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davidgiorgione
Reviews
Uncharted (2022)
Solid Adventure Film
Obviously comparisons are going to be drawn, it's practically inevitable whenever a film adaptation is announced or released. With an ip such as Uncharted you're going to have the die hards nitpicking away as they do. However, if you strip away the expectations that the video game before it may bring then you have yourself a very entertaining action/adventure movie.
After seeing the trailer for the first time I was prepared to write it off as another cash grab and to be completely honest I've never played an Uncharted game even though I consider myself a pretty heavy gamer. Clearly as a result my expectations were considerably low to begin with. Whether it was from my lack of connection to the franchise or my low expectations going in I surprisingly enjoyed the movie. The set pieces were highly engaging, the blunt humor and bickering between the main characters flowed nicely, and the movie didn't over stay its welcome past the 2 hours mark.
Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg had far better chemistry together than I would've guessed. Sophia Ali, although unfamiliar to myself, did a great job as well when she was on screen with the two main characters. The pacing was very well managed and considering I only had 3 hours of sleep the night prior to seeing this and never passed out once is a good sign in my book.
Since I know only a few certain aspects of the video game series I can't speak on how faithful they were to recreating the Nathan Drake so many fans were expecting to see but the film gave off the impression that they were trying. From the outfit, Nathan's personality traits, the extraordinary action sequences and that little easter egg definitely shows that there was some level of respect & approval going into the making of this film.
Overall, if you feel like this movie may be up your alley and you're a fan of true-to-formula adventure movies then chances are you're going to enjoy this one as well. If you're going into this expecting to relive the excitement you got from the video games and the amazing stories they told then be prepared for a bit of a let down.
Malignant (2021)
That was absolutely wild...
You just can't please everyone... horror movies are either paced too slow or too fast, too gory or not gory enough, overly campy or too serious. It's best to just ignore the people that share these hysterical opinions and decide for yourself if this looks like a movie that interests you.
The movie, in my opinion, was sincerely bonkers. It started off as a paranormal-esque thriller with some real creepy moments and slowly transformed into a mystery, action, stylized gore-fest extravaganza with some light humor mixed in the middle. James Wan continues to show off his unique blend of cinematography and over the top visions on this one.
For those saying the movie wasn't self aware of it's "campy" dialogue and murder scenes, come on, this is the same guy whose worked on the Conjuring, Saw, and Insidious franchises not to mention Fast & Furious 7... he 100% knows when he's being cliche and it was undoubtably intentional. Not liking it is one thing and perfectly okay, but to say this film is "garbage" or an "embarrassment" is absurd.
This movie was great, not perfect, but not horrible either. If you're one of the few sane people on here who can still enjoy a good time and turn their brains off for a little insanity then give this one a go, otherwise continue to live a mundane and boring life ;)
Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)
Genuinely Hilarious!
I don't know what's wrong with people nowadays, this movie was really really funny. Although the story doesn't hold the same intrigue as the first, especially the ending, it makes that up entirely in its humor.
From start to finish I found myself laughing pretty hard at the dynamic between Jackson, Reynolds, and Hayek, even more so than the first movie. It was absolutely golden even if some of the jokes were low tier or unoriginal, the charisma still made them feel fresh.
If you go into a movie titled "Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard" expecting them to reinvent the wheel you'll be sorely disappointed but if you have any ounce of joy in your body and can tolerate Reynold's style of acting/dry comedy (which granted isn't for everyone) you'll have a great time.
The New Mutants (2020)
Negative review bombers for the win
First things first, this movie is by no means a masterpiece or even great by most standards, but to simply call it a snooze fest or the worst movie you've ever seen is just so incomprehensibly ignorant that it causes me physical pain reading these reviews.
The story is alright, the acting is decent minus those accents, and the pacing is fine. It wasn't a full blown, dark, twisted horror movie like many were expecting but it felt like they did a fairly well enough job incorporating the horror aspects they were working with into the plot and setting. It might not be worth the Blu-Ray or multiple viewings but it was definitely enjoyable as a change of pace during this quarantine.
Those who are calling this movie boring have been over stimulated by the copy and paste, non-stop action superhero movies that have polluted the genre for years and can't sit through a "superhero" movie without constant explosions. Especially looking at that ending, slendermen and a colossal sized demon bear fighting a witch with her pet dragon is considered "boring" nowadays?
We should be encouraging movies like this attempting to push the superhero genre out of it's tropes and cliches we've been desensitized to over the years. Who wants to watch the same Avengers movie over and over again?
Underwater (2020)
Not too shabby...
This films been getting a decent amount of doubt due to being a January horror movie + Kristen Stewart js playing the lead role but it really wasn't that bad at all.
The film immediately gets into the action without wasting any time which is greatly appreciated. They do an excellent job setting the scene and laying out what needs to be done all within the first 10/15 minutes.
For the most part all the characters were convincing at portraying panicky/worried workers trying to survive. TJ did a decent job with comedic relief while Kristen Stewart was suprisingly able to convey enough emotion to sell her more dramatic scenes. I'm ecstatic they didn't make her character the Mary Sue of the sea, especially because she had the feminism haircut so that's worth some bonus points.
