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Abandoned (2015)
Everyone said this is a hoax, a scam, fraud - until the NZ cops said "No! It Happened!"
120 days at sea with no food or water. How did these four Blokes from New Zealand survive? That's the entire premise for this movie and relates the true story of these brave hapless souls. Its mesmerizing viewing for the movie audience and I strongly recommend ABANDONED (10 stars) for all ages since there is no nudity or swearing. Why this movie didn't get a bigger audience is beyond me. Perhaps its because no "A" list celebrity starred in it or because it wasn't "shot" in Hollywood by a major studio, I don't know. Its movies like these, that a person discovers on there own, that makes movie watching worthwhile. The script in ABANDONED is good, it has excellent production quality, its well directed and the actors are very credible. SEE THIS MOVIE!
Zoolander 2 (2016)
Stiller starred, directed, co-wrote and co-produced this garbage
Wow! This film should be shown to post doctorate degree students in Psychiatry as an example of how far an inflated ego with a Napoleon complex is allowed to go in the Hollywood film industry. Talk about an over worked, boring to stifling, piece of utter trash a movie like Zoolander 2 is, would be redundant. Unfunny to describe this massacre would be generous. Zoolander 2, in its making, appears to have put hundreds if not thousands of what looks like very talented people to work on a movie with no "third act" from the opening title. If a theme with sharp jokes and comedy were infused to Z2 in the beginning it would have suceeded. Zoolander had its moments but God in heaven thats no reason for Stiller to believe he had a lock on entertaining people with whatever drivel his sick mind could spew. Stiller is looking and acting more like Adam Sandler, aka Happy Gilmore, every movie. God knows we DO NOT need another Sandler.
The Revenant (2015)
Jeremiah Johnson on steroids - astounding & beautiful picture
Yes, The Revenant was nominated for Oscars "Best Picture" of 2015 and by all means should have won the Oscar hands down. While there are similarities with one of my personal film favorites of all time, Robert Redfords, Jeremiah Johnson (JJ), The Revenant is no JJ knockoff. Its totally original and mind grabbing. After Wolf of Wall Street came out, I swore I would never attend another DiCaprio movie. Well I had heard so many positive comments about Revenant I decided I would see it and DiCaprio did an admirable job as lead actor and deserved his Oscar for this performance. To sum up The Revenant is to say it pits a white man against nature, Indians, enemies, other white men, bears, starvation, cold, wind, rain, snow, dirt, and grime in the most realistic 2 hours of movie making ever produced. Thanks to the directors, actors, producers, writers and hundreds of others in this films crew for making whats sure to be a long lasting classic. IMDb fans, you must see this movie.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
I'm a victim of the hyped up media machine Disney unleashed
Same old faces, Harrison Ford et al (more wrinkles), same old space fighters & space ships, same old death star (oh! but its bigger), same old plot and story lines i.e. light sword fight on a bridge in the final reel and many, many more too numerous to mention. As others have pointed out on IMDb this wasn't so much a new story as it was a copy of the old story and pasting the same actors, machines, bad guys in white armor, fat guy flying in a rebellion fighter down a narrow corridor of the death star to destroy, etc. etc. Millennial's would have accepted a subtle reference to the former story but to be beat over the head repeatedly in every scene was overbearing and outright boring trash. Disney better re-think the other committed pictures in this series. The next one will be a disaster if this continues. I saw this mess from a DVD Redbox so I wasn't hit as hard as those paying premium prices. I didn't give this a 1 because the new R2D2 was innovative and different. It was the only thing new about this movie. However they had, you guessed it, the same old R2D2 and C3PO taking up space in this movie. See this Star Wars - NO! Forget it!
Aloha (2015)
An "A" list cast in a stupid, insipid dreadful B movie. By all means skip it.
