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47 Ronin (2013)
I liked it, but it had some problems
For the most part, I liked the movie. The acting wasn't that bad, it was pretty clean and it had some cool action parts.
However, I did have some grievances.
1. They all kill themselves in the end.
- Yeah, I know the film was suppose to represent the traditional Japanese story, but still that ending almost ruined the whole movie for me. Plus, he doest get the girl in the end! Yeah, they kiss and say "oh Ill wait for a thousand life times blah blah blah," but if with the main love interest of the story, the two don't get married or start some kind of a serious relationship, I am whole-fully unsatisfied.
2. Why was attaining swords so critical? We saw that the English had guns, so why not load up all your 47 guys and go gun down the place?
3. The last fighting scene was lame. Having Kai fight that snake-witch lady in the end was dull. They should have had him fight that super-tall black samurai guy, or at least incorporated STBSG in a more interesting and drawn out combat scene.
4. Needed more explanations on the "demon-creatures." Some background info on these demons would have been great. Understanding the emotional connection between the Japanese and these demons, and why exactly they hated eachothter would have made the movie much better. It is so painful when movies establish some sort of supernatural power, or yknow, some element that is uncommon or new to the audience, but never explains it or goes into depth on the subject.
5. They did a good job at establishing that Kira was a pretty mean guy, like when they showed him stomping that one guy's throat in, but for the witch lady, I feel like we needed to dislike her more, or at least get to know her better. Seriously, sometimes I feel like there is a better Establishment of cartoon characters, then in some of these cinema films.
6. The castle sedge needed something. This whole scene bugged me. It was a good scene, like on paper it had all the elements it needed, yknow it was clever, fast paced, and they kill the bad guy in the end. But it just seemed to be missing something, I cant entirely put my finger on it. My first guess is that it was lacking tension. The ronin come in and though some clever moves and general sneakiness almost accomplish their plan. Then a fight breaks out blah blah blah Kira dies. Problem = we needed to me more scared. I feel like there wasn't enough stress in the whole scene. For the most part, the ronin just come in and roll over all the bad guys. Fight scenes need to be scary; the audience needed to be placed in the shoes of the ronin, the fear of failure, death and pain needed to be fill the air and intoxicate the audience. Instead it felt like watching that piece of crap avengers movie where all that exists is that boring, cliché, over used, stale, unimaginative, synthetic mass produced tension.
7. The CGI was not too hot. It was permissable in some parts. Yknow, a little crappy CGI in a few spots is not a sin, but when the whole concept of the new locations and environments is based off of a few seconds of video-game-esque clips. There is nothing wrong with filming a real mountain side with a cheap fsaud (forgive my spelling, I'm tired) or perhaps sprinkled with some CGI effects. REAL is always > fake.
So, there ya go. My review. Sorry its pretty sloppy. Im pretty tired.
Mickey Matson and the Copperhead Conspiracy (2012)
Kids look for pieces of magical silver making machine, bad guys want the machine, bad guys find pieces and make machine, kids destroy machine, the end
This was one of the worst movies I have ever seen; and trust me, I have seen a lot of dumb ones.
The script sounds like it was written for Axe Cop (but not designed to be commical), and aside from the 15 seconds that Christopher Lloyed graced the screen, the acting was terrible. The characters do stupid things for no logical reason and the filming is slow. The only strong point that this movie has is that after you have seen it, you can later make fun of it with your friends and family, always remembering it as the worst movie you guys have ever seen. If you don't plan on watching this movie with your friends or family, then you are better of spending your evening reading random wikipedia articles.