As for the storyline, it's a bit cliche with the whole "unfamiliar environment & something's hunting the characters" but it did a decent job trying to keep it entertaining with great set design and sick diving suits that looked like something out of the Lost Planet games. The monsters looked a bit boring except for that final reveal at the end. A giant crab would've been more threatening than those things but they weren't given too much screentime so whatever.
If they fixed the garbage creature design, those few very dark and shaky cam scenes and lose a some of the corny jumpscares you'd have an excellent horror movie!
The Grudge (2019)
Finally lost hope for Hollywood reboods and the horror genre..
What a shame... I was really hoping that this "reboot" (even though it alledgedly takes place between 1 & 2) wouldn't suck. The trailers intrigued me and I always thought the Grudge series (Japanese & American) was an interesting premise even though they weren't all that good.
However this movie is just a fat cleveland steamer for anyone looking for good scares and had high hopes that this movie might give reboots (especially horror reboots) a good rep. All the 'scares' were shown in the trailer, it was a sad excuse for a horror movie. If EVERY SINGLE SCARE wasn't an ear drum rattling jumpscare I would've fallen asleep in the theatre.
I was so excited to see the Grudge get a supossedly hard R rating for what was supposed to come across as gore but all of it was just so uncreative and disapointing. Not to come off as a "horror purist" but jumpscares are single handily ruining the horror film genre and this movie is a grade A example why...
The ONLY redeeming thing about this movie was towards the latter half where Lin Shaye's character was in the kitchen chopping on a cutting board and it was revealed that she was chopping away at her fingers. Even though (as I said before) that scene was spoiled in the trailer watching it in the theatre made me pretty uncomfortable for a moment, especially when Jacki Weaver's character discovered that she murdered her husband right before.
Save your money & your time and avoid this trainwreck snooze fest
Uncut Gems (2019)
Pleasant surprise... wow...
That was INTENSE. Decided to watch this after seeing this film pop up on so many "2019 Top 10 movies" lists and I couldn't be happier that I did. Adam Sandler absolutely killed it in this, I kept feeling confused at the choices he made but at the same time felt sorry for him.
That ending game though... my palms were sweaty and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to see if it was going to end badly like most gambling movies do. I was extremely surprised to see him win his bet thinking "wow this movie actually is going to have a happy ending" but oh boy was I SHOCKED when Sandler unlocked that door... my jaw was on the ground.
Only thing keeping it from a 10 is the ending felt incomplete. What's his family going to think and what's his side piece gonna do once she came back to his dead corpse. Either way this movie was amazing.
Edit: wow did not expect so much hate on this film after reading other reviews... not to mention it looks like users here are fishing out positive reviews and marking them all as "non helpful". I don't know about those bad reviewers but any movie that has me at a lost for words and a pounding heart rate for that long deserves a spot high up on my list...
The Witcher (2019)
Expectations were ALMOST met...
First off wow... Henry Cavill did an amazing job portarying Geralt. I was definitely unsure at first but after hearing countless times how invested he was in the character and finally seeing his performance I would've have chosen anybody else! As far as the wig and contact complaints go I never even noticed a problem with either of those through my viewing, only saw reviews with people complaining about them...
Sat through all eight episodes with only 3 breaks to use the restroom and it was worth the leg cramps without question. The story wasn't perfect at times but everytime it felt like it was starting to drop there was some wild/unexpected turn to pick it back up again.
My only real complaints would have to be the lack of clarifying the timelines in the show... I found myself a few times being unaware that they were in a "flashback" of sorts several times because there's ZERO on screen prompts to inform the viewer that they decided to take a u-turn to before the events of the first episode... I would see characters that have already died and be a bit confused as to how they came back until I caught on they were backtracking. Also, I understand they weren't going to adapt it from the games but a few more "monster hunts" or just more Geralt in general would've been nice as the whole Nilfgaard plotline felt a bit hollow at times.
Overall they did an excellent job with the first season and I can't wait to see where it picks up at when the second season comes out! Just wish it wasn't a full year away :(
6 Underground (2019)
So I guess some people were expecting an Oscar worthy flick.... LOL
I very rarely ever write reviews but after seeing the waves of negative reviews on this film I figured it was necessary since way more people than I would've imagined just don't get it...
Most of the <5 star reviews clearly never even watched the trailer since 90% percent of them were expecting something other than blood, explosions, gore, girls and non stop action. This is a MICHAEL BAY film! The trailers practically slap you across the face with that fact, it's meant to be nothing more than a fun, mindless thrill ride... there's no deep, thought provoking plot, no masterfully crafted dialogue, no deep dive into it's characters or villains. It's action for the sake of pure 150 million dollar action!
What ever happened to enjoying movies for what they were instead of always trying to get something out of them? If you go into this movie as some self indulged movie snob then yes, you will be absolutely devastated... however, if you're expecting nothing more than Michael Bay movie off the leash with some "ha has" from Ryan Reynolds then be prepared to have your socks rocked!!