The U.S. Air Force should be embarrassed and ashamed of themselves for lending there aircraft, uniforms, facilities and personnel to this movies rental people. This movie does everything in its power to make buffoons and fools out of the Air Force officers portrayed in this poor excuse for a what, drama? no, Romance? no, comedy? certainly not, action picture? go see Mad Max. I don't know what its supposed to be but it turned out a stink bomb. Proofs: Bradley Cooper as Brian Gilcrest the wounded Iraq war vet limps off the C-5A cargo plane in the first scene and never limps again in the entire movie. Emma Stone as Allison Ng, the dim witted blonde as a silly giggling 14 year old teenage girl but supposed to be an Air Force fighter pilot. Than there's Rachel McAdams as Tracy Woodside married to the pilot of the C5-A cargo plane Gilcrest just got off but wants to pitch her 13 year marriage to husband Woody (John Krasinski) the minute she spots old flame Gilcrest. Tracy's daughter, out of wedlock with Gilcrest, knows absolutely nothing about Gilcrest but is also ready to pitch father Woody for Gilcrest on a hunch he's her "real" father. Bill Murray, unfunny here, as dirty old billionaire Carson Welch who wants to take the high ground for his missile launch by having Gilcrest and Girl Friday Ng talk the native Hawaiians out of there precious land for a better cell phone signal. Finally the Air Force idiots and clowns McBride as Fingers Lacy and Baldwin as a forgettable ignoramus General somebody or something. This review doesn't make sense because this movie doesn't. Stay very far away. Aloha means good-by and hello. In this movies use of the word it means good-by to your time and money and getting less than nothing in return. Awful just awful.
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
The very best of the Mad Max series - BRAVO! must see
As Greda Garbo says in one of the Academy Awards out takes "Fasten your seat belts its gonna be a bumpy ride". Oh yeah and what a ride Mad Max - Fury Road is. Every minute of this George Miller movie is stuffed with incredible mobile machines of a dark art kind of origin. That's just the machines. The people populating this movie are even more dark and even more fantastic. There is not a minute to take a breath before the next sequence of hell fire action takes place. Action movie junkies seeing this movie for the first time will literally exhaust themselves from the excitement. This is the best action picture ever made and I'm including Fast and Furious 7 when saying this. Miller has out done himself and made an absolute classic. An 8 is a very high rating on the IMDb but it doesn't do this movie justice, its a clear 10 all the way. My thanks to the actors, directors, writers, crew and producers for making this unique entertainment. See this movie - you will not regret it.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
50 shades of cat-o'-nine-tails S&M with a smattering of soft porn .....
Huh? Is this where the American film industry wants to take this genre? This movie is a twisted, incomprehensible load of borderline XXX scripts rescued from some valley dumpster. The plot is moronic to be flip and out and out trash to be honest. Here's the plot in three sentences. A college student steps in to do an interview with some Billionaire who has nothing else apparently to do than pursue hot girls for his "playroom", a Marquis de Sade designed gem with every imaginable type of torture and humiliation device ever conceived. This girl takes most of the movie to sign the contract the billionaire has dreamed up to keep him out of court and prison. Needless to say there would be no 3rd act without her signing the contract so she does and we get to watch the aforementioned devices at work on her. The end. There, I just saved you $100 for the sitter, tickets, drinks, parking etc etc. Please DO NOT see this abomination. Thanks.
Joe Dirt (2001)
This is funny. Many good laughs. Can't wait to see sequel this year........
This is a cleverly written movie by Spade and an associate. Its funny and well directed. Oh sure as in any comedy there are jokes that miss but its only a few in Joe Dirt and the majority hit. I swore I would have nothing to do with Sandler movies but he's only an Exec Producer which means he invested some cash into the making of the movie and thankfully didn't write, direct or even appear. Thats the best I can say about this picture and what makes it worth an 8 and worth seeing. On the whole its funny and doesn't demand anything from its audience. BTW Brittany Daniel is another reason to see this movie for the guys, she is SUPER HOT!
Taken 3 (2014)
A "thinking persons" adrenaline lift without all the T&A/ chiseled hunks...
The Los Angeles freeway roller coaster car/truck pile up and race is NOT to be missed in Taken3. Also, of course, the obligatory hand to hand combat and crazy machine gun fight's. What really makes this film stand out however, is the clever plot and story line that twists and turns and grabs you and pulls you in. Liam, is my favorite, and fun to watch in this picture as is Whitaker and how they "chess match" (Whitaker carries a chess piece with him) each others moves. I would have rated Taken3 a perfect ten even if it had Brad or George in the lead. Taken3 is that good. Franchise pictures usually lose a lot of steam in the 3rd film, with Fast & Furious, (film #6 I rated 10) an obvious exception to this rule and now the Taken series. Taken just gets better and better. You will not be disappointed by spending your time and money seeing this movie. I read some of the very low ratings here and those low rating folks just don't get it. The Alfred Hitchcock great thriller movies are long gone. Get into the 2015 movie genre will ya.
