Shintaro_Rocks

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

A horrible remake for a generation full of suckers

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

For all you kiddies out there, here is the movie that will make you pee in your little britches. Teens should love this movie: after all it has a big breasted Jessica Biel to ogle over; it has a slick and polished music video look that the TRL lovers will go for; it has young love and lust, including a fledgling marriage and a never-to-be used engagement ring, shown in a tragic scene that's sure to make the teenage girlies whine in unison; and of course it has enough digitized chainsaw sound effects to make the teens jump in their seats and cover their eyes.

The sad thing about this remake, is that it has spawned a generation full of people who think this is what a horror movie should be. And yet another sad fact, is that some teenagers believe this movie contains real footage, and there's still a leatherface running around out there in Texas somewhere. I bet high school hallways are ripe with ditzy comments on leatherface's whereabouts. And yet sadder still, most teens probably believe this remake is better than the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

After all of this I probably come off sounding like an old curmudgeon, but if you've ever been on the TCM remake message board, you'd get the same impression as I.

Don't get me wrong; the teenagers will eat this movie up. It was after all, made for the teen market. But any TRUE fan of the original TCM will be very disappointed in this unintelligent, hollywoodized remake.

So if you're a teen, out looking for a decent horror movie to see, I suggest you see this remake, you have license to see it. But if you're a mature movie viewer, especially a horror fan, and you go see this movie and end up liking this god-awful remake; you should be ashamed of yourself.