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Kholop (2019)
Stupid rich kid gets a girl he doesn't deserve but it's ok because he's cute
Multi-layered comedy full of in-jokes finally makes laugh at Russian 'new aristocracy' (oligarchs + statesmen) children. Its only significant minus is female lead and romantic storyline. Overall, the movie is a kind of revelation, not only to modern Russian cinematic level. Because for the first time in both Soviet and Russian history it presents stupid (but cute) male character as protatonist. By local standards at least, it's almost a feminist movie.
So, if you know Russian emancipation of serfs (slaves) was in 1861, and the reform lasted for 50 years, the movie can make you smile. Especially, if you're Afro-American thinking like James Baldwin, that racism is a key to everything. No offense.
Madonna: Innocence Lost (1994)
Now I know what to expect from Madonna biopic
You can't keep a good woman down. But tall-poppy syndrome makes it worth trying as first-time screenwriter of new Madonna biopic Hollander can prove one more time. This movie is as anti-feminist as you can get. As if Tommy Mottolla was giving money for its production in order to compete for his wife Mariah Carey's success. Because "good girl" Mariah made a career move by making a man 20 years her senior to divorce his old wife. It was OK for the society, "bad" Tommy and "good" Mariah. But "bad girl" Madonna was dating for 3 years with young DJ and music- producer-wannabe John Benitez. That was "immoral".
Guys, Madonna's American, she was the second best-selling artist in the world charts combined in 80s (after Prince), 90s (after Mariah Carey), 00s (after Eminem). Just search the phrase "Who were the most successful artists of each decade?" Prince died, she's still standing. This TV-movie was just a TV-movie. No need to see the same slut-shaming in cinema, IMHO.
Viking (2016)
Cinderella story in Russia
This film is about illegitimate son's long journey to success.
Vladimir was the first one kill his brothers (was the first one to do so in known Russian history) and simultaneously marry multiple women while having harem full of virgins. This was before, during and after his new-found Christian faith. Was there something good in him? Yeah. He "loved his mother" who was a kind of slave to his grandmother Olga.
Thanks to so-called "peacefull conversion to Christianity" it took Vladimir Lenin just a minute to say "f@ck it" 1000 years after the events - and so-called religious Russia ditched it without much regret. Good job, both Vladimirs! Another reason for me to be ashamed of my compatriots - they care more about Vladimir's myth as a saint than about the lesson Russians should've learned from it. You cannot force love in any translation of this word from Greek: love for a woman (eros), brother (philia), mother (storge) or God (agape). Vladimir only loved his mother (according to his own words in the beginning, not his actions).
Modern Russian domestic vikings in the 90s have killed and robbed their own people to become "princes", just like Vladimir did. And now they're sponsoring Russian Orthodox Church because of her all-forgiving "you're OK, but give us money" motto. Funny that history repeats itself this way.
This movie is so bad it's actually good.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
two points for Victoria character, others deserve zero
This movie is advertised in Russia as "finally-good-Russian-guy-in-Hollywood-movie" but even this positive attitude can't save the bad script. There were lots of possibilities to make Napoleon Solo and Ilya likable and at least 2-dimensional. There's a difference between mocking spy movie and mocking Guy Ritchie movie. Even here in Russia where Guy is "our everything" considering cool brutal movies for "real guys".
These people here respect him for his homophobia (and desire to have more biological children with young wife) with all their heart (thanks to Christopher Ciccone tell-all book). And even after that love for director this movie is not a masterpiece or decent entertainment. Even Thom Cruise latest flick is better.
** This part of review contains spoilers ** No suspense, two jokes and time wasted at mediocre Alicia Vikander instead of amazing Elizabeth Debicki. This scene with drowning Ilya is really good and final scene too. But ladder scene and many others are really about nothing. Italian villain a-la female Hitler? LMFAO duet would be better.
Of course, this movie is going to gain a lot of success in Russia for its mention of mighty 60s politician Yekaterina Furtseva (or Catherine the Third). Maybe it is shocking but Russia is very "anglophilia" driven country that hates KGB and loves MI6. Hugh Grant had a chance to save the plot. But he didn't. Anyway, Guy Ritchie is now very welcomed in Russia unlike his ex-wife. He's a hero who "escaped Madonna's sexual slavery" (quote from the article) and makes children with his Jackie Ainsley every 1,5 years. Thus, his art is always going to be adored by all Russian guys who can't afford intelligent sexy Russian girls the same way Alicia Vikander's German character can't be engaged to Russian.
BTW, even now German girl can easily marry Afro-German, Turk, Tunisian... any other minority... but not Russian.
Armie Hammer actually looks like Oleg Vidov (Soviet actor who plays KGB agent in "Gentlemen of Fortune" 1971 film).