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)
Ho hum - the story (?) is lost in Terabytes of CGI that are OK
Guardians of the Galaxy - 2014 (I rated 10 out of 10) does a wonderful job of matching a great storyline to incredible CGI. Perhaps its the longevity of the Hobbit story or its just seeing the same shop worn characters over and over and over again. Whatever it is, the Hobbit really wore out its welcome about two or three movies back. Who's counting? How do they keep refreshing a story after so many episodes? The short answer is you don't you move on after three at the max. There does appear to be an exception to this rule and its the Fast & Furious franchise 8 (I rated 10 here) going on 9. What keeps F&F going of course are the cars, the T&A (c'mon you noticed), bringing in fresh A list actors to the scripts, the exotic locations and the incredible fast pace. Could this have been done with the Hobbit, I don't think the cutesy tameness of the little dwarfs lends itself to the F&F formula.
Unbroken (2014)
More than a POW story. Its a Sports and Survival story as well. See it !
Yes, this movie glues your eyes and mind to the screen and won't let go. "Unbroken" is a terrific movie with an amazing cast that delivers on all cylinders. The very best part about "Unbroken" is that its a true story. I won't go into detail about the story because you must witness this picture from opening scene to closing epilogue. Jolie as a director is beyond reproach and shares company with the best directors in Hollywood. She should have won an Oscar for Best Director by doing such an outstanding job with this movie. "Unbroken" is a Cohen Brothers screen play and script so one shouldn't be at all surprised at the superb quality of this film. Once again Ethan and Joel have set the bar for quality movie making beyond the reach of the great majority of today's film makers and have surpassed or equaled many of those in Hollywood's past as well i.e Spielberg, Ford, Coppola, Hitchcock, et al.
The Skeleton Twins (2014)
psychotic, manic-depressive, low self esteem twins with suicidal tendencies....
What a premise for a movie that fails on all levels. Don't feel you can overlook the mental illnesses this movie exploits by having a good laugh or two - WRONG there are NO laughs, not a one. What a depressing and dark movie. One might even over look the darkness if the acting wasn't so amateurish, juvenile and third rate. That goes for all the actors. What a pathetic waste of good film stock or 0's and 1's if they went direct to digital. There is no common cohesive thread that binds this story together so it drifts like so much vapor for 2 hours. If you have a penchant for watching contrived bad people behaving badly, have at it. The "Skeleton Twins" are for you.
And So It Goes (2014)
Keaton as a demented Annie Hall with Alzheimers - this movie bombs
38 years ago Woody Allen's "Annie Hall" broke all sorts of records for being unique and entertaining. Diane Keaton played a pivotal role in that movie as the lead character Annie Hall. It seems Ms Keaton has frozen herself into that role and brings that same quirkiness to every role she's played since than, whether it requires it or not. In "And So It Goes" she doesn't require that weirdness and its a total distraction throughout this movie and why I'm rating the movie a 1. Keaton has traded her Hamburg for a Panama and graciously went sans the mens tie and vest this time around. Michael Douglas does hold up his part but Rob Reiner appears to be trying throughout this movie to direct and produce a knockoff of "Annie Hall". Reiner lets Ms Keaton do her frozen best. This movie is tedious and has the speed of a thick molasses in January. You'll fall asleep a number of times watching "And So It Goes", for most of us doing that provides some much needed relief. I was waiting for Keaton to blurt out "Lottee Da" at any moment while watching this stinker of a movie. Instead we get her caterwauling like a Bluetick hound dog chasing a raccoon. Horrible singing, just horrible.
The Giver (2014)
Bridges and Streep are in the cast but BEWARE! this movie's a dog
The dude, Bridges, is like high on peyote or LSD or something. Its weird his eyes are orbiting around when he speaks and he's spitting out his dialogue like a dog with rabies. Streep is like sleep walking through her role and you could occasionally see a glimmer in her eyes of WOW! are we ever pulling a fast one on you stooges viewing this unbelievable, stinking pile of cinematic horse manure. This movie is so slow you'll catch yourself falling asleep a few times as I did. The Giver's theme is mankind can have paradise without all those little emotions getting in the way. Its a moronic, overly simplified approach to life and for the viewers of The Giver you'll be like we were, asking the theater owner to be The Giver of our price of admission, BACK!
Nightcrawler (2014)
Terrific film ! - a gen y guy with no money, friends or home trying to get by...
Its a jungle out there and this guy uses his wits, sharpened by 1000's of hours on the internet (taking classes and learning life's lessons) to scratch out a living. He finds his niche in shooting news video's and succeeds. Fortunately for the viewers of this picture we get to go along for the exciting ride and witness the many fascinating incidents he has in getting there. This movie is sorta like a primer on giving society what it craves without seriously breaking laws and getting tossed in the slammer. Yeah OK this guys an anti-hero but they make the best movies don't they. Its a solid 10 out of 10 for me. Definitely see this movie, especially if your a Millennial.
Sex Tape (2014)
Insipid, moronic, stultifying - whispered in her ear "I *ucken love you"
yes that's a direct quote from Jason to Cameron to which she responds "No I love *ucken you". Sweet terms of endearment like these are strewn throughout this huge, stinking pile of cinematic dog crap. I'm sure you'll feel like I did when the ending credits rolled i.e. an overpowering need to scrub hard in a hot shower with anti biologic soap. By all means do not spend money or time to see this pathetic garbage. To say this movie is funny or humorous or cute would be to say, why don't you see this movie to see why a 14 year old boy would sneak into an elementary school with a machine gun and kill over 20 tiny little kids. That act and this movie comes from the very same thinking i.e. these days anything goes for "entertainment".
The Railway Man (2013)
OK some scenes are boring and extended and should have been cut ......
but once you get past these two or three scenes the picture does speed up and reaches a level of genuine interest. I rated this movie an 8 which is high but the subject matter, which has been explored in many other movies, rates this high because of the moral dilemma's it presents to Lomax (Firth) and how he faces and overcomes them. Most people will get twisted up in this movie's physical torture scenes, but in my opinion, its the mental anguish and torture thats the real life story here. Patti is portrayed as an understanding and empathetic wife by Kidman and does an admirable job, despite as I said the slow spots in the film. The Railway Man is a different type of war movie and should be seen.
Lucy (2014)
Lucy explore's a sci fi subject untouched to date - interesting plot
This movie does an above average job of exploring this subject with Morgan Freemans character doing the background description for the capacity of the human brain and doing a good job doing so. Ms Johansen is very energetic in her portrayal of Lucy and does a very good job of conveying an empathy for her character. Lucy isn't the best sci fi movie made but than again most movies are not the best in there category. So I rate this movie an 8 above average since it does a good job of holding your attention without boring you to death. Many times thats all you want from a movie and Lucy does deliver - especially if you like to think about what humans could evolve into someday.
Chef (2014)
A "road" movie with gourmet quick service van cooking - its terrific !
The real star of this movie is Percy (Emjay Anthony) the ten year old son of the main charter Chef. Emjay is a future Oscar winner and should be a presenter on this Oscar presentation night. This movie has it all, the agony of defeat i.e. Chef being fired from a Michelin 3 star restaurant to complete redemption by starting up a new restaurant, with all the pitfalls and very funny situations that occur in between. Emjay plays Percy and steals every scene. Watch this young fellow Hollywood he's on his way to some very big future hits. I liked this movie and rated it 3 clicks above the 100 Foot Journey since it's easier to understand the actors and the gourmet and quick food cooking was way above 100 Foot.
Fury (2014)
Like Das Boot (1981) only American & on land - see it !
Wolfgang Petersen's Das Boot is one of THE best war movies of all time and it's German. If you haven't seen Das Boot its great. The comparison with Fury may not at first seem obvious but the tight quarters these 5 Americans have in the Sherman tank commanded by Sgt Wardaddy (Pitt) is remarkable in its sheer grit, gore and terror. By the way, Pitt should have received an Academy Award for Best Actor for Wardaddy but won't because he wasn't nominated for 2014. Moving on, the battle sequences are many and you won't see but one brief romantic interlude in the whole picture, which most guys will appreciate. The scenes of fighting and background are gut wrenching and realistic as war should be portrayed. This movie spares no one in demonstrating the brutality of both sides during the fighting in WW2 Europe. If your non squeamish I highly recommend seeing this movie. The blood and violence no doubt turned off enough movie goers here on IMDb to rate this excellent flick a mere 7 - it's easily a 9 or a 10. All I can say about that to those low raters is this, go to Disney's Frozen if you want to live in a fantasy world. SEE THIS EXCELLENT MOVIE.
Atlas Shrugged: Part III (2014)
Atlas didn't shrug he took a dump and out came this movie...
Lets see, we a have a "motor" that takes electricity from the air and produces enough electricity to run the west coast. All from a metal box the size of a farmers outhouse. With no less than a secret saying boldly lettered above the door to open the door. Next, we have the secretive, and highly prized Project F. This little gem of an interlude is a smaller metal box with lots of pretty blue, green and red LED's plastered all over it. This Project F will extract information from any poor SOB connected to it via cheap looking jumper cables. Poor hero John Galt is hooked up to this thing to get him to change his mind about being a true blue Capitalists and spill the beans on the whereabouts of the other true blues. So, no doubt, using Galts own "motor" electricity he is switched on and starts to hum and smoke. Wow! Project F turns out to be nothing more than an extension cord plugged into a 110 AC electrical outlet. Anyway, Project F is a government job and no doubt headed up by the Pentagon. This movie would have been perfect as another Austin Powers comedy.
The Expendables 3 (2014)
like watching one of those carney shooting booths - endless supply of rabbits
Wow! 10 guys kill, oh about a thousand of some eastern European country's army. Even got so bad Mel Gibson's character remarks to one of the army's generals "How can 10 guys kill an army?". So Mel, in utter frustration, says he has to do the job himself and shoots the two army generals and storms after Sly Stallone. Sly's gang of course has an endless supply of ammunition of various calibers, grenades, knives, fly swatters and rolled up newspapers. The last two items were what I may have mistakenly seen. Anyway, the fighting, violence, truck chases, shootings, etc are really more like a cartoon (The Road Runner) than anything that could possibly or remotely take place in real life. This movie is perfect for a 6 year old boy and his fantasies. If your not a 6 year old boy you probably won't like this movie.
Left Behind (2014)
I'm sorry to say my $10 admission was "Left Behind"....
What did the producers of this movie say in the meeting to decide if this script should be "green lighted"? Something like this I suppose,"Hmm, lets see, an end of earth disaster where only the good get taken up to Heaven and all the bad, evil doing criminal types like Nick Cage and his College enrolled daughter are among those left behind." By the way, I counted at least 3 times where Cage assumes his daughter wasn't allowed into heaven when of course his wife (Lea Thompson) was. This movie is full of odd quirks, contradictions, and just plain lousy film making. If I didn't have to bear the embarrassment of trying to explain to the theater manager why I was asking for my $10 admission returned I would have asked for it. Nicolas Cage will never be accused of under acting a scene or a role. Also, someone should remind him that a pause between lines isn't a bad thing. When you have a script and plot as stupid and moronic as "Left Behind" I guess any actor would just think I'll take the money and run. Like they did with my $10.
The Hundred-Foot Journey (2014)
French and Indian accents make this movie impossible to understand.
I watched this noncommunicable waste on DVD and had to stop and back up the film so I could get the drift of what was going on. One punch line to a humorous dialog I couldn't decipher, even after backing up THREE times to listen to it. If the director just asked the actors to slow down and speak clearly this movie would have been more enjoyable. I've read a few of the reviews of "The Hundred Foot Journey" here and the reviews rated high never mention the fact that the script was mumbled from start to finish in incoherent English with very heavy French and Indian accents. Even Helen Mirren, who's English, has this weird French accent that's English/French bogged down gibberish. The production, sets and beautiful French country scenery unfortunately are not enough to carry this film. I would watch this movie only if you get a free loaner from the library or your already paying a cable or a streaming service and don't mind throwing a couple of hours away.
The Equalizer (2014)
You liked Man On Fire? You'll love Equalizer. Its Boston and the Russian Mob......
Not Mexico and the cartel but its one of Denzel's best acting performances and shows why he can and does command a minimum of $10m per picture. With "The Equalizer" he's a Producer so may have settled for less salary. Regardless, this film spends time introducing and defining the characters which I think is a plus and it establishes a trust the viewer has in Robert (Denzels character) that allows us to feel comfortable with some very uncomfortable violence he bestows on the Russian Mob in Boston and the crooked cops working with the Mob. BTW, I feel certain many people were turned off by the violence and thus gave this film a low rating. All I can say about that is, the picture reflects reality so if you want to continue to live in a fantasy world go and see Disney's Frozen. Also, if you want to see another Bronson (remember The Death Wish days?) type movie starring Denzel by all means rent or purchase "Man On Fire" its Denzel Vs The Mexican Drug Cartels over a kidnapped little girl. Its a very good movie. See The Equalizer and Man On Fire for a terrific double feature evening.