, she get turned down with a line that it was only for fun, Next thing we know Adele is hitting the male gay bars with a gay friend Than suddenly the group of friends isn't all that close friends anymore, when they suspect that Adele is gay or at least bisexual To me that was a bit incoherent and made no sense Also she goes from being insecure and shy to real open about it really fast .I would assume there are a few steps they go through, though it is probably individual. I interpret it, as way to show that some time had past by since the last scene. But I could be wrong, I just found it confusing. I found it really fascinating & refreshing that you almost never see any cell phones or computers in the movie at all. There is also hardly any background music which kind of made you feel you were there living in the moment There was no people sitting with their face buried in the computer or talking on their Smartphone The scene where she was caught cheating was a bit to American and to typical American movies (dunno who stole what from who) If you gonna cheat on you lover, why would you let the person drive you to the very building you live in, than sit in the car and make out for another 5 minute, knowing very well that you can be spotted by your partner, from the apartment window. At the end, when they have the heart to heart talk at the café, I got the impression that Emma Admitted to have screwed the pregnant lady, while she was with Adele (Am I the only one who got that impression?) which means they both had been cheating on each other, at the time when they were together. This again made Emma a hypocrite Some of the kindergarten stuff was a bit strange, but all in all I liked the movie surprisingly, but in a way it kind of reminded me of the movie Lost and Delirious only in French, but it was good I think both actresses performed really great
Welcome to the Jungle (2013)
Oh look. Van Damme has hit a new low, even for him.
What happened didn't they wanna produce your east block movies any more, or couldn't you come up with the money for a new movie? How the H do you write 10 lines about a movie that is so bad, you wanna claw your eyes out after the first 25 minutes. OK. I'll try The dialog is forced, and sounds like they read it of a cardboard poster outside of the camera view. I get the impression they try hard to pretend the camera is not there. There is no on screen chemistry between the actors. They seem like they hate being there, which makes me wonder if this is part of a community service or something. Just to be clear Van Damme got no comical talent, *****Warning spoilers ahead,**** At one point I was actually hoping Van Damme would get eaten for real by the tiger (which by the way is the best actor in this)Which incidentally was the most exciting scene in the entire 90 min, the movie lasted How on earth do people get money to something this bad?
The Wolverine (2013)
Not what I had hoped fore.But will do if your a die hard fan or a kid
Am I the only one who's getting sick and tired of all these Emo. superheroes. Who got all these amazing powers, yet all they can do is walk around and p*** & moan about them? "It's a curse", "I hate being a super hero", "It's so hard to have all this power", "it bites so much to be able to kick anyone's but". Boohoo,cry me a river. In the X-men I grew up reading, Logan kicked major but. He was tough, mean, nasty and edgy. Constantly in Cyclops face over the smallest thing. The Logan in Wolverine is just a kitten with a hang over, who walks around hating him self. This is pretty much what he does in this movie, can't even fight a few ninjas, which in the comics he went through like a hot knife through butter.Seem to recall he actually enjoyed slicing and dicing ninjas. And where's the blood? He slices and dices people left and right but there's no blood, they just fall down and than they get up again. (I'm pretty sure he hit the same Japanese mafia guy 3 different times.) This is very far from the Japanese saga I grew up reading, where Mairiko was about Logan's age (40-50ish, and her brother was the silver samurai,with no super power,just a sword and armor. And the girl who works as he's sidekick;Yukio, didn't have any special powers, as far as i can recall from the comics:she was athletic and had some throwing knives,that was about it And what was this viper chick doing in the story? There was no point in her being there, she was suppose to be some femme fatal, but I really didn't get her role in this saga. They didn't reveal her motive for helping out the bad guys. I get the impression they take a whole bunch of different stories and just mix em together into a movie script.
The story line didn't make sense at all. I was a bit disappointed and was hoping it would have more action in it,the best part of X-men 2 was when they attacked the school building,and Logan/wolverine got to go berserk.I was missing more of that here. But I must be said that Hugh Jakcman is doing a great wolverine
The Malibu Bikini Shop (1986)
Waaay back
Before internet, before everyone started screaming; racism, sexism, offensive this and that, and before everybody had a bug up their A** There were skins flicks as we used to call them when I was a kid in the 80s. Next to the beach, this was the best way to watch girls in different states of nudity. Now these films might not be Oscar material, but to us kids in the 80s it was heaven. Don't get me wrong hardly any of them, if any, have any greater plot than to show good looking half naked girls,and maybe give a few good laughs while they do so. But if you are expecting a movie like this to have any other purpose than nudity and good looking girls,you have parked your but in front of the wrong movie. I give this 5 star. For the memory alone
Lone Survivor (2013)
Act of Valor
*******************Warning spoilers ahead************* The movie started out OK, right up until the point where they got made. But than it just went down hill fast. I dunno much about being a SEAL, but I know they're supposed to be pretty good. So it sort'a amazes me when they know they're being pursued by the Taliban, they decide to wait for night fall, on a quite open hill top, in hostile area, to see if they can get radio contact. Especially when they know the Taliban is close by, and could reach them in a within two hours window at the most I can't understand why they just didn't started walking to begin with, considering the Taliban was hot on their trail. I also found it pretty weird to roll of a 5-10m cliff on purpose, but it supposed to be accurate to the book so I guess it's true than How ever I did react to the fact that all their weapons seemed to function fine after they roll off the cliff, especially after all the beating it took, and their scopes zero is still good. Another thing that puzzled me when you let the capture baddies go, why cut their hand loose, why not just keep them zip tied together? Than it would take em a lot longer to reach their comrades in arms (which consider the distance, should take them at least 30 min or more) and tell them that there are US soldiers in the woods. Found it a bit strange that after they roll of the first cliff, which was more or less a short cut if not a brutal one, the Taliban managed to walk around that cliff and catch up with them in less than two minutes. The distance would at least be a 15 min walk, considering the Taliban had no idea if they would be walking into an ambush or not. I also reacted to the fact that they openly argue about what to do with the prisoners. I know they are seals and thereby have a different code than regular soldiers. But I didn't think a SEAL platoon was a democracy. I also caught my self wondering why the SEAL's didn't have a guard posted further away from their OP. I mean they were pretty much all huddled together in the same square, so if you spotted one, you would find the rest too. To me at least it would make sense to post a hidden man as forward guard post, to avoid exactly that type of situation you see in this film, unwanted visitors stumbling over your OP. And why wasn't the rescue team ready at the choppers bay doors, when they were suppose to rappel down? They knew their job, and they knew the enemy was close, why stand around waiting to have your frigging name called instead of being lined up and ready? I would've thought that the SEALS would have gone in dressed as natives, instead of full battle gear. But I haven't read the book, so I assume it's accurate as to what they do in the field. Oh btw I dunno who's the army adviser on this movie, but he should get fired. You really can't hide from an apache-bird. They got thermo and will most likely spot you, so I found it a bit strange that when the choppers come in low on the way to the crash sight, they don't see any Taliban at all. Especially since they are quite feared by the Taliban for their ability to spot them and track em down almost everywhere in the field. To me this was not worth the money, it seemed more like a Gun&Optic commercial =look what you can do with our rifles and scopes and they will still work perfectly.