Change Your Image
ezragarrison
Reviews
The Freak Brothers (2020)
Impressively bad
How does a show with a cast this great manage to be so incredibly bad? Weed culture entertainment is honestly cringey as hell, but I thought this cast might be able to do something good with it, kinda like Trailer Park Boys or Workaholics. Alas, that's not the case and the result isn't the slightest bit funny.
Bigfoot: Path of the Beast (2020)
Laughable
Really, I've been laughing at this since it came on. This is the worst acting I've ever seen, especially from the woman playing Sarah. Rigid, awkward, poorly delivered lines. This is just pitiful. There are some great low-budget films out there, this isn't one of them.
Uncut Gems (2019)
Screaming, stress and juggling lies
I don't know if I've ever had a hard a time watching a movie as this one. It's seriously nothing but a number of people lying to each other to screw each other over, juggling those lies and screaming at each other the whole time. There might have been 7 lines in the whole movie that weren't delivered as screams. There's no plot other than Sandler handing over a million dollar opal to Kevin Garnett, then his trouble getting it back from the scheister that they both run with, all punctuated by LOTS and LOTS of SCREAMING.
For real, don't waste your time unless you enjoy being constantly stressed out and bombarded by roiling anxiety. One of the worst things I've ever struggled through.
Absurd Planet (2020)
Mute, just like others have suggested.
I turned this on thinking it looked cool, but what I witnessed was so unbearable that I had to turn it off within the first 3 minutes. What is wrong with the producers that they thought this type of narration was desirable by any viewer? It's one of the most cringeworthy things I've ever heard in my life. If you want some incredible footage of amazing animals, this delivers, but only if you turn off the audio and subtitles. The only demographic I could see enjoying this are people who follow Annoying Orange and are looking for something even more annoying. This is essentially bottom of the barrel, worst of the worst YouTube audio content pasted over incredible wildlife footage.
Territorial Behavior (2015)
Unbelievably, impressively bad
The main character might be the worst actor I've ever seen, just marginally worse than whoever is playing his girlfriend on the phone. The way he delivers lines is so unnatural that one would think he would've had to TRY to be so awkward. Regarding his spoken lines, he sounds like he needs speech therapy, constantly stumbling over words and pronunciations, gargling the words more than speaking them. He clearly went out with cameras intent on his idea that he was going to act rather than just be natural. Even if you can deal with this awful speech and delivery for more than 15 minutes, there really isn't anything else to stick around for. The writing is absurd, the execution is abysmal and the acting is beyond poor. This one isn't worth struggling through.
The Paraseekers (2018)
Lots of obviously bad reviews here
This might be the second review I've ever written after 10+ years on imdb, but I had to comment on how bad this show/series is and the fact that a number of these reviews are clearly friends, family, cast and/or crew. This show is terrible. The filming is terrible, the acting is terrible, it's all around one of the most cringeworthy pieces of crap I've ever seen. I get making something that's a labor of love, but for God's sake, I could have made this show on my phone and it would have come out better shot and edited. If you don't believe me, pull it up on Amazon Prime and try to watch it.
Child's Play (2019)
How to destroy a legacy
This movie was so bad, I had to write my first review here in order to warn people, especially longtime fans. This movie is a complete abortion of the legacy created by Don Mancini and Brad Brad Dourif. Yes, the later Mancini films have been campy, but thats what lends them their charm, alomg with the personality that Dourif brings to the character of Charles Lee Ray. That character is entirely absent in the Chucky presented in this movie. I love Mark Hamill and his amazing voice over work, but this performance was entirely phoned-in. Perhaps he wasnt able to do much with the character due to the AI vs voodoo backstory, but either way, the character is flat and lifeless. Speaking of the backstory, the origin they give Chucky here is beyond laughable. It completely prevents the character from having any depth or personality.
The movie has maybe 2 points where gore loving hirror fans will be pleased, but it's overall not worth watching, especially if you're a fan of the Mancini and Dourif originals. You'll likely just find yourself groaning and frowning the entire time.