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Lords of Dogtown (2005)
Disjointed story, uninspired performances hobble 'Lords'
Stacey Peralta's documentary "Dogtown and Z-Boys" served as the springboard for "Lords of Dogtown," a fictionalized account of extreme skateboarding's birth. Poor teenagers from Dogtown, an area of Venice Beach, CA, emerged from relative obscurity to become superstars and make skateboarding into a true counterculture.
This is director Catherine Hardwicke's second feature. I really wanted to like her first film, 2003's "Thirteen," but like that effort "Dogtown" falls victim to some scattershot storytelling and poor direction.
Events happen with little explanation or background and characters do things that seem totally inconsistent with their past actions. The actors do what they can, but this ultimately seems like a textbook example of poor direction and screenplay resulting in a subpar product.
Heath Ledger, sporting fake teeth, scraggly hair and an everpresent cigarette, hams it up like an actor twice his age as Dogtown skateboard guru Skip Engblom. The main trio of teens, portrayed by Emile Hirsch, John Robinson and Victor Rasuk, are played as little more than caricatures, with no motivation for their performances. Michael Angronaro fares the best of all the actors, playing a doomed rich boy who longs to be part of the Dogtown culture.
It feels like there could have been a good dramatized feature made from this true story, but this is definitely not it. This deserved a director with a true knack for the visual and a screenplay devoid of clichés.
Monster-in-Law (2005)
Cliché-ridden "Monster-in-Law" is a true stinker
Truth be told, I would probably not have seen Robert Luketic's woeful romcom "Monster-in-Law," if it would not have been for the presence of Jane Fonda. The two-time Academy Award winner chose to make this pairing with tabloid darling Jennifer Lopez her first film since 1990's "Stanley and Iris." It's hard to believe that Fonda would choose to make her comeback in this insidious stinker after over a decade of retirement. "Monster-in-Law" may just be one of the worst studio romantic comedies to be released in recent memory, a movie so bland, brain dead and unengaging that it almost defies explanation.
Fonda stars as the female equivalent to Robert DeNiro's character from "Meet the Parents," a fallen television journalist who plots to derail her unwitting son's (Michael Vartan) impending nuptials to a free spirit dog-walker/temp/aspiring designer (Lopez).
These characters are more outlines than fully realized roles. Fonda hams it up, delivering groan-worthy one-liners while Vartan and Lopez stare vacantly into each other's eyes, spouting cliché-ridden romantic dialogue that would make George Lucas cringe. Unlikely sight gags that are more mean-spirited and stupid than chuckle worthy punctuate the flabby storyline.
Wanda Sykes, Adam Scott and Elaine Stritch are utterly wasted in supporting roles.
"Monster-in-Law" deserves more criticism than the usual crappy J. Lo project because it is such a wasted opportunity. If after spending so long out of the spotlight that Fonda felt this was the project for her less-than-triumphant return, then maybe she should have stayed at home.