sam_fenn Reviews

The Possession (I) (2012)

What did you expect?

[4/10 · 14 September 2012]

Most of the reviews on this website of this film are pretty negative, and rightly so. It was a boring, generic, not fear invoking and cliché. I don't wish to give it any kind of praise on any level really, but one thing I will say to the people reviewing it badly is, what did you expect?

I went into this film anticipating nothing more than some spooky voices, a young girl doing some unnatural things with her body and some religious, atmospheric exorcism. I did not really expect to be frightened or, really, entertained; I just watched it for the sake of watching it really. It was your typical horror and exorcism film, with virtually every cliché you might expect from a horror film.

So, basically, a girl finds a box at a yard sale and is inexplicably drawn to it, saying 'cool!' and approaching it with enthusiasm. Erm, what? It was literally just a box, granted a large box with Hebrew carvings round it, but none the less, just a box. And so she buys this box, takes it home, then s*** gets real.

After her father fails to open the box, the girl, again inexplicably, gets up in the middle of the night and works it out instantaneously. Inside she finds a considerable amount of large, dead moths; and yet this girl, I think ten years old, is completely unfazed by this and has no qualms with moving them around with her bare hands.

And so the film continues with the girl being possessed and blah de blah de blah. So without first considering any alternative, the father, apparently a man with no religious, let alone Jewish, history, immediately feels absolutely sure that his daughter is possessed by a Hebrew demon. And so before consulting any authorities on Hebrew theology or in fact demons and exorcisms of any sort, he takes a Torah (presumably) to his daughter's bedroom and attempts to exorcise her. Conveniently, he can also read, speak and translate Hebrew.

So, from the points I have illustrated you could probably quite easily infer that this film brings nothing new to the table, and scarcely even tries to. But don't review this film as if we could have expected any more. I mean, come on, this is the 21st century, the art of horror film making has been well and truly buried. I won't bother saying don't bother going; I've already told you that. Unless you're easily pleased by horror films. Then this'll probably do it for you.

Green Lantern (2011)

Ridiculous film with a ridiculous choice of lead role.

[1/10 · 2 July 2011]

This film was terrible. I could not believe they've picked Ryan Reynolds to play Green Lantern, he belongs in rom-coms. And that is what he almost turned this into, the comedy played far too big a part in this. What little faith I had in Reynolds as playing this role was shattered very quickly, he simply is not made for serious movies. Though this film isn't exactly serious, it isn't exactly a comedy either.

Mainly though, the story line was completely flawed. The whole thing just seemed like bits of 'filler' taken from other films and clumped together. Nothing was properly explained, like, why didn't the evil guy have a body? Why was he telekinetic if he didn't have a stupid ring? Why is fear yellow? Whenever they mentioned the yellow power of fear I felt like I was watching kids play with action figures making up a stupid story off the top of their heads. And the fact that all Green Lantern needed to do was say the 'vow' then become super powerful and cunning to kill this thing? Being a superhero movie I was hoping for more Earthly heroics. It was just ridiculous.

The whole immortal thing was stupid as well. Seemed again like they just couldn't come up with an idea, so they just thought 'ah whatever, a load of unoriginal aliens sat in really high seats at the top of a really high building who have infinite knowledge but then get proved wrong. That sound okay?'. There was just not enough detail to any aspect of this film.

There was genuinely nothing I enjoyed about this film, being a teenager lets me sort of enjoy a film if there's good fighting or action in it, even if I know the film is awful. Like 300. But this, simply offered me nothing. Absolutely awful. Save your money.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Absolutely terrible.

[2/10 · 1 July 2011]

First of all, I would like to point out how predictable this film was. Considering the fact that it showed about 2 differences to the two previous films. You know, Sam's fine, he discovers a Decepticon plot, meets the Autobots, all seems lost, huge battle occurs, Optimus Prime saves the day. This, with a view slight variations, occurs in every film. So, by this, I quickly deducted what would happen at the end, and I was not far off.

Secondly, the seemingly never ending fight scene which just leaves you sitting there thinking "Does this actually end? Am I going to be here for the rest of my life?", I lost track of how long it went on for, but I got the feeling at least 3 robots got killed more than once. It was ridiculous, it was dragged out and unnecessary. And the slow motion was completely off, it slowed at the stupidest points, and never added any effect to the fight.

Third, as far as I know, Megatron has now been killed twice. I might be wrong but from what I remember, he got the All Spark pushed into him and killed him in the first one, then got a sword through the face in Revenge of the Fallen. It shows how dragged out these films are, I liked the first movie, the second one was a mess and now Dark of the Moon has nearly ruined them all. I can only pray they don't try to resurrect it in the future with a fourth film. Awful, awful